iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray http://www.ihategreenbeans.com Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:41:02 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 ‘Begin Again’ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/begin/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/begin/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:41:02 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6192 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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I recently received a text from my friend Blake asking if I had seen the movie Begin Again. He told me that if I had not seen the movie, I needed to stop whatever I was doing, get in my car, drive to the theater, buy a ticket and prepare to be transformed. Blake: I […]

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Begin Again

I recently received a text from my friend Blake asking if I had seen the movie Begin Again. He told me that if I had not seen the movie, I needed to stop whatever I was doing, get in my car, drive to the theater, buy a ticket and prepare to be transformed.

Blake: I don’t want to build it up too much, but you’ll thank me.

I immediately checked out the trailer.

They had me at Mark Ruffalo and Adam Levine.

Another text from Blake revealed that he had purchased the soundtrack the minute he left the theater. This was extremely valuable information since Blake is a walking deejay.

You see, Blake and I are like pen pals, but way cooler. We send mix tapes (read: burned CDs) back and forth from Dallas to Houston. In manilla envelopes. With stamps and everything. We’ve been doing this for years. You can learn a lot from a person by their thematic representation of a playlist, and I would trust Blake with my iTunes account any day of the week.

To sum up, Keira Knightly, Mark Ruffalo and Adam Levine star in a musical drama from the writer and director of Once. If that’s not enough, Blake endorsed both the movie and the soundtrack.

I was sitting alone in the theater in less than 48 hours.

As you probably gathered from the trailer, Gretta (Knightly) and Dave (Levine) are writing partners who move to New York City – the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Dave gets a record deal and Gretta is discarded. She has resorted to singing in tiny bars in the East Village. Fortunately, washed up ex-record producer Dan (Ruffalo) discovers her around bourbon number three and offers to record her songs, her way, with New York City as their live studio. Gretta transitions from skeptical, to hesitant, into full-blown trust throughout the movie. And so does Dan.

The idea of recording a live album at various landmarks in New York City is exactly as cool and crazy as it sounds. Knightly, Ruffalo and Levine pour their emotions into each scene and I was swept up into the moment right along with them. The film has countless themes, but I believe the story is about how we must deal with choices we made in the past. We must build on the circumstances that have been handed to us, good or bad, and create something beautiful, new and exciting. And I love that Begin Again uses music to get us there.

How many of you can think of a song that immediately sparks a memory? I have dozens of them. This movie takes us through an array of human emotions and gives us a sneak peek into the healing that can come from a simple melody or a powerful guitar riff. It uses music to celebrate, mourn, escape and restore. To quote Blake, “It’s a story of recovery, freedom and forgiveness and about the life-changing ability of music.”

Clearly we both give Begin Again two enthusiastic thumbs up.

Music gives us the ability to write our own soundtrack to life. May yours be full of calming classical moments, dashes of down home gospel, flashes of hard hitting rock-n-roll, bits of soulful blues and of course, New Kids on the Block greatest hits.

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‘Bachelor Paradise’ recap: I always feel like somebody’s watching me http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelor-paradise-recap-always-feel-like-somebodys-watching/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelor-paradise-recap-always-feel-like-somebodys-watching/#comments Tue, 19 Aug 2014 15:20:36 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6185 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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I know what you’re thinking. You settled in last night to fry some brain cells because it had been a long day. And instead of Bachelor in Paradise, you were served a rather large helping of Michelle Money in Paradise with a generous side order of Chris’s knee hurts. Remember my golden rule for watching […]

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I know what you’re thinking. You settled in last night to fry some brain cells because it had been a long day. And instead of Bachelor in Paradise, you were served a rather large helping of Michelle Money in Paradise with a generous side order of Chris’s knee hurts.

Remember my golden rule for watching this show dear reader. Look for the silver linings!

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Lincee’s Episode 3 Bachelor in Paradise Playlist — Only the Strong Survive

And I Love Her — Harry Connick, Jr.
In a nutshell, Marcus and Lacy have a real relationship that is based on a firm foundation of attraction for each other, embarrassment for their fellow tree dwellers and a love of waterproof/chlorineproof/oceanproof necklaces. That’s the main reason he gave Lacy his rose.

Lacy – The Time of My Life — Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
Lacy feels like she’s known Marcus her entire life. Everyone knows when you are that close to someone, the natural next step is to try and recreate the Dirty Dancing lift.

