Colton is the next bachelor

Well, in case you’ve been busy living life and, I don’t know, doing your job this morning, you may have missed that Colton is the next bachelor.

Yes, that Colton. The one who just left Tia on a beach bed in a pile of emotional turmoil, top knot astray with a drippy nose and big tears threatening the integrity of each individual fake eyelash.

Now some feel this is a good thing because Colton is pretty eye candy and he deserves love, just like anyone else who may have lived in that germ-infested L.A. mansion or on that crab-filled beach in Paradise. Third time’s a charm, right?

Not necessarily. As Nick Viall.

Colton was great on Becca’s season. I think he liked her well enough, but he still held a torch for Tia. Whether that is the reason Becca let him go is irrelevant at this point, because she is happily planning her wedding to Garrett right now somewhere in Minnesota.

In case you didn’t watch Paradise, Tia practically counted down the seconds until her beloved Colton bounded down the steps. They worked through a bit of a rift and he finally declared that he was ALL IN and vowed to give this relationship a shot.

A few days/weeks later (time is a mystery in Paradise), he claims his heart isn’t in it and he escorts Tia to a beach bed to talk about his feelings, her feelings, and how he wants to break up because she doesn’t deserve him and all his confused feelings.

The next thing we know, Michael Strahan announces him as the bachelor on Good Morning America.

Colton left me feeling “meh” after watching the After the Rose episode, where he acted like a jack wagon. But let’s say he just had a bad day. I’ll give him a pass. My problem is that he was equally as big of a question mark on Bachelor in Paradise. It took him a while to come around to Tia (again, that may have been producer driven) but once he did, he and Tia became one of the boring couples.

But I shouldn’t hold that against him. I love Grocery Store Joe and Kendall and we NEVER see them because they are too normal. Does that mean Tia and Colton were normal, too? Am I ambivalent about Colton’s announcement because I think he’s as exciting as a vanilla wafer?

I think I secretly wanted Jason to be the next bachelor and have just now processed through those feelings.

Bottom line: I don’t think Colton needs love right now. I think he needs a therapist.

QUESTIONS:

  1. Did producers make a deal with Colton and tell him that if he broke up with Tia and left in the middle of the day, instead of a rose ceremony, they would give him the coveted position of bachelor?
  2. Did front-runners like Blake and Jason gently decline an offer to be the next bachelor? Perhaps they weren’t interested in the gig?
  3. What about gap-tooth Peter? Has his name ever been on the table? Or cowboy Luke Pell?
  4. And how will they handle Colton’s virginity on the show?

I’m anxious to hear your thoughts!

Photo By: ABC.com

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Michelle
Michelle

THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING LUKE. I am still not over him not being The Bachelor. Losing Jason is like losing Luke all over again and I’m dealing with feelings.

Sandy
Sandy

Luke was a complete jerk after Winter Games. Seems like he just turns on the charm and politeness for the cameras 🙁

Michelle
Michelle

Ah bummer! I didn’t watch winter games.

BA77
BA77

Seriously. I liked Luke on the Bachelorette and the Winter Games until the end, and then I googled him and found out all this stuff – he’s a total jackwagon!

Tasha
Tasha

That’s the thing though, they are ALL jackwagons. If you want to date 30 women on tv for money, you are a jackwagon. You just are. HA

Babs
Babs

Luke was not just a Jack Wagon for tracking the girl on Winter Games like crap and Ghosting her, He was a Jack Wagon more so because he had a girlfriend of a year named Holly Allen that he basically broke up with to go on Winter Games. He was obsessed with being the bachelor and it was 100 percent a game to him to get Instagram followers at any cost and to further his career as a want to be County Singer. Peter also broke up with a girl to go on the show and only had the dream of being the Bachelor in mind with the hopes of it propelling his modeling career. The more you see behind the curtain the more bummed you get. I think I love grocery store Joe so much because he did not apply nor was he supposedly “nominated “ for the show. They approached him in Whole Foods. I would also have liked Jason as the next Bachelor because at least he has some personality and a real job. Sorry for the vent!

KIm Z
KIm Z

Babs you nailed it. I concur!

Jaime
Jaime

My initial thought was, “How are they going to handle the fantasy suite?!?” I think he’s a good, solid guy, though vanilla is a good description.

Alicia
Alicia

I’ll take a good-looking, vanilla, stand-up guy any day over a man whore like Juan Pablo or Nick. I like him. Sean Lowe didn’t sleep with all of his women and he was one of my favorites.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth

Right, but Colton is no Sean Lowe. He’s just fake: he has issues with his sexuality that he needs to work out and he is fame hungry.

Anne
Anne

100% agree! You nailed it.

annie
annie

Colton is a man I’d be thrilled to have my daughter date. Runs a charity for kids, volunteers at hospitals, loves animals and seems to be good friends with the other guys. He was practically bullied into a relationship with Tia in Paradise. There was no way he had an honest chance with anyone else, she claimed him before he arrived. I’m really looking forward to a bachelor who doesn’t appear to be in it just for the Fantasy Suite time.

