I apologize for being MIA the last few days. I’ve been dealing with disappointment and sadness. With that said, I’m so thankful that this little community provides me daily encouragement, laughs and needed distraction from life’s ups and down. Your prayers are certainly welcome, if you are so inclined.

Like I always say: “When life hands you lemons…add vodka.”

Moving on.

I love when I toss a question out there to the collective group of green beaners and you guys deliver. Thanks to everyone who took the time to Tweet, Facebook, email, Skype, call, text, stop me in the middle of church, Chick-Fil-A and the parking lot to comment on what they’d like for me to write about in the coming weeks. It’s been so much fun sifting through the possibilities!

Some of the questions are easily answered, so I decided to create a quick list. Others will need more time, dedication and a phone call to my mother to dig up incriminating photos. Apparently, my childhood is as funny to y’all as it was to me. Good times!

Until then, let’s get the easy stuff out of the way:

1. Will you ever write non-Bachelor related reality show recaps?

Dear Bri, Linda, Saggleo, Old Fan, Judy, SirkkaJ, Jeannine, Lisa, Jenn, Lindsay, Renee, Shannon, Janis, Meagan, Tracie and Heather:

Thank you so much for suggesting I recap Dancing with the Stars, the Real Housewives of Fill-In-The-Blank, Jersey Shore and other reality television shows. I’m flattered. But the idea of tuning in to see what anyone other than Our Host Chris Harrison is doing could quite possibly give me hives. Just thinking about it makes my stomach rumble, my left eye twitch and my throat thick.

I apologize if this makes you sad. Fear not. The Bachelorette is just around the corner. We’ll all be okay in May.

2. From Franziska: “If you had to choose between the bang braid or Ashley’s choice of tops, which would you rather?

Excellent question Franziska. Since I am not a person who normally shops at Build-A-Bear as Ashley is obviously inclined to do, I would probably rock the bang braid. Especially if I’m in a position in which I have lots and lots of time to kill. Behold…

3. From Eric: “What are the numerous benefits of wearing boxers and bib overalls?”

I would assume there’s one glaring benefit Eric. And that’s freedom. Of course, if you ditch the boxers, there’s even more freedom. I’m just saying.

4. From Tara: “Tank tops with scarves: yea or nay?”

Personally Tara, I think it looks silly. How can your neck be cold, but your arms not require covering? Clearly, the ubiquitous spring-colored scarf is more of an accessory in today’s society than functional piece of clothing. I put it in the same category as riding in a convertible with the windows rolled up.

5. Benson: “When fishing for catfish, is it better to use Catawba worms or chicken livers for bait?”

Benson. Naturally you would see me as an avid fisher woman. I admire that about you. The worms I purchase are called “night crawlers” and are sold on the shelf under the milk at the Chevron on the corner of Highways 450 and 80.  When I’m too lazy to drive the 10 miles into town, I’ll use a cricket. I’ve never used chicken livers but I have used what is called “blood bait.” It smells exactly like you would imagine. With a worm, you must cast and tease the fish. With blood bait, you remove the cork and just let it sit there until you feel the tug. And then this happens:

6. From Alison: “My husband just had a coughing fit and went and leaned on the railing above our basement stairs. Rather than sympathy, I could only think MESNICK!!!”

Ah yes. The old “Mesnick” that we all love to loathe. For those of you who didn’t follow the MOST DRAMATIC season in Bachelor history, Jason Mesnick had a thing for crying on balconies.

Which was later adopted and slightly modified by Jake “the D-Bag” Pavelka:

I’m quite positive Hotter Than Crap Brad either succeeded or came extremely close to “pulling a Mesnick.” After a quick Google search, I couldn’t help but posting this:

This has nothing to do with pulling a Mesnick.  It’s just a wicked, sweet tat. And thanks Alison for digging up an oldie but a goody IHGB catch phrase. Here’s hoping your husband is still not forced to give himself the Heimlich as you laugh and point while he chokes on his own phlegm.

7. From Paula K: “What blogs do you have to read?”

Wow Paula! I love your enthusiasm. There are so many blogs that I follow, I’ll just narrow it down to a few that I HAVE to read. That makes this process so much easier.

Some Guy in Austin
Go Fug Yourself
Suri’s Burn Book

8. From Jamie: “Where are the best places to drink Dr Pepper? By the pool? On an airplane? Rio?”

I’m glad you asked this question Jamie. The truth of the matter is that Dr Pepper tastes amazing wherever you drink it. Who can resist those 23 flavors of glorious goodness? Not me. Here’s the catch. You can’t get Dr Pepper just anywhere. I KNOW! IT’S APPALLING. For instance, rarely do airplanes have Dr Pepper. If you ask for it, make sure to witness the attendant pouring from the can. Airplane people will try to sneak you a Mr. Pibb in a heartbeat. Don’t be one of those casualties Jamie. My beloved Disney World does not serve Dr Pepper either. They have a contract with Coca-Cola and only provide those products at the parks. Most major arenas are the same way. I KNOW! IT’S INCONCEIVABLE. And don’t even get me started on how you can’t score a can anywhere north of the Mason Dixon line. Pepsi? Please.

So there you have it. This is just a little taste to what will be coming in the days ahead. I have a long list of other suggestions from readers. If you check back, I’m sure you will see yours come up!

Thanks for reading and sharing.  It truly blesses me to come here every day.