Not quite. Marcus needs to work on the move. Here’s a link to a training video.

I love finding an excuse to put that clip in recaps.

Okay, okay. Here’s the real thing. Watch and learn people. Watch and learn.

You Can’t Hurry Love — The Supremes
In one of the more entertaining montages of the evening, one camera follows Graham walking along the beach with Michelle Money, admitting AshLee’s tentacles are beginning to choke him. Then another camera features AshLee announcing her colors will be blush and bashful.

Graham: One day she just set the precedent that she’s with me. That’s very humbling and awesome, but also not really.
AshLee: I don’t want to waste anyone else’s time since I only like Graham.

Graham: I’m stressed.
AshLee: I’m sure that we will make it.

Graham: She even talked about me meeting her dad!
AshLee: My dad would be so proud of me that I picked Graham.

Graham: Yeah. She’s way ahead of me.
AshLee: Do you like my doily shorts?

AshLee finds a date card on her pillow. She runs to tell Graham the good news.

AshLee: This is why I came here. I have a connection with him. This is perfect. I can totally imagine myself living with him.
Graham: I know AshLee has feelings for me. There are issues we need to go over.
Lincee: Make sure to add “keep a close eye on my bunny” to that ever-growing list.

Wiggle It — 2 in a Room
At dinner, AshLee reminds Graham (in case he forgot) that she only came to Paradise because of him and her heart was set on the fact that she wanted a connection with him and only him. Graham wisely says, “But we’d never met before,” to which she replies, “I follow you on Instagram.”

Yep. That’s the same thing.

Graham decides that it’s safer for AshLee to just let her freak flag fly.

Graham: Outside of your breakdown [Clare asking him out] it’s been smooth sailing!

Graham tells her that he just wants to have a great time without any pressure and no “forever” talk. AshLee admits that they’ve been taking it slow long enough and now it’s time for the next step.

Enter forego night date card. This should be fun.

Graham says that it’s inappropriate to stay the night together, but he’s happy to stay up late and dance in the street. That’s when this happened:

No matter how hard I yelled and screamed in protest at the television, the scene kept unfolding before my eyes. AshLee wiggled her way into Graham’s arms and squished her lips against his as she writhed. She and Elise are a strange breed of woman that should be studied.

Graham admits that AshLee is not playing around and that all she has to do is move six inches to the left and six inches to the right to garner any and everyone’s attention. It looks like he kisses her back. They still go their separate ways at the end of the night. And I’d be willing to bet that this all ends with a panic attack and breathing into a paper bag in the back of an ambulance next week. And Graham is going to feel awful that he led her on since he gave her his rose at the ceremony.

Zack – Macho Man
The more Zack hangs around in the background, waiting for gentlemanly moments, the more I like him. He’s the one who always helped Chris up stairs and on the beach when he couldn’t walk. And he did a great job consoling Clare who was mourning the 10-year-anniversary of her father’s death. He seems to genuinely like Clare, so he gives her his rose.

The Sign — Ace of Base
What is the deal with this cast’s fascination with turtles? While Clare is praising Zack for being gentle, compassionate, strong, loving and genuine, she spies a huge turtle at the edge of the water laying eggs. She sees this as a sign from her father. A sign of new life! They aren’t in Paradise to hand out friendship roses. They are here to make babies. Obviously.

Later she arranges for a double date with Michelle Money and Robert. No, no. That’s not a typo. I meant to write Robert. You see, two minutes into the show, Michelle Money announces she is sexually attracted to Marquel. Then Danielle shows up and her emotions switch to “super I don’t know.”

Hmmm. I think Elise and AshLee have a pill for that. Clearly they are confident in what they know. Perhaps you can trade a date night hair style for one?

Clare thinks the best way for Michelle to get over Marquel (he’s so yesterday) is to go after Robert. He totally has a swing rose and who cares if Sarah is interested in him? If Michelle is super honest with Sarah, she can’t get mad about the double date. Read the signs! Robert is Michelle Money’s type.

Heads Carolina, Tails California — Jo Dee Messina
Too bad Michelle Money is not Robert’s type. The person you give your rose to is the person who remembers you told them a story about how you brought five blue shirts and had to borrow a sweet corral one from Graham. And that person is Sarah.

