Everything’s coming up roses
We are in the home stretch ladies and gentlemen. The Bachelor starts on MONDAY! I have my handy dandy clicker counter that will help me keep track of how many times Our Host Chris Harrison reminds the lovely viewing audience that Jason was DUPED at the Home Depot proposal pedestal by the evil DDAHnna Pappas who now holds a permanent place in Bachelor history IRONICALLY beside her evil DUPER Hotter Than Crap Brad Womack.
How’s that for a run-on sentence? You know I love them…
In keeping with the tradition, each year I take a quick peek at lineup of Bachelorettes and decide who I think Jason will take with him in the first round based strictly on looks, age and occupation. Because let’s face it…that’s all he will be judging from too.
I’ve narrowed it down to the four below:
This is Jackie. She’s 26, lives in Dallas and appears to be cute as a button. One red flag that Jason might have against her…she’s a wedding coordinator. Of course, Jason is in touch with his feminine side, so he may find that extremely convenient if he wants to promote Jasonopoly, the “look how far we’ve come in our relationship” board game.
Jillian is 29. She’s closer to Jason’s age and more than likely hears her biological clock ticking away. As an interior designer, her time is probably her own and she can pretty much work from any location. Her side pony tail is questionable. But I’m willing to take a chance on this girl.
Lauren is a teacher from Florida. Teachers like kids. Jason has a kid. Lauren will like Ty, therefore, Jason will like Lauren. It’s all about the math really. However, she is a blond. That may be a problem.
Megan is 25. Funny, because she looks older than that to me. But she’s also a single Mom which makes her more mature than other 25-year-olds. She is a coach which will bring out the competitive spirit in Jason. He likes to do push-ups on benches and kayak. Match made in heaven.
So what’s your take? Head over to abc.com and check out the bios. Let me know if there’s someone that sticks out to you as a potential mate. Are you guys pumped?
Let the melba toast commence.