Colton is the next bachelor
Well, in case you’ve been busy living life and, I don’t know, doing your job this morning, you may have missed that Colton is the next bachelor.
Yes, that Colton. The one who just left Tia on a beach bed in a pile of emotional turmoil, top knot astray with a drippy nose and big tears threatening the integrity of each individual fake eyelash.
Now some feel this is a good thing because Colton is pretty eye candy and he deserves love, just like anyone else who may have lived in that germ-infested L.A. mansion or on that crab-filled beach in Paradise. Third time’s a charm, right?
Not necessarily. As Nick Viall.
Colton was great on Becca’s season. I think he liked her well enough, but he still held a torch for Tia. Whether that is the reason Becca let him go is irrelevant at this point, because she is happily planning her wedding to Garrett right now somewhere in Minnesota.
In case you didn’t watch Paradise, Tia practically counted down the seconds until her beloved Colton bounded down the steps. They worked through a bit of a rift and he finally declared that he was ALL IN and vowed to give this relationship a shot.
A few days/weeks later (time is a mystery in Paradise), he claims his heart isn’t in it and he escorts Tia to a beach bed to talk about his feelings, her feelings, and how he wants to break up because she doesn’t deserve him and all his confused feelings.
The next thing we know, Michael Strahan announces him as the bachelor on Good Morning America.
Colton left me feeling “meh” after watching the After the Rose episode, where he acted like a jack wagon. But let’s say he just had a bad day. I’ll give him a pass. My problem is that he was equally as big of a question mark on Bachelor in Paradise. It took him a while to come around to Tia (again, that may have been producer driven) but once he did, he and Tia became one of the boring couples.
But I shouldn’t hold that against him. I love Grocery Store Joe and Kendall and we NEVER see them because they are too normal. Does that mean Tia and Colton were normal, too? Am I ambivalent about Colton’s announcement because I think he’s as exciting as a vanilla wafer?
I think I secretly wanted Jason to be the next bachelor and have just now processed through those feelings.
Bottom line: I don’t think Colton needs love right now. I think he needs a therapist.
- Did producers make a deal with Colton and tell him that if he broke up with Tia and left in the middle of the day, instead of a rose ceremony, they would give him the coveted position of bachelor?
- Did front-runners like Blake and Jason gently decline an offer to be the next bachelor? Perhaps they weren’t interested in the gig?
- What about gap-tooth Peter? Has his name ever been on the table? Or cowboy Luke Pell?
- And how will they handle Colton’s virginity on the show?
I’m anxious to hear your thoughts!