The Sweetest Thing — Juice Newton
Each season, there’s always a nice girl who just doesn’t belong in the cesspool. They never can understand why the boys don’t like them. They are constantly questioning their confidence and are often found alone and crying. I’m glad Robert gave her his rose and I have no doubt that he just wants to be friends.

Almost Paradise — Mike Reno
Danielle is the psychiatric nurse from Juan Pablo’s season. When she arrives in Paradise with a date card, she asks who is already partnered up? Michelle Money creates a new rule out of thin air: you must go with your gut without knowing any information about anyone. Pick the one you’re attracted to!

Immediately Clare flings her head onto Zack’s shoulder. Lacy was already sitting in Marcus‘ lap, plus they were holding hands speaking their secret language, so she knew that was out. AshLee’s eyelashes were replaced by daggers and a mental dare, scary enough to make Danielle think twice. And Graham was across the room!

She chooses Marquel. They explore nearby Campeche, pick flowers, moonwalk off the beaten path, strip down in a courtyard, swim, ask questions and almost get struck by lightning. All in all, it was a solid date and Danielle feels confident she will get Marcus’ rose.

Red Headed Stranger — Willie Nelson
Marquel and Danielle arrive back at the treehouse and everyone is contractually obligated to have a party out on the beach so the new contestant’s dramatic entrance can actually be considered dramatic. I thought walking through the sand in wedges was dramatic enough, but what do I know? Will she fall? Is she going down?

It’s Jackie from Sean’s season. Everyone thinks she’s beautiful and then immediately hate her for the date card she holds in her hand. The same rules apply. She must pick based on first impressions alone. And she picks Marquel.

This Kiss — Faith Hill
Marquel and Jackie explore the ruins that Robert and Clare explored on episode one. It was the exact same date, minus the ants. Marquel feels a spark with Jackie that he can’t explain, so he breaks his rule of never kissing on the first date. He tells her about the rule, explaining that he doesn’t typically do this and if she wants she can participate or she can back away, it’s totally up to her and now he’s going to go in for the kill and is she ready? It was the longest prologue to a kiss.

Marquel gives his rose to Jackie and Danielle is sent home packing a mere 24-hours after arriving. To quote the medical professional, “It wasn’t Paradise. It was Marq-hell.”

This is what it has come to people.

One Way or Another — Blondie
Elise lives in a strange world full of dream boards that encourage her to visualize her future. The problem is that her dream board is very fluid and she can go from visualizing her life with Dylan one day, and visualizing her life with Chris the very next. This concerns exactly everyone living in the treehouse. She politely thanks them for their concern and then rushes off to get ready for her overnight date with Chris who is “ready to get down and dirty” because “Elise has a bangin’ body.”

When the forego card arrives, Elise tucks it in her bosom to keep safe. She wants to put it on her dream board because their names look soooooo good together. Chris wants to skip through the boring stuff because “he’s so horny.” Elise attempts to dip a toe in the non-bubbling hot tub as I wondered if her emerald green sequin bikini would discolor in the water. Also, isn’t it itchy?

Elise: I came here to find a boyfriend. And a husband.
Lincee: And now you have herpes! Victory!

Walk This Way — Aerosmith
Chris somehow torn some meniscus in his knee while in the ocean. He tells us every chance he gets that he’s in a lot of pain. As someone who tore their ACL in Cuba (salsa dancing of course), in a country where there isn’t any ice, plus a five hour plane ride back to Houston, I sort of get why he’s complaining.

Knee

To which I reply, “Suck it up.”

He sucks it up long enough to forego card with the bangin’ body and then he heads to the hospital. Elise proudly wheels him out in a wheelchair, teetering in her four-inch heels and Zack carries him to his bunk bed. Elise is a caretaker and can’t wait to fetch ice for him all day long. Then she’s going to fetch a 2×4 and a sledge hammer!

Elise: This such good training. We might be in the hospital together some day.

Chris is the last to hand out rose at the ceremony and no one is surprised when he calls Elise’s name. He tells her that he can’t give her the rose, because he’s leaving (due to an injury–you may not have been aware that he hurt his knee?) and he wants her to go with him.

She responds with the enthusiasm of a girl who just received an engagement ring instead of a girl who has been in a three-day relationship with a notorious franchise villain. Everyone pities her behind her back. Then Chris whips up some tears and gives his rose to the one person who deserves true love. Michelle Money.

