iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray http://www.ihategreenbeans.com Tue, 22 Jul 2014 12:41:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=403 Bachelorette Andi: The ultrasound technician tells all http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-men-tell-all/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-men-tell-all/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2014 06:05:51 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5908 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Most of you know I watched the Men Tell All episode with Some Guy in Austin. I’m proud to say that we both rolled our eyes at the same parts, laughed at the other’s jokes and cheered when we noticed that Dylan had finally washed AND CUT his hair. Mrs. Some Guy joined me behind […]

The post Bachelorette Andi: The ultrasound technician tells all appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Most of you know I watched the Men Tell All episode with Some Guy in Austin. I’m proud to say that we both rolled our eyes at the same parts, laughed at the other’s jokes and cheered when we noticed that Dylan had finally washed AND CUT his hair. Mrs. Some Guy joined me behind a couch cushion during the creepy/stalker moments and now I’m writing from the most comfortable guest bed known to man. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Since I am technically on vacation, I decided to recap using Twitter and Facebook posts. I’m pretty confident with that decision since these were the only notes I took after watching two hours of men telling pretty much nothing we didn’t already know:

- Harrison looks hot
- Ashely’s boobs
- Live ultrasound?
- It’s a boy!
- Seriously, those boobs.
- I’m going to count the scarves.
- Wait…this is a bit. Everyone has a scarf.
- The Farmer refused to knot his scarf.
- Andrew controversy.
- Cookie pin?
- Marcus, Pants Guy and Random Guy I Can’t Remember all wearing red pants!
- Marcus, Marquel, Farmer all in hot seat.
- She’s totally a plant from the audience.
- Dylan likes blonds and isn’t ready for marriage.
- Josh lied twice.
- Alexis Colby Carrington

Men Tell All is traditionally boring, so my list is technically all you need to know. But in case you want more, here are the most popular posts from last night. Feel free to use them to help fill in the blanks.

LIVE ULTRASOUND
Ashely and JP took up 30 minutes of the entire show to share with America Ashley’s boobs the fact that they are moving to Miami! Huzzah! They also cut a slit in the side of Ashley’s dress to do an ultrasound on live television. She’s having a boy!

u1

u2

u3

u4

RED PANTS

Three different guys decided to channel their inner Ames and wear red pants. This seemed to set the social media scene a twitter. So we Tweeted.

red red 1

red1

red 2

MAN SCARVES

All the men wore scarves when Our Host Chris Harrison introduced them. And even though this was a gag, another fashion trend emerged.

1

2

ANDI IN THE HOT SEAT

Andi may have worn a sequined top as a dress last night, but she certainly looked great. She was in the hot seat for five seconds before heading out to a super secret door marked “private” where Our Host Chris Harrison gave her a note (legit 8th grade college ruled notebook paper note) from one of her guys. It was supposed to be ominous, but it was ridiculously staged. Did I mention that I miss Ames?

1

2

HIDING BEHIND SEAT CUSHIONS

ABC planted a girl in the audience to “interrupt” Our Host to tell him that she sort of kind of liked The Farmer. Harrison brought her down to the hot seat and suggested they speed date during the commercial. I may have choked on my own tongue and probably have permanent eye damage from shoving my fingers in the sockets.

1

2

That about sums up the night. There was a lot of pimping out of the new Bachelor Paradise show that starts in two weeks. I found it odd that the new Bachelor wasn’t announced, which makes me think that the next Bachelor is somehow connected to this germy spin-off. Something fishy is definitely going on.

Of course, it’s going to be fabulous and I can’t wait!

The post Bachelorette Andi: The ultrasound technician tells all appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-men-tell-all/feed/ 20
‘Bachelorette Andi’ Men Tell All http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-men-tell/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-men-tell/#comments Mon, 21 Jul 2014 16:23:20 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5905 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

It’s Men Tell All tonight people! Get pumped. Hopefully these men will tell all of what they were thinking about the following: 1. What was the deal with the scarves? 2. How did we go an entire season without a hot tub scene? 3. Does Our Host Chris Harrison really smell like power tools, lemon […]

The post ‘Bachelorette Andi’ Men Tell All appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

It’s Men Tell All tonight people! Get pumped. Hopefully these men will tell all of what they were thinking about the following:

1. What was the deal with the scarves?
2. How did we go an entire season without a hot tub scene?
3. Does Our Host Chris Harrison really smell like power tools, lemon grass and respect?
4. When Andi wore denim panties, did that spark Daisy Duke flashbacks?
5. Those times that Andi said, “Sttaaaaaauuuuupppp.” Did you ever respond, “Goooooooooo.”
6. For contestants participating on Bachelor Paradise, did you get your shots yet?

