Dancing with the Stars recap: Season 23, Episode 7

Len is back and that means all of our contestants are nervous to perform in front of the crotchety judge. Could this be the reason why there were so many mistakes last night? Sure the “stars” had to learn TWO dances this week, but the tripping was almost like a bit. There must be something in the sparkling water they serve in the Glitterdome, because people, not excluding beloved television icons, were falling all over the place. And the scores reflected all the mishaps.

Tom announces that this is “era” week and all of the viewing audience scratch our heads in a collective, “What did he say?’ Erin, ever the professional co-host in a cut-out dress, enunciates “AIR-AH” with great aplomb. We still don’t get it. Tom comes to the rescue by spelling out the fact that everyone will be dancing from a different decade.

Ah-ha! Let’s get to the ballroom!

Laurie and Val
1960
Quickstep
“One Fine Day” by The Chiffons
Sweet baby Laurie has never been to prom and has no idea what it was like in the ‘60s. It’s a good think Val has an old lady on standby to help out. Marilu comes in to educate Laurie on the hippie/anti-government movement. Laurie looks at her dazed. Anti-what? Hippie who? Val puts her in an ice blue puffy dress, compliments her beehive and gives her a corsage because that’s what proper prom dates do. He chooses a nerd character, which is weird because the lyrics call for the girl pining after the boy. Details. I’ll give it a pass because Val is so darn adorable. When they take 30-seconds to play theatrics with the JV team at the beginning, I knew Len would hate this routine, even though it was chock-full of energy and a million quick steps. The judges are “meh” with the performance. Len thinks the steps needed to be quick rather than “in a hurry.” Val blames Len’s jet lag and claims “The ‘60s were about rebellion” when Carrie Ann docks him a point for a lift.
SCORE: 34

Cheryl and Ryan
1990
Rumba
“I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith
Poor Cheryl not only has Ryan to deal with, but she can’t even cover up the fact that the ‘90s don’t have a significant wardrobe associated with them. I supposed they could have rumba’d in flannel and overalls. That’s not very romantic unless you’re a Kurt Cobain fan. Cheryl lectures Ryan that he can’t just learn the move. He has to embrace the moment. That means he needs to be sexy. Cheryl invites his fiancé Kayla to help channel his inner Rico Suave. It doesn’t work. He looks constipated. Kayla loves it. To each her own. Cheryl does her best to seductively move up and down and around and up and down again against her partner who stands there with a restricted look on his face. When it’s Ryan’s turn to dip down and come up dragging his face against Cheryl’s boobs, I winched. You know those sequins hurt. The choreography is basic. Cheryl does a back bend four times. With that said, Len admires the fact that Ryan and Cheryl came out without any props or JV dancers. That’s the nicest thing that is said. Yikes.
SCORE: 28

Derek and Marilu
1920
Charleston
“Never Forget You” by Postmodern Jukebox
Marilu played Roxie in the musical Chicago once upon a time, so she totally knows how to be a flapper from the roaring ‘20s. The important thing is to be animated and covered with gold glitter. Bonus points if you can tap. Or pretend you can tap while your partner actually taps beside you. Marilu falls behind a few times and has a hard, odd facial expression that is more of the “what’s going on?” variety. She also seems very winded midway through the number. Carrie Ann deducs points for a lift (again) and everyone else berates Roxy for not being in sync with perfect Derek. They have the audacity to give her one more point that RYAN. I thought that was undeserved.
SCORE: 29

Calvin and Lindsay
1950
Jive
“Good Golly, Miss Molly” by Little Richard
Bad news: you can’t technically do lifts in the jive, so Lindsay agrees to keep both feet on the floor. She doesn’t want to give Carrie Ann any reason to deduct points. Also, she doesn’t want the world to think that the only thing in Calvin’s arsenal is his ability to flip her around like she’s made of straw. So she choreographs a wonderful routine with the JV kids and an old-time car from the ‘50s that delights everyone in the history of time. This big, huge man manages to be super quick and light on his feet. Lindsay looks like Beach Blanket Barbie. I loved the entire thing.
SCORE: 36

Maureen and Artem
1980
Tango
“You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi
Once again, Artem is super frustrated with Maureen because she can’t seem to pick up the steps fast enough. And once again, Maureen chooses to see her cup as half-full. She will embrace her ‘80s diva personality, licking her lips the entire way. It’s too bad she stumbles in the middle of the routine. I know she took that personally. It must have really felt like a shot to the heart (get it?) I bet she was distracted by Artem’s epic denim vest. I know I was.
SCORE: 28

Tera and Sasha
1930
Foxtrot
“Cheek to Cheek” by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
Terra is upset that she plummeted to the bottom of the leader board after her abysmal paso the week before. Sasha gives her a pep talk and promises that this week will be better. It has to be because the song is so good. As a connoisseur of ballroom dancing from days of yore, I absolutely love when couples foxtrot to this particular piece of music. It’s a classic. Sasha does a wonderful job showcasing Tera’s elegance. She sways around in her pink feather number like a champ. I do wish Sasha had ended with a cheek to cheek moment. It was still good.
SCORE: 34

Gleb and Jana
1970
Samba
“Get Down Tonight” by KC and the Sunshine Band
There’s trouble in Perfect Score Paradise. Jana is overtired and she’s taking her anger out on Gleb. Since she’s freaking out, Gleb decides to choreograph half of his samba as a theatrical performance with a bunch of JV girls doing their laundry at a washateria. Color me as confused as their psychedelic outfits. Not only do they not dance a samba, Gleb puts a lift in the routine! Then he gets in a fight with Len on how the theme called for theatrics! Oh no you don’t, Gleb. Don’t tick off the English man or you’ll be sorry!
SCORE: 34

James and Sharna
1940
Jitterbug
“In the Mood” by Glenn Miller
Apparently Sharna busted her knee moments before going LIVE on Dancing with the Stars. A little tendon pop can’t get this woman down. Although she does favor her knee a few times, James does more than enough to make up for it. His JV boys, dressed in ‘40s military uniforms, are awesome, but they don’t have glitter on their collar. It’s clear that this show is all about James’ spotlight. He flips and jumps and even catches (read: doesn’t drop) Sharna multiple times. He disappears in the routine, which is a good thing. G.I. James for the win!
SCORE: 36

Team Past
Maureen, James, Calvin and Ryan are all on a team together and Maureen couldn’t be more excited. It borders on annoying. The team BOLDLY chooses the Viennese waltz and it actually pays off. I think this is because they chose the theme song from Outlander. (Am I the only one that sings that song at the top of my lungs when I hear it? Siiiiiing me a song of a lass that is gone! Say could that lass be I!) Although the all claim to be struggling, the dance is pulled off with all sorts of twists and turns and lanterns in trees. It was nice. And to quote Len, “It was refreshing and brave.”
SCORE: 38

Team Future
Meanwhile, Tera, Marilu, Laurie and Jana are trying to figure out what the future looks like when it comes to dance. Tera immediately breaks down because she can’t move as fast or as far as the others. She knows that Sasha and Val speak about her in Russian and it kills her. There was so much packed in this routine. It was lyrical and modern (on purpose) which eventually worked against the group, including that time Marilu bit it somewhere in the middle. Plus, their facial expressions were a look that translated, “I’m bored.”
SCORE: 35

With seconds left in the show, Tom and Erin quickly announce that Maureen and Jana are in the bottom two. Before she could even react, Tom lets Maureen know that she is no longer part of the bunch. It is time to go home. I agree with this decision.

What did you think about this week’s performances? So many mistakes! Did you think the group performances were mediocre? Who is the one to beat right now? Sound off in the comments section!