Roar — Katy Perry
Michelle Money has the eye of the tiger. She’s a fighter. She’s dancing through the fire. She is a champion, and you’re going to hear her roar.

I think her rose deserves a slow motion celebration.

I hope you enjoy this week’s playlist!

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Friends lift each other up http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/friends-lift/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/friends-lift/#comments Mon, 18 Aug 2014 16:09:32 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6182 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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What will your verse be? http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/will-verse/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/will-verse/#comments Sat, 16 Aug 2014 16:49:20 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6173 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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#104995322 / gettyimages.com Robin Williams passing has stuck with me. It wasn’t until I scrolled through Twitter hashtags, trending Facebook messages and countless video tributes that I realized how many wonderful pop culture sound bites were contributed by this very talented man. My transitional Robin Williams moment was in high school. My eccentric senior English […]

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Robin Williams passing has stuck with me. It wasn’t until I scrolled through Twitter hashtags, trending Facebook messages and countless video tributes that I realized how many wonderful pop culture sound bites were contributed by this very talented man.

My transitional Robin Williams moment was in high school. My eccentric senior English teacher played Dead Poet’s Society in class and for the first time in my life, I considered embracing my love of the stage. This was indeed an odd concept for a closeted introvert. I was equal parts dance lover and academic nerd who hated math. I was a polite, respectful rule follower who completely came out of my shell when presented with a beautiful piece of choreography or One Act Play script. When Williams’ character Professor Keating tells his classroom full of people pleasing students, “No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world,” I sat a little straighter.

Mrs. Lee was a hundred years old, looked like the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella and taught exactly one honors English class at Hallsville High School. She also completely believed with all of her heart that she could correctly predict the future. We all loved her. She encouraged those of us with a creative streak to approach our studies in unconventional ways. For example, Mrs. Lee gave us a choice when it came to tests. We could either take a written one or turn in a video depicting all the lessons learned from the piece of literature. WHO DOES THAT? My friend Julie and I were approached by two brilliant classmates (Gene and Adrian) to see if we wanted to team up and submit our final on Pygmalion as a video. I can still remember Julie yelling at the horses in the pasture next to my house, “COME ON DOVER! MOVE YOUR BLOOMIN’ ARSE!”

We may have thrown some My Fair Lady references in there for comic relief. And Mrs. Lee loved every second of our masterpiece.

She encouraged us to look at our lives through a different lens. She knew we had potential and that a great big world was out there just waiting for us to make our mark. She gave us permission to be ourselves and freedom to branch out a bit beyond our comfort zones. I had no idea at the time, but her entire class was a lesson on carpe diem. For a bunch of kids from a one red light town, this was an extremely important part of our education.

Professor Keating: “The world is their oyster. They believe they’re destined for great things, just like many of you. Their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem. Seize the day boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”

Mrs. Lee helped us to consider the possibility of making our lives extraordinary. And it worked. I think back to all of my friends in that class and smile at the phenomenal things they are doing with their lives. I’m so glad that Gene was compassionate enough to arrange for a proper send off during the final exam on our last day in Mrs. Lee’s class. One-by-one, we all stood on our desks and saluted her with a heartfelt, “Oh Captain, my Captain.” I still get a little teary thinking about it today.

Dancing may not have been my career path, but that’s okay. This is my stage. Words are my life and I find great comfort in Professor Keating’s charge to his students:

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love — these are what we stay alive for. You are here – life exists. The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

If you’re hurting, please find someone to talk to. USA Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255.

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Slink’s Links http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-12/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-12/#comments Fri, 15 Aug 2014 19:37:03 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6167 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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1. Covert Affairs is getting good. Check out my Entertainment Weekly recap by clicking HERE. Even if you don’t actually read it, make sure you scroll down to look at the animated GIF. Trust me on this one. 2. I had no idea that BOP magazine was still in circulation, but rumor has it that […]

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1. Covert Affairs is getting good. Check out my Entertainment Weekly recap by clicking HERE. Even if you don’t actually read it, make sure you scroll down to look at the animated GIF. Trust me on this one.

2. I had no idea that BOP magazine was still in circulation, but rumor has it that it won’t be soon. Little girls everywhere will have to find other ways to hang up locker posters of their favorite teen icon. Question: Who is the current day Joey McIntyre and do kids even have lockers anymore?