I will be Tweeting during the show tonight, although it will not be live. I’ll be about an hour behind. Feel free to join me! Those Tweets that make me laugh out loud will be featured on the website tomorrow! And for those who don’t Tweet, feel free to Facebook or email me.

Yes I’m asking you to do my recap for me because I’m on vacation! Woo hoo!

See y’all tonight on social media!

Lincee

The post ‘Bachelorette Andi’ Men Tell All appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-men-tell/feed/ 2
See anyone we know? http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/time-worked-bachelor-paradise/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/time-worked-bachelor-paradise/#comments Fri, 18 Jul 2014 23:02:35 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5901 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Who will fall in love in paradise? #BachelorInParadise premieres Monday, August 4 at 8|7c on ABC! pic.twitter.com/i7t54qpRrq — Bachelor in Paradise (@BachParadise) July 18, 2014

The post See anyone we know? appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

The post See anyone we know? appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/time-worked-bachelor-paradise/feed/ 2
Slink’s Links http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-9/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-9/#comments Fri, 18 Jul 2014 13:44:15 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5899 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

If you didn’t check out either of my Entertainment Weekly posts this week, I’d love for you to give me a click. It’s even more entertaining if you read them after the click! But there’s no pressure. Here’s the one for Covert Affairs. There’s a shirtless guy in that click for you. And here’s the […]

The post Slink’s Links appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

If you didn’t check out either of my Entertainment Weekly posts this week, I’d love for you to give me a click. It’s even more entertaining if you read them after the click! But there’s no pressure. Here’s the one for Covert Affairs. There’s a shirtless guy in that click for you. And here’s the one for Welcome to Sweden. Ron Burgundy makes an appearance in that one. Fun times all around.

This list of useful websites will take you a while to explore. Make sure your boss isn’t around when you start clicking.

Like everyone else in the world, I think this will be my favorite tampon commercial of all time. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, prepare to be blown away. In a good way. (PS: Before this one, I didn’t really have a favorite tampon commercial to compare with an all time list. I feel like I needed to make that clear.)

Did you know that there was a competition known as the American Ninja course? Me neither. But this girl just dominated it! Please watch the entire thing. She is a big beast in a tiny package!

I’ll be live Tweeting the “Men Tell All” episode of The Bachelorette on Monday night with this guy. I have a feeling I will be hiding behind A LOT of couch cushions.

When I was in fourth grade, I won the Citizen Bee award and was called up to the podium in front of the entire school. Of course the principal looked at my uniquely spelled name and enthusiastically instructed “Linky Ray” to join her on stage. I looked around for the foreign exchange student who was lucky enough to win such a prestigious award and was quickly ushered out of my seat by my teacher.

Needless to say, Linky stuck through high school, morphed into Slinky and was later shortened to Slink. To this day, a handful of people call me Slink, including my high school friend Julie, my niece and everyone standing around my niece at any given moment because she has never heard of this stranger named Lincee.

The post Slink’s Links appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-9/feed/ 2
Why I stood up twice during ‘Covert Affairs’ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/stood-twice-covert-affairs/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/stood-twice-covert-affairs/#comments Wed, 16 Jul 2014 22:05:44 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5894 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Here are the two reasons you should be watching Covert Affairs. 1. McQuaid 2. Oded Fehr McQuaid is a regular. Oded pops up every now and again. They were BOTH featured last night. Click here to see which one was shirtless!

The post Why I stood up twice during ‘Covert Affairs’ appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Here are the two reasons you should be watching Covert Affairs.

1. McQuaid
covert-affairs-nic-bishop

2. Oded Fehr
oded-fehr

McQuaid is a regular. Oded pops up every now and again. They were BOTH featured last night. Click here to see which one was shirtless!

