Don’t judge, but the Rudolph TV special makes me cringe

Let the record show that I love this time of year. I take great joy in hauling out the holly each December, proudly displaying my impressive nutcracker collection and keeping Starbucks in business by purchasing one white hot chocolate a day. I have more Christmas music on my iTunes that I care to admit and will sprint to stand under any mistletoe that hangs within a mile radius of where I stand. No, that does not make me desperate. That makes me jolly.

So there I was last night, rolling my eyes at the Victoria Secret “fashion show” that kept popping up as I flipped through the guide menu on my DVR when I noticed it. CBS was featuring “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Naturally, being the Christmas enthusiast that I am, you would probably expect me to put on my flannel snowflake pajamas, wrap up with a box of those glorious Pepperidge Farm miniature gingerbread men and settle in for the festivities.

Well…you’re wrong. My name is Lincee and I can’t stand the classic television special Rudolph.

Before you revoke my “Merry Christmas” card, let me explain. The character of Rudolph is great! The red nose, the guiding of Santa’s sleigh…all admirable qualities in a reindeer if you ask me. But the enchanting 1964 program that is featured multiple times on multiple stations during the holiday season definitely bugs me.

First of all, claymation totally creeps me out. And it’s not just this particular show. I don’t know why, but everyone from Gumby to Wallace & Grummet gives me the heebie jeebies. Perhaps I’m too compassionate and my subconscious can’t let go of the fact that at any moment, these clay figures could be destroyed just like Mr. Bill? Could it be something about their lack of fluidity that makes me uncomfortable? It’s a mystery really.

Another thing that is annoying is Rudolph’s voice. The dude who recorded that day definitely needed a tissue. Or they should have waited for him to get over his obvious cold. Surely they weren’t going for the “pinched nose” vibe. And don’t get me started on what he sounds like when they put coal on his nose to cover up the bright red light. I found myself sitting on my couch, clearing my throat for no reason. Is it just me? Or is Rudolph a little bit whiny? Look, I get that he’s been banned to the land of misfit toys and is stuck with a rather rambunctious prospector with a scary abominable snowman monster chasing him, but is that really means for such high pitched complaining? I think not.

You know how everyone has that sound that makes them cringe? For some, it’s nails on a chalkboard or cracking of knuckles. For me, it’s when Rudolph’s nose goes off. That sound makes me curl into a ball and rock back and forth in the fetal position. I think a gentle hum or bell ringing would have been a better choice than the dying gasp of a honking goose.

I promise I’m not Scrooge and would challenge any one of you to a Christmas movie quote-off. But you have to agree with me. Surely you think Rudolph bugs, right? Someone? Anyone?

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24 Comments on "Don’t judge, but the Rudolph TV special makes me cringe"

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Laurie
Laurie

love that claymation creeps you out too! the first christmas that my husband and i spent together (14 years ago) i would not watch any of the claymation christmas specials with him bc claymation scares me. he could never understand why and i could never explain it. he’s just come to accept the fact that it creeps me out and he leaves me alone about it (with the occasional good-natured jab). i am glad to know that i am not the only one who can’t watch claymation without having nightmares. 🙂

Lorr
Lorr

oh Lincee…we have finally found something that we disagree on. I too am a Christmasaholic. I can recite word for word A Christmas Carol, Linus’s speech in a Charlie Brown Christmas and the words to every song in Love Actually (ah Colin Firth…but I digress). Rudolph and his stupid voice and the land of misfit toys ARE Christmas! How do you feel about the Grinch…the original, not the stupid Jim Carey version. Rock on Christmas sister!

Sarah
Sarah

But…it’s Burl Ives!! How can you reject Burl Ives!??

Lorr – Saturday is my annual “watch-Love-Actually-and-wrap-gifts” day. Love Actually – NO BETTER MOVIE!

HB
HB

The rudolph movie traumatized me in pre-k. I would cry if anyone even sang Rudolph the red nose reindeer song. Which happens a lot in December. So for our school christmas show- they removed me from the stage while the others sung rudolph the red nose reindeer- and then returned me to the stage with dry eyes after. I still haven’t seen the whole movie- I’m told it’s not that scary- but you’ve convinced me to keep boycotting.

Lorr
Lorr

Sarah…too funny, I have one of those days too but it is the 11th! Happy Wrapping!

LG
LG

i thought i was the only one…not a fan either.

Lindsey
Lindsey

Amen Lincee. The Rudolph TV special is easily my least favorite thing about Christmas!! Glad to know I’m not alone 🙂

Tiffany
Tiffany

I’m full on board with you Lincee, but I may not help your cause.

I have a VERY hard time finding any Christmas themed movie that I enjoy. I even dislike A Christmas Story. I know I will probably need to ask forgiveness for that one.

Lisa
Lisa

Oh how could you…. its Rudolph!!! You did make me laugh out loud and make Diet Pepsi come out my nose! Happy Holidays!

AmyA

i laughed so hard i snorted. i’d never knock it publicly…since it is a classic, but in my heart i agree with you. love your writing.

Jess
Jess

You’re too funny! I can’t say Rudolph really bugs me, but that special has never been one of my favorites. If a Christmas season passes and I haven’t caught it, it’s not a travesty. Not like it would be if I didn’t watch Elf, Love Actually, the animated version of the Grinch, or Frosty the Snowman at least once (and by once I mean 10 times).

Katie
Katie

Oh my…can’t agree on this one. Such great childhood memories are attached to Rudolph and the island of misfit toys! I love when this classic comes on every year!

Le Sigh
Le Sigh

I’m a die hard Christmas enthusiast too. I love love love Christmas movies – but I HATE Rudolph! For all the same reasons you listed. His voice. The nose. The weird claymation movements. Ugh. It’s the only Christmas movie I will not watch.

Barchbo
Barchbo

I love Rudolph, only because I love Hermie and Yukon Cornelius. Not only is Rudolph a nasal whiner, all of the reindeer seem to have personality disorders.

Catherine
Catherine

I totally agree!!!

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