3. Do you need a Matthew Crawley fix? (I know. Who doesn’t?) Well here you go!

4. I’m unsure why the people on this subway are not freaking out more. Lord knows I would have jumped on in, pretending I was in the cast. I’ve had this show memorized for years!

5. I attempted to follow the directions on this link. I sort of nailed it. I softly tapped it?

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When I was in fourth grade, I won the Citizen Bee award and was called up to the podium in front of the entire school. Of course the principal looked at my uniquely spelled name and enthusiastically instructed “Linky Ray” to join her on stage. I looked around for the foreign exchange student who was lucky enough to win such a prestigious award and was quickly ushered out of my seat by my teacher.

Needless to say, Linky stuck through high school, morphed into Slinky and was later shortened to Slink. To this day, a handful of people call me Slink, including my high school friend Julie, my niece and everyone standing around my niece at any given moment because she has never heard of this stranger named Lincee.

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Annie and McQuaid…sitting in a tree http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/annie-mcquaid-sitting-tree/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/annie-mcquaid-sitting-tree/#comments Wed, 13 Aug 2014 13:10:46 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6164 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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You can read all about it on my Entertainment Weekly recap by clicking HERE! You know how I love a good love story… It's happening! #AnnieExposed http://t.co/DFYnpeA4zn — Covert Affairs (@CovertAffairs) August 13, 2014

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You can read all about it on my Entertainment Weekly recap by clicking HERE!

You know how I love a good love story…

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‘Bachelor Paradise’ recap: YOPO is not going to happen http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelor-paradise-recap-stop-trying-make-yopo-happen/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/bachelor-paradise-recap-stop-trying-make-yopo-happen/#comments Tue, 12 Aug 2014 13:41:37 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6150 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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Brutal and sad. These are the two terms that kept racing through my mind as I sat motionless watching this tremendous waste of time. My notes aren’t that much better. When the entire page consists of the words putz, REENACTMENT, hot Harrison, short denim overalls, oiled up, long lost Hemsworth brother, sponsored man necklaces and […]

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Bachelor Paradise

Brutal and sad. These are the two terms that kept racing through my mind as I sat motionless watching this tremendous waste of time. My notes aren’t that much better. When the entire page consists of the words putz, REENACTMENT, hot Harrison, short denim overalls, oiled up, long lost Hemsworth brother, sponsored man necklaces and about a million bless her hearts, the recap doesn’t look very promising.

It’s times like these that you throw a Hail Mary pass and just hope for the best.

Lincee’s Episode 2 Bachelor in Paradise Playlist – The Rejection of YOPO

Free Fallin’ — Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The first five minutes of the show was by far the most entertaining part of the entire night. Our Host Chris Harrison takes us on a journey that ends in tragedy. A hilarious, random, YOPO tragedy. Crazy Michelle chose to leave the show last week because she was hooking up with a crew member with whom she shared an adjoining room at the hotel. There were several reasons why Michelle fell for this guy, two of which were “he got me floss” and “he hand picked flowers for me.”

You shouldn’t neglect your gums people.

Harrison was sent to talk to Michelle about this infraction and she slammed the door in his face.

Bachelor Paradise

Harrison sighs, knocks again and tries to talk to Michelle a second time. She yells at him. He rolls his eyes. Then she lets a producer in, who obviously is wearing a microphone, and she gets cocky when the producer tells her she is contractually obligated to talk to Harrison.

Michelle: “He’s just the host.”

Messy Bun Lauren, who is labeled a “cast handler” is then interviewed. She and a blurry man (ten bucks it’s the ABC Intern) actually reenact the next moment as if we are all watching Unsolved Mysteries.

Bachelor Paradise

Lauren knocked on Michelle’s door because she and the ABC Psychotherapist are in charge of the rejects. Michelle answered the door wearing only a towel. Lauren asked who was in the room with her and Michelle freaked. Lauren went down stairs to presumably tattle when she heard a thump fall from above.

That thump was production guy Ryan Putz (P-U-T-Z), who unwisely estimated the gap between the balcony and the ground at about six feet. Turns out, it was 25 feet.

Bachelor Paradise

I like to call this the Transcendent Mesnick. They are rare, but clearly exist.