The post Why I stood up twice during ‘Covert Affairs’ appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/stood-twice-covert-affairs/feed/ 0
Bachelorette Andi: A picture recap is worth a thousand words http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-recap-picture-worth-thousand-words/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-recap-picture-worth-thousand-words/#comments Tue, 15 Jul 2014 13:13:32 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5863 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

I hope that adage is true, because this season’s forgo card fantasy suite episode was a SNOOZE FEST. Instead of boring you with plebeian details of Andi’s attraction to two boys and her affection for one manly farmer, I decided to evaluate the night using amateur photos taken with my iPhone. Let’s start at the […]

The post Bachelorette Andi: A picture recap is worth a thousand words appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

I hope that adage is true, because this season’s forgo card fantasy suite episode was a SNOOZE FEST. Instead of boring you with plebeian details of Andi’s attraction to two boys and her affection for one manly farmer, I decided to evaluate the night using amateur photos taken with my iPhone. Let’s start at the very beginning.

Andi arrives in the Dominican Republic. I know it’s the Dominican Republic because she told me a least a dozen times in the opening montage. It’s the perfect place to fall in love, wear a side ponytail and narrow down her dating life from a trio to a duo.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.25.26 PM

One suitcase. That’s all it takes. All she needs is a formal rose ceremony dress, 27 mis-matched bikinis, a pair of denim panties and several billowy tops. That should hold her for the next 48 hours for sure.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.26.21 PM

The first 15 minutes of the show were reserved for reflection time. Who is Andi? Is there more to Josh? Is Nick hiding something? Should The Farmer get dinner before he gets the boot?

These are things we must ponder before getting to the first fantasy date. Nick scored one-on-one time with Andi on a private beach. Naturally they have to take a helicopter to get there. And then this happened.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.24.41 PM

Those pesky Madonna mics always get in the way when trying to make out with someone in a helicopter. You’d think they would have figured that out by now. Nick is super excited because he’s never been in a helicopter before. They take in the scenery.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.23.55 PM

This shot resulted in a clever reTweet from Tracie who originally Tweeted Erin:

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.46.10 PM

My thoughts exactly my friend. Kudos to the ABC Intern for going above and beyond.

Nick and Andi spend the entire day on the beach. Andi thinks Nick has a hot body and reveals that their chemistry is so passionate, it’s like adult romance.

jim_halpert2

Huh. As opposed to teenage romance? Or did she mean adult romance novel? I’m not sure where she was going, but I felt confident that we were about to experience a “From Here to Eternity” beach moment. We did not. Instead, she quizzed him on heartbreak and I counted how many times he used the word “like” in his answer. He has surpassed Andi, with a record-breaking 47. I made that number up, but I’m confident it is close to accurate. MOVING ON!

After snorkeling, Andi and Nick head to dinner. Nick was wearing red pants.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.28.08 PM

Come on dude. Why would you even go there? Red pants are SACRED wardrobe territory. I give you Ames.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.56.10 PM

And I give you Ames.

amesbrownhimalayas-2772829919576820754

Where was I?

Right. Nick and his book. According to our red pant poser, one of the normal things to do as a guy from the Midwest pursuing a girl is to write her a story. I didn’t believe him for a second. So I asked the Twitterverse for confirmation.

Screen shot 2014-07-15 at 12.00.16 AM

And these were my two favorite responses:

Screen shot 2014-07-15 at 12.00.04 AM

Nick presents Andi with a story/book he wrote for her, complete with watercolor drawings of their fairytale. She LOVED every second of it. I fast forwarded every second of it. She rewards him with a kiss and then Nick pulls her away to a tree to tell her all the things that he loves about her, before wrapping up his epic monolog with a simple, “I love you.” She reciprocated by pressing him up against a palm tree.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.21.31 PM

You may recall, it’s her go-to move with Nick.

Picture2

She grabs his pockets. He grabs her butt. I grab the remote. Let’s move on to Josh!

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.20.40 PM

I’m sorry this screen shot does not adequately portray the ridiculousness of these shorts. You’ll have to trust me when I say they looked inside out.

Andi decides to take Josh around town so she can figure out if he has a serious side. They mingle with street vendors and one convinces Josh to purchase this:

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.18.31 PM

Josh smiles, take a shot mixed with this stuff and then speaks perfect Spanish to the vendors. Andi’s head explodes. ¡Ay, caramba! Muy caliente! She picks her jaw up off the ground as Josh drags her to the middle of the street to dance.

