Bachelorette

Bachelorette Hannah Recap: Fantasy Suites

As the episode wrapped with Bachelorette Hannah flipping off the rejection SUV that carried Luke into the onset of a tropical storm, I took a moment to marvel at the two-hour spectacular which will forever be known in Bachelor Nation as “the windmill episode.”  Never have I gasped at the television so ardently or wavered in my ability to pick a lane as to which suitor I think will win

Continue reading…

Bachelorette Hannah Recap: Hometown Dates

Much like that creepy gang member guy who challenges Danny Zuko to a race at Thunder Road, Hannah Brown lives by the same credo: “The rules are…there ain’t no rules.” She’s a woman who needs clarity and if that means she has to shake things up the way they are traditionally done in the Bachelor franchise, so be it. This is her life at stake, people. And she’s not going

Continue reading…

Bachelorette Hannah Recap: My Bologna Has a First Name

I think the only way we are going to get through the remaining episodes of Hannah’s journey to potentially screw up her life is through the power of camaraderie, deep breathing exercises, and watching old clips of Sean Lowe’s season on YouTube.  We must stand strong, people. In the epic words of the students in High School Musical, “We’re all in this together.” SIMPLE DISCLAIMER The following information you are

Continue reading…

Bachelorette Hannah Recap: Straddle Time

Y’all, I’ve come up with a theory that I think might shock you. Please don’t tell me if I’m right, because I don’t do spoilers and I’d rather be surprised (read: disappointed) in real time, the way Our Host Chris Harrison intended. I think Luke might take this all the way. Or at least to the fantasy suites. I’ve been touting “producer’s pick” here and on the podcast for weeks.

Continue reading…

Bacheorette Hannah Recap: 40 Minutes of Drama

I am a professional Bachelor franchise recapper. Since 2003, I have settled in front of my television to watch someone’s journey to find love. There are definitely highs. There are certainly lows. I scream. I rejoice. I once did a little dance.  I’ve learned what’s attractive (kiss up against the wall) and what’s not (calling yourself ABC), but never in my sixteen years of doing this have I been somewhat

Continue reading…