Purz was rushed to the hospital with two broken ankles. Lauren laughed the entire time she was telling the story. She’s my new favorite person on this show.

I Only Have Eye(Lashes) For You — The Flamingos
Even though AshLee’s eyelashes grew 12 inches over night, we didn’t hear much from her this week. Never fear. Her freak flag flies next Monday when she presents Graham with the wedding scrapbook she’s been working on for the last 15 years.

Hot in Here — Nelly
I love how the franchise has made Graham the official greeter when new folks arrive on the island. He’s also the official commentator. “Graham, can you give us a quick rundown of what’s going on?”

Bacahelor Paradise Graham

I’ll tell you what’s going on. Graham is securing his rose from AshLee because he’s just so darling.

Hold My Hand — Hootie and the Blowfish
Marcus has taken to holding Lacy’s hand at all times. And when Robert is within a five-mile radius, he insists on kissing her while holding hands. Robert is not taking it well and neither am I.

Can’t Help Falling in Love — Elvis Presley
Lacy doesn’t even remember who Robert is and is completely smitten with her hairy chested lover. So she gives him her rose.

Someday My Prince Will Come — Snow White
Clare is not feeling a connection with anyone on the island. Just when she’s about to give up all hope, Villain Chris saunters into the treehouse unannounced as always. Even though every person warns her that Chris is a womanizer, she lets him lube her up with oil during a couples massage so she can decide for herself if he’s a d-bag. She starts to consider falling for the jack wagon when she spies him humping Elise in the ocean two hours later. She wanders off to vent to find her raccoon friend.

Whatta Man — En Vogue
Suddenly Zack (who?) appears and Clare is back in the game! He asks her out on the date and she is super excited because she’s half Mexican. Ay, caramba! They talk about their pheromones (oh dear), she wears a statement necklace in the water (please) and then she said she felt a connection with Zack when she had her legs wrapped around him in the ocean. Then she winked and laughed in case you were too bored to catch that obvious innuendo. That connection landed Zack Clare’s rose. (That’s not a sexual innuendo by the way, just so we’re clear.)

Drink On It — Blake Shelton
Marquel told Michelle Money that he thought she drank too much. Considering he appears to be passed out most of the time, I thought that was a bold statement. Especially since the entire premise of the show is built on a foundation of tequila shots, whiskey sours and Corona chasers. Marquel is funny.

Gypsies Tramps and Thieves — Cher
Not as funny as Michelle’s chain headdress, but close. I’m not sure why she was in the hot tub fully clothed either, but I’m just going to go with it. Double M is by far my favorite character on this show and I hope they dedicate a rose pedestal or hot tub in her honor when the L.A. mansion becomes a museum one day. I wonder if Marquel kept the rose she gave him because she is and will always be Bachelor royalty.

Live Your Life — T.I. featuring Rihanna
When Elise starts talking about Pices’ propensity to love Scorpions until the day they die, Dylan decides it’s time to cut the umbilical cord. He tells Elise that she should get to know other people. She loves this idea because it’s means they are super connected.

Dylan: She’s smothering me.
Elise: I’ve never felt more in love.

Dylan: If you wanted to go on another date with someone, it wouldn’t bother me.
Elise: He’s scared of how real this is getting so fast.

Dylan: You should meet other people. Go. Meet. Now.
Elise: He’s pushing me away so I can come back to him. That’s sweet.

You’re Still the One — Shania Twain
After yelling at Elise for that entire exchange, I’m reluctant to watch what happens next. She puts on her tiniest bikini which is like chum to Villain Chris. He follows her out into the ocean where they make out for all the world to witness.

The next day, Michelle asks Elise if Chris would be someone she would pursue if Dylan wasn’t in the picture.

Elise: It doesn’t matter. I love Dylan. I’m going to tell him I kissed someone. It will be a hard conversation, but it needs to happen so we can go ahead and get beyond this bump in the road.

Dylan is not pleased that Elise kissed someone else, even though he technically told her to get out there and experience the treehouse dwellers. He uses this as an excuse to break up with her. Only she doesn’t know that they broke up. She thinks the best way to handle the current drama is to visualize things working out.

Dylan: Do not offer me your rose.
Elise: What are you saying?

Dylan: I will not accept your rose.
Elise: Sooooooooo…

Dylan: We are friends. I don’t want your rose.
Elise: Just be honest.