1. We all know Andi can’t dance.
2. How many times will they make her dance this season?
3. She doesn’t care as long as Josh whispers sweet Spanish nothings in her ear.

Andi takes Josh to a Dominican Republic version of a Little League baseball field. Since he knows the game, and he speaks the language, every one of the little boys in the entire village immediately fall in love with him.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.17.09 PM

I may have heard Andi’s uterus quiver.

Josh seals the “is he serious?” deal at dinner by telling Andi that she would be a great Mom and that he can’t wait to get married and have a family. She goes through the formality of handing him a skeleton key and the forgo card that was clearly NOT written by Our Host Chris Harrison so they can get to know each other better (read: test the accuracy of the Mamajuana.) The ABC Intern arranges for some fireworks to be set off just as they arrive at the fantasy suite. It’s the least he could do since Nick scored an entire day on a private beach.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.23.07 PM

Andi and Josh head to the pool.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.14.08 PM

Note: Your teeth should not be brighter than the Day-Glo trim of your swim trunks.

DATE THREE!

Screen shot 2014-07-15 at 12.24.04 AM

Note: Jeeps are hot. And anyone driving one is therefore hot too.

The Farmer pulls up to greet Andi and she hugs him with the affection of a distant relative who just gave her a savings bond at her bat mitzvah. This does not bode well for our farming friend.

They stroll down a path and find two horses at the end.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 10.22.27 PM

Andi, knowing what the date entails because she is the bachelorette, has chosen her white pair of denim panties and a reconstructed oversize scarf as her wardrobe of choice for this endeavor. The Farmer helps her up on her horse and gives her basic Riding 101 before traveling the countryside to take in the local agriculture.

Let me be clear. This:

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.23.07 PM

is not even in the same vicinity as this:

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 10.35.01 PM

That’s a water buffalo by the way. I Googled it.

They arrive at the designated old log in the middle of nowhere for their picnic. Andi talks about how wonderful his family is and that she loved meeting them. And then for some unknown reason, The Farmer suggests they play Ghost in the Graveyard.

While Nick was doing this:

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.21.31 PM

And Josh was doing this:

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.16.12 PM

The Farmer was doing this:

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 11.28.58 PM

Poor guy.

That night Andi takes him to bed. Literally.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 10.30.32 PM

She eases in to the conversation by asking what was his favorite part of the day? “GETTING CHIGGERS!” I screamed at the TV. Not so much. Instead The Farmer eloquently tells Andi that he’s in love with her and she is the one for him. She in turn says that he is not the one and it’s not because of Iowa. It’s because she’s just not feeling it from a foundation level. She can’t get her head and her heart on the same page.

The Farmer appreciates and respects her honestly. It’s harvest time and he needs to get back to the farm. That corn isn’t going to pick itself. He graciously leaves. No dinner. No hot tub. No tree kissing. Nothing.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 10.24.17 PM

He was this close to crying in the rejection limo, but he held it together. I’m quite confident he will be the next Bachelor if he wants the gig.

Andi puts on her flowiest hot pink caftan and hooks up with Our Host Chris Harrison in the makeshift Pier One Bureau room/veranda the last 15 minutes of the show to rehash the previous hour and 45 minutes. Long story short: if she had to do it again, Josh and Nick would be the final two standing.

The boys arrive in their island casual attire. Josh is sweating buckets. Nick is planning the last two chapters of his story. And both get roses from Andi.

Screen shot 2014-07-14 at 10.26.15 PM

That would have been The Farmer’s rejection dinghy. It’s a good thing she let him go the night before.

And then there were two. Remember, this is a spoiler-free zone. Who do you think she will choose next week? Will Nick get to finish his adult love story? Should Josh lay off the Crest White Strips for a few weeks? Do you think The Farmer will be the next bachelor? Is it possible for Andi to wear denim panties three weeks in a row? We shall see!