Sandy
Sandy

I totally agree with you Annie!!!

baseballmama
baseballmama

I am assuming they are going to let Tia show up to pee on his leg to show he belongs to her. She reminded me of a middle school girl that saw him first so he is hers. No one else would have been allowed. I always felt like he was sticking it out because he wanted to be bachelor.

Cassie
Cassie

I completely agree – as soon as he told Tia he was leaving I said to my husband, “he wants to be the next Bachelor” and sure enough. Yuck. I really can’t believe the producers chose him. I thought his polling would’ve been low. Yet, even on here there seems to be a 50/50 split between people loving him or hating him. I personally think there is something seriously wrong with him – red flags everywhere. He’s either emotionally unstable or REALLY good at crying/acting.

Kathy
Kathy

I’m personally disappointed that it wasn’t Jason, but if Colton can hook up with anyone except Tia, I’ll give it a try. And on a side note, why oh why do producers of BIP feel the need to interject boring past contestants into this show? Do we really need to see Janner’s and Carly/Evan’s babies on Paradise? Did Becca really need to show up to twist the knife into Colton once again? And I do believe that OHCH was more excited for the “live engagement” of Ashley Eye Lashes and Jared than anyone on the beach or sitting at home. Just my two cents.

Aimster
Aimster

So disappointed. First, that this “vanilla wafer” is the next Bachelor, second that it’s not Jason, third that he again broke it off with Tia for this franchise (but of course only after “giving it his all” after 3 days on BIP), and fourth, that we have to listen to months of him and others talking about a personal decision to still be a virgin. We didn’t listen to Sean go on and on about it, but we will with Colton. Eye candy, sure, but enough already. Don’t think I can watch him as the Bachelor and may have to stop watching the show after all these seasons, bummer! Well, at least we have your blog to keep us informed and entertained. Thanks for putting in the hard work and bearing through it all for us Lincee!

Elizabeth
Elizabeth

It really annoys me that the eye candy thing gives him a pass for his obvious issues and that they’re going ahead and making him The Bachelor.

Cassie
Cassie

I don’t find him attractive at all.

H H
H H

Agree. But I may find him unattractive because he reminds me of an emotionally-unavailable ex and I’m not attracted to blond and blue-eyed Norman Rockwell covers. His virginity is not an interesting topic and that’s the only thing that’s discussed about him. (About as interesting as Juan Pablo’s accent, or physique, which was the only thing that was discussed about him before he became the Bachelor.) He may not be as rude as Juan Pablo but he’s just as uninteresting. How about an intelligent and engaging Bachelor? An eloquent and mature one? Wait a minute… those guys know better than to participate in this mess!

Donna
Donna

I agree, I have never found him attractive. IMHO he does not come across as a genuine person either. Not excited about the Bachelor announcement at all.

delyla
delyla

I’ll probably get blasted for this – but I am completely over having him and his virginity crammed down our throats. I really won’t be watching the next season of the bachelor.
This guy is so confused about his sexuality that he cannot commit to a woman. He said it himself on BIP. He has commitment issues. This happens every time. I personally think he needs to have some men get out of the limo. Maybe then he will be able to find his person.

mikey
mikey

So bummed about Colton being the new Bachelor. Saw it coming last night when he broke up with Tia for no reason and I saw the promo for the GMA announcement. I don’t think I can watch a whole season of him and the constant smirk on his face. I was ALL IN for Jason.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth

Lol good use of the “all in” phrase that’s everywhere all of a sudden on BiP.

Aimster
Aimster

Yes! Everyone was “all in” this past week. What’s going on? It’s kinda like the “energy” everyone was using a few weeks back.

Anne
Anne

Literally his last words in the limo were “I’m broken”…fine. go fix your damn self THEN be the Bachelor? Gah. NO interest in watching this whiny babyman being bewildered by grownup feelings vs his broken-ness…barf.

Canadiana
Canadiana

I agree with everything you wrote, except the part about Colton ever being the Bachelor. I’ll have to have two couch cushions ready to hide behind, in case he, once again, feels the need to ask OHCH what he’s supposed to do in the Fantasy Suite(s). If the prospect of one Fantasy Suite night was overwhelming to him, I can’t imagine how he’ll deal with three.
Remember, Colton, “Fantasy Suite” isn’t synonymous with “sex”. You can use the one on one alone time for whatever you choose.

Cassie
Cassie

Yes! I actually might sit his season out. Never thought I’d say that, but the guy is a complete wackadoo.