The look on Dylan’s face was priceless when Elise, of course, offered him her rose.

Bad Medicine — Bon Jovi
It’s a good thing Villain Chris was determined to sabotage the Dylan/Elise romance, even though he had no idea that there technically wasn’t an actual romance to sabotage. When Elise’s rose was rejected by Dylan, she recited a long, rambling, confusing speech about how “life brings you a lot of things in ups and downs.” Then she lovingly offered her rose to Villain Chris.

Swingin’ — John Anderson
Sarah was surprised when Dylan received a date card and asked her instead of Elise. Elise, of course, found this entirely charming for some reason and was thrilled that he picked her best friend to take on his date. Dylan was as nice as he could be, praising Sarah for being so sweet and kind. He really wants to get to know her better. I fist pumped the air when Sarah, knowing she had the swing vote, chose to give her rose to Robert instead of Dylan.

Lucky — Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat
Robert barely made it this week and even stooped to sniffing around Michelle Money to try and get her on Team Gale. I will continue to think of him as Liam Hemsworth as he lives to see another week. Turns out the odds were in his favor.

Robert Bachelor Paradise

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme Song
Ben is a jack hole. That’s all there is to it. Marcus “found” a love note in Ben’s Ninja Turtle backpack and showed it to Marquel. The boys confronted Ben about this note and he admitted that he met a girl three weeks before the show started. Clare eavesdropped on the conversation and then reported to the rest of the group. They stampede the treehouse shouting, “NOT HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS!” and carrying pitchforks. Michelle Money sobbed that she left her nine-year-old daughter to find love! WHY WAS HE HEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEE?

He decided that moment that it was time to leave and officially said goodbye to Hollywood.

I decided that moment to turn off the television to read a little Shakespeare in order to build back a few of my brain cells I lost in those two hours.

I think we both made wise decisions.

Enjoy this week’s playlist!

All about the fame, not the shame,

Lincee

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Thank you Sassenach. Truly. http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/thank-sassenach-truly/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/thank-sassenach-truly/#comments Sun, 10 Aug 2014 21:07:14 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6136 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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A couple of years ago, I asked the collective IHGB community to share some of their favorite books. The response was exciting! Knowing that I was a sucker for a good love story, several participants suggested I read the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. I was immediately hooked by the epic love story of lead […]

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A couple of years ago, I asked the collective IHGB community to share some of their favorite books. The response was exciting! Knowing that I was a sucker for a good love story, several participants suggested I read the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. I was immediately hooked by the epic love story of lead characters Jamie and Claire.

I remember calling my sister, imploring her to stop whatever she was doing at that moment so she could start reading Outlander immediately. She told me she had already read the book and I had to fight feelings of irritation that she didn’t think to share this news with her beloved sister, champion of all things involving epic romances.

My sister: “I didn’t think it was appropriate since you were in junior high when I read it.”

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THIS BOOK HAS BEEN IN THE WORLD ALL THIS TIME AND I NEVER KNEW IT?

Then I took a silver lining approach. Most of you have been waiting forever for Diana Gabaldon to find someone who could bring her intriguing world and characters to life. It only took 20 years, but she finally found a writer and director to shepherd her baby along.

And I believe they did a phenomenal job. Ronald Moore took Gabaldon’s words and created a seamless script. Bear McCreary’s score is exquisite. And after only one episode, I have no doubt that Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan are going to effortlessly bring Claire and Jamie to life.

Some of you are already rolling your eyes, assuming that Jamie Fraser is going to be another Noah Calhoun in my life. To that inference, I will respond with a simple, “Yes. Yes he will.” Sure Sam Heughan is ridiculously good looking in a unbelievable sort of way and I actually debated last night if bloody Jamie was equally as hot as non-bloody Jamie, but that’s not my point.

Claire endears herself to Jamie within minutes of meeting him. She heals his wounds, she doesn’t cower before him, she tells him when he’s being a jack wagon and figuratively lifts him up without even trying. Jamie is fascinated.

In the actual world where I live, I don’t have a “Jamie” in my life. I like the idea that a man may one day find me captivating. I’ll do something he translates as extraordinary. I will think this is odd because the moment felt rather ordinary to me. There will be intrigue, trust, respect and he will make a vow to himself that I will