The post Bachelorette Andi: A picture recap is worth a thousand words appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-andi-recap-picture-worth-thousand-words/feed/ 102
Forgo cards and fantasy suites http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/forgo-cards-fantasy-suites/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/forgo-cards-fantasy-suites/#comments Mon, 14 Jul 2014 14:40:39 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5859 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

I just watched this sneak peek from tonight’s Bachelorette episode: If The Farmer rides up beside Andi and rescues her from a runaway horse, I will stand up and cheer. I guarantee it. Remember this is a spoiler-free zone, but if you had to guess who is going home tonight, who would you pick? I’ll […]

The post Forgo cards and fantasy suites appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

I just watched this sneak peek from tonight’s Bachelorette episode:

If The Farmer rides up beside Andi and rescues her from a runaway horse, I will stand up and cheer. I guarantee it.

Remember this is a spoiler-free zone, but if you had to guess who is going home tonight, who would you pick?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I’ll be Tweeting the show tonight! Follow me at @Lincee.  #teamfarmer

The post Forgo cards and fantasy suites appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/forgo-cards-fantasy-suites/feed/ 7
Slink’s Links http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-8/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-8/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2014 13:34:25 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5857 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

I started writing for a new show on Entertainment Weekly. It’s called Welcome to Sweden. I have a ton of IKEA and meatball jokes, ready to go! You can read my recap here. #clickclickclick I received this link from my friend Some Guy in Austin. Let the new “Hey girl…” pregnancy memes. My favorite is […]

The post Slink’s Links appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

I started writing for a new show on Entertainment Weekly. It’s called Welcome to Sweden. I have a ton of IKEA and meatball jokes, ready to go! You can read my recap here. #clickclickclick

I received this link from my friend Some Guy in Austin. Let the new “Hey girl…” pregnancy memes. My favorite is the third one!

And my friend Rose sent me this link via Facebook. Brian Williams writing a bachelorette blog? I’d totally read it.

Which kid from the Harry Potter series is all grown up now?

While other kids were out partying in college, I was in my apartment watching That Thing You Do. I loved the Wonders/Oneders and I affectionately to this day still call them the Oh-need-ers. Here are 21 facts you may not have known about the movie! Amy I the only one who owns this DVD? And VHS? And soundtrack?!

When I was in fourth grade, I won the Citizen Bee award and was called up to the podium in front of the entire school. Of course the principal looked at my uniquely spelled name and enthusiastically instructed “Linky Ray” to join her on stage. I looked around for the foreign exchange student who was lucky enough to win such a prestigious award and was quickly ushered out of my seat by my teacher.

Needless to say, Linky stuck through high school, morphed into Slinky and was later shortened to Slink. To this day, a handful of people call me Slink, including my high school friend Julie, my niece and everyone standing around my niece at any given moment because she has never heard of this stranger named Lincee.

The post Slink’s Links appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-8/feed/ 6
Covert Affairs, recaps and the real Nic Bishop http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/covert-affairs-recaps-real-nic-bishop/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/covert-affairs-recaps-real-nic-bishop/#comments Wed, 09 Jul 2014 14:14:28 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5847 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Some of you may know that I am now covering Covert Affairs for Entertainment Weekly. There was talk that it might be difficult for “my voice” to be translated when writing for a drama since I traditionally handle reality shows and comedies. Say hello to Nic Bishop who plays McQuaid on Covert Affairs. He’s like […]

The post Covert Affairs, recaps and the real Nic Bishop appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Some of you may know that I am now covering Covert Affairs for Entertainment Weekly. There was talk that it might be difficult for “my voice” to be translated when writing for a drama since I traditionally handle reality shows and comedies.

Say hello to Nic Bishop who plays McQuaid on Covert Affairs. He’s like James Bond, but funny. That’s my sweet spot. In fact, I Tweeted about it this morning:

And seconds later, this happened:

Screen shot 2014-07-09 at 9.10.37 AM

Y’all. That hot dude in the picture smiley faced me. HE SMILEY FACED ME! And it’s a special smiley face too. It’s blushing because The Real Nic Bishop is probably in touch with his emotional side and thinks it is important to connect with his fans.

Don’t tell me I’m reading too much into this. I want to ride this high at least until lunch.

What you can do is go over to my recap by clicking HERE and telling me what you think about “my voice” in a drama recap. I’ll go make sure Nic is ready to be added to my Hall of Fame.