Kirsten

1. yes
2. I think also yes, though I think Jason was campaigning hard in the final rose thingy.
3. who?
4. I just hope they stop talking about his virginity. Over it. Enough. Yay, go you! Now shut up. I liked his tweet that one time about how if he had an overnight date, it would have been amazing: movies and pillow fights. 😉 But seriously, the one thing they CAN’T do is have him give it up on TV. BECAUSE: GROSS.

Noelle
Noelle

Ok, so I’m probably way off base here but the fact that Colton flip flops so much makes me wonder if there isn’t some sort of inner fight going on. I didn’t get any indication that he’s gay but the man is all over the place. He’s putting on a front doing what he thinks he should be doing but doesn’t want to do it. Tia and football for example. I don’t know…..something just seems off to me.

Duckie
Duckie

Noelle, I agree that something seems off. He has chosen to retain his virginity, fine. I don’t need to know why, but the reasons he gives for it are as unconvincing as his wavering actions toward Tia. He doesn’t seem genuine and that makes me wonder what he is hiding.

MeM
MeM

He’s 26 (I think?). He hasn’t dated much. He is a little commitment phobic. He’s in that place where you think the possibilities of finding people to date are limitless. It’s not rocket science to me. He’s basically everyone in their 20s and 99 percent of the men of any age on Match, etc.

MeM
MeM

Oh, and he’s a people pleaser. It takes time to outgrow that kind of thinking.

Yesi
Yesi

Total people pleaser- he lacks the authenticity that would make him an enjoyable Bachelor. But he needs to figure himself and be honest with himself first. I have never been more bummed about a Bachelor choice. Say it ain’t so!

Elizabeth
Elizabeth

@Duckie, yes, this. He comes across as fake and until he puts in the inner work (doubt that’s happening before he’s The Bachelor) I don’t want to watch him.

Teagan
Teagan

Noelle I 100 percent agree with you. I feel the exact same way about Colton. He clearly has some inner struggle going on and until he figures all that out he’s no good to anyone. The guy also strikes me as kinda immature for his age. Oh, and he is definitely, without a doubt fame-hungry! So, so thirsty!

Paul
Paul

My wife has excellent gaydar and says Colton is definitely gay, though he hasn’t quite figured it out yet. This could be a very awkward Bachelor season.

BA77
BA77

I am so so so bummed that Jason isn’t the bachelor. I liked him early in the season, when he just seemed so level-headed and sincere. He would have been a FABULOUS bachelor. Bad move, Fleiss.

KIm Z
KIm Z

I’m wondering if Jason turned them down. He has a real job and I imagine the women lined up after his Bachelorette appearance.

Kimberly
Kimberly

I think the producers are looking for another Sean (after Nick and Arie both giving off a smarmy, kinda creepy vibe). They are trying to make it more “wholesome”. I like Colton but I was hoping it would be Jason, since I’m partial to him, as I have lived in Buffalo for almost 20 years and we could use some good publicity 😉 It will be an interesting season. I hope Tia does not come back – move on girl and have some pride. She should be thinking “Colton, you just lost the best thing you could have ever had!” As for Colton’s purity, I hope he continues to stick to his morals. That will make the overnight dates pretty interesting and boring at the same time. I’m certain ABC will start exploiting his wholesome and pure traits in their upcoming advertising campaign.

Dee
Dee

What a disappointing choice! I was hoping for Blake or Jason as the next Bachelor. Colton really seems insincere and not genuine. It was obvious to me that he came on Becca’s season of the Bachelorette just for fame/in hopes of becoming the next Bachelor, and I’m just not interested in him or his story. Definitely won’t be watching his Bachelor season, ugh. Bummer!

Elizabeth
Elizabeth

I totally agree. You summed it up.

Kay
Kay

This is SO DISAPPOINTING!! While not one to make assumptions about someone’s sexuality, Colton is clearly NOT like the other skirt-chasers that come on this show. Whatever his reasons for still being a virgin are none of our business, although I feel we are going to hear ALL ABOUT IT, ALL THE TIME in the coming season. Barf. Who cares!
I DO think Colton has some DEEP approval issues…I got a serious “Dad’s a Bro” vibe from his hometown on Becca’s season. It seemed he grew up with very high performance expectations. When Colton was interviewing on BIP last night, crying about how he’s “always tried to make everyone else happy, even in football,” I wondered how his dad felt about that. Yikes.
I hope he spends the next few months in counseling…and realizes that part of being the Bachelor is MAKING PEOPLE UNHAPPY…….!! Maybe he’ll back out and we’ll get JASON……one can hope! 🙂

Sincethebeginnning
Sincethebeginnning

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Trish
Trish

I have never been one to say I won’t watch it because I’ll basically watch anyone do this! But, this is a difficult one. I couldn’t stand him on Bach and BIP made it even worse for me. And someone explain to me how we can have a Bachelor who can’t even deal with his emotions or express how he feels? This is the most bummed I’ve been at an announcement. #teamjason

Julie Epsteen
Julie Epsteen

Exactly