The post Covert Affairs, recaps and the real Nic Bishop appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/covert-affairs-recaps-real-nic-bishop/feed/ 6
Bachelorette recap: Andi takes a ride on a big green tractor http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-recap-andi-takes-ride-big-green-tractor/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-recap-andi-takes-ride-big-green-tractor/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2014 13:34:40 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=5837 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

I picture Old McDonald sooooo differently now. Am I right? I can’t believe we are eight weeks in the season ready for hometown dates. Andi is so lucky that every single one of the four men she has left are unbelievable guys who would make perfect husbands. Of course, Marcus would make a perfect husband […]

The post Bachelorette recap: Andi takes a ride on a big green tractor appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray -

Screen shot 2014-07-08 at 7.32.49 AM

I picture Old McDonald sooooo differently now. Am I right?

I can’t believe we are eight weeks in the season ready for hometown dates. Andi is so lucky that every single one of the four men she has left are unbelievable guys who would make perfect husbands. Of course, Marcus would make a perfect husband for someone other than Andi, but we’ll get to that, and the most awkward, random, bizarre, oddly timed strip tease in the history of the world later.

Sclemeel! Schlemazel! Let’s head to Milwaukee!

SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. However, if you or someone you liked on Instagram happen to personally know, sort of know, is friends with the twerking instructor of someone who is obsessed with the fictional life of Jamie and Claire Fraser like me and looks exactly like one of the contestants on the show…none of this is personal and I’m sure they are all lovely people.

First Hometown Date
Nick
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Screen shot 2014-07-08 at 7.21.29 AMNick is excited to introduce Andi to his family. But before they do that, he takes her to a busy marketplace and makes her wear a cheese hat on her head. Then they skipp their way to a brewery that serves a special Nick and Andi beer.

Nice move Nick! You’re gonna do it! Give him any chance, he’ll take it. Give him any rule, he’ll break it. He’s gonna make his dreams come true! Doin’ it his way.

Andi loves that she gets to see Nick in his environment. He’s more relaxed, fun and outgoing! And he teaches her to dance polka! You know, the dance which originated in Wisconsin.

FACT CHECK: “The polka is a Central European dance. It originated in the middle of the 19th century in Bohemia.”

Wikipedia does not lie people. Here’s hoping Nick was being sarcastic or had some sort of weird allergic reaction to the combination of the oom-pah music and a spazzed out bubble blowing machine.

Nick reminds us that he has 10 siblings. What he didn’t tell us is that they would all be sitting on or around the couch waiting to meet Andi right as she walked through the door. There were hugs, kisses, tears and introductions all around. The eldest sister has her doubts. I have my doubts about her wearing what is essentially a swimsuit cover-up as a dress, but to each her own. She basically makes Andi promise not to break Nick’s heart.

Next up is the youngest sister Bella. And by youngest, I’d guess that this little munchkin was about 10-years-old. She asks Andi what she likes most about her brother? Andi answers that she thinks they have a great mental connection and then explains in certain detail exactly what that phrase means. It was clear as mud to Bella.

Then Bella asks if she loves her brother! Andi chooses her words wisely and says that Nick makes her very happy and he is soooooo amazing. Nick arrives later to follow-up on Bella’s recon. She said that she didn’t remember Andi’s answer to her first question (me neither kid) and that when she asked Andi if she loved Nick, she said yes.

Worst game of telephone ever.

Nick gets the green light from his mother after he admits that he’s the favorite among the four (confident much?) and then Andi names all 10 kids in order using photographs on the wall as a guide. Lawyered. Then they make out in the driveway for 20 minutes.

Nick: I’m pretty sure she knows I love her. It’s so hard to say goodbye.
Lincee: To yesterdaaaayyyyyayyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Second Hometown Date
The Farmer
Somewhere in Iowa

The silver SUV (there are no black ones in Iowa) drops Andi off in the middle of a corn field where The Farmer is looking all sorts of hot in a plaid shirt and puffy vest. They are visibly and audibly excited to see each other. For one brief moment, I had hope for The Farmer. Could Andi take him through to the next round? Will she find a life as a homemaker in Iowa?

According to Andi, the fact that he had his own actual house with bedrooms that didn’t look like a bachelor pad was a definite mark in the win column. The fact that he told her to look around and that everything she saw was family land was another mark in the win column.

Screen shot 2014-07-08 at 7.33.31 AMBut the home run was when he took her for a ride on his big green tractor. When he offered for her to take the wheel, she chose to sit on his lap verses switching seats. That was a mark in The Farmer’s win column.

He takes her on a picnic after plowing the back 40. He explains that he can’t leave the family business in Iowa. He’s the only man (three sisters) and he can’t make a life for himself anywhere else. He understands that this could be a deal breaker, but he wants to let Andi know that she should be happy wherever she is at in life. The fact that she even considers seeing his side of the world is an honor.

Gen-tle-man.

She asked what kind of work is in Iowa. Valid question, but in this day and age, she could do anything she wanted. I think he told her she could be a homemaker because he knows that she wants kids one day and that’s basically saying, “You don’t have to work if you don’t want to.”

Translation? The Farmer is doing just fine in the money department thankyouverymuch. #suckitJosh

Andi: I’m not as city as you think. I mean, my family has a lake house.
Lincee: [sigh]

Just as things are winding down, a plane flies over with a sign that reads “Farmer loves Andi.” She and those watching with me squealed at the sweet gesture.

You go Farmer.

PS: I love that he ALWAYS offers her his arm when they are walking together. CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD I TELL YOU!

Screen shot 2014-07-08 at 7.44.59 AM

Time to meet the farming family! The three sisters give their brother a hard time, telling stories about how he never wore underwear when he was a kid. They also make sure to share that he’s a really good businessman, an entrepreneur and is sensitive, generous and humble. His Mom sees that her son is falling in love, but is more concerned about the problem at hand: what will Andi do if she moves to Iowa?

Mama tells both her son and Andi that there are no limits for a woman on a farm. She can do whatever she wants. You want a career? Get one! You want a baby? Birth one! If you love someone, it doesn’t matter where you live. The final bit of advise that Mama leaves with Andi is this: “When they get out of that tractor…woo! It still makes my heart stop.”

You go Farmer’s Mama!

The last order of business is a friendly game of ghost in the graveyard. Apparently one person goes outside and hides somewhere in the thousand acre farmland. The others scatter, looking for said person. Once you find the original person, you stay hidden with them. The Farmer was sent out first and chose to hide behind what looked like a water heater.

Andi: I found you!
Farmer: You’re so smart!
Lincee: Uh…she just followed the camera lights dude.

Andi and Farmer make out until the first sibling crashes their party. Once the final sibling finds the group, it’s time to go. The Farmer tells Andi she’s the missing piece in his life and instructs her that after she leaves, she must come back.

TEAM FARMER!

Third Hometown Date
Josh
Tampa, Florida

Who wears short shorts? Well it’s not Andi. She prefers denim panties. By the time I get that image out of my head, Josh and Andi are at his former minor league team’s baseball field. I think it’s high time to retire the old “baseball” date, don’t you? Besides, none can ever beat what we had with Roberto.

bachelorette-roberto-jersey

I miss Roberto.

Let’s not waste time with details. Here’s my beta recap: Ball throwing. Bat swinging. Ball hitting. Base running. Boobs bouncing. Bat breaking. The Natural humming. Sunflower spitting. Josh reminiscing. Andi pouting. Leg rubbing. Panty wedging.

They take a break on the bleachers and Josh talks about how his brother Aaron is going to be drafted by the NFL. Andi’s pouty face returns and she openly admits that she doesn’t want this time with family to be all about Aaron. She wants it to be about her Josh.

They arrive at his parents’ house and Josh immediately begins crying when he sees his Mom and his dog. It’s clear that this family bond runs deep. During dinner, Aaron makes a toast. He’s clearly prepping for on-camera interviews in the locker room for the Kansas City Chiefs. As soon as everyone clinks their glasses, Aaron dives in to everything Josh has missed, including Pro Day. Andi is not a happy camper, but she still holds hands with Josh during dinner.

Andi sits with the Mom and talks about how Josh is eventually going to have to cut the cord. Mom does not feel that way. Josh will be watching Aaron’s games on weekends. It’s clear that this family does everything together and she can either get on board or not. With that said, she can tell that her son is falling for Andi.

The fact of the matter is that Andi could be a part of this family. She already looks like an older sister. Or a younger version of his Mom. Interesting…

The actual sister is brutally honest with Andi and tells her that more than likely they will fight about Aaron’s career and the family’s love for each other, but that’s what compromise is about. Once they have their own family, she’s confident things will change. Hello Voice of Reason!

Aaron lays it on thick at the end, telling Andi that he’s a grown man now and Josh can stop mothering him. It’s Josh’s time to be happy. Now let’s go play some football in the backyard so ESPN can have some footage for future Game Day spots!

Last Hometown Date
Marcus
Dallas, Texas

Marcus lives in the uptown portion of Dallas in the fancy neighborhood of Highland Park. He picks up Andi in his Mercedes and takes her to an empty strip club where he proceeds to dance for her. He has chosen “An Officer, But Not a Gentleman” as his character. Love did not lift us up where we belong because this was the strangest, most awkward strip tease EVER. I have never been more embarrassed, appalled and unable to look away in my life. And I’ve watched this video several times.

I think the point where ABC chose to blur out the front part of Marcus’ tighty whities was the point I had to fast forward through the madness.

YOU DO NOT GO MARCUS.

Of course Andi found this hot. I’ll take plaid with a vest over blurred tighty whities any day.

Screen shot 2014-07-08 at 7.32.49 AM

Marcus is looking forward to showcasing Andi, but when they arrive at the house, none of his family members jumped up to greet him as all the other families did. It’s clear that there is still some tension there. Both the Mom and the sister were surprised to learn that Marcus has shared his story. I think this was more of a “oh crap what did he say on national TV?” shock more than anything.

But the moment Andi told his sister that Marcus deserves for her to catch up to him when it comes to how deeply he loves, I knew Marcus was a goner. She has too much mutual affection with the other three and if she hasn’t caught up now, she’s not going to.

Another moment that made me feel squishy with Marcus was when he told his brother how grateful he was that he took the time to raise him. I thought it was odd that he chose that time out of all the times available in a day, to share. It felt generated. Blech.

Marcus tells her that he loves her a dozen more times before she leaves to head back to LA for the rose ceremony.

But instead, the four guys and our bachelorette head over to Our Host Chris Harrison’s house for a special announcement.

Side Note: Harrison’s house could use a woman’s touch. I’m just saying. Call me! I’ll be in Iowa stalking farmland!

You can tell that the four dudes have no idea what’s going on. Harrison makes them sit in silence until Andi gets there. When she arrives he tells them that Eric passed away. I expected The Farmer to reach over and hug Andi, or at least put a consoling arm around her shoulders. He didn’t. Josh was trying to muster up some tears and Nick looked dazed. Marcus suddenly stands up and stalks outside. And of course, Andi follows to check on him.

Again. That felt very squishy. Something was off.

Andi makes him come back inside so they can “get through this together.” I respected that.

Then the camera dude puts the camera conveniently on the ground in the perfect angle to capture all the crew members coming in to hug everyone. This lasted about 10 seconds before I fast forwarded. It felt staged. I don’t care if this is reality and “life happened.” Squish-she. I believe this should have been a private moment.

Rose Ceremony
Andi arrives looking like a gorgeous mermaid from Oz in an emerald green dress. She has a heart-to-heart with Our Host and then studies photos on the Pier One Bureau. She heads out to the four waiting men, grabs a boutonniere and holds it (randomly) at chin level. She takes a deep breath, puts it down and returns to the Bureau. I can’t blame her for freaking out. It’s been 24 hours since she learned of Eric’s death and I’m sure she feels an array of emotions. Harrison comforts her as she breaks down. The tears were 98% for Eric and 2% for Nick’s dusty rose colored jacket.

When she returns, she hands roses to Josh, Nick and The Farmer. I may have stood up during that moment. Please, please, please let The Farmer be in a hot tub next week.

Marcus sits on the rejection bench and cries with Andi. She drones on for about 30 seconds too long before walking him to the rejection limo. He cries because he feels like an idiot. I roll my eyes because he’s probably going to be on Bachelor Paradise.

What do y’all think? I have I totally misjudged Marcus? Did you get a squishy feeling with him? Are you pumped The Farmer is in the final three? Do you think ABC is setting him up to be the next Bachelor like I do? Let me know in the comments section!

All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee

The post Bachelorette recap: Andi takes a ride on a big green tractor appeared first on iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray.

]]>
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelorette-recap-andi-takes-ride-big-green-tractor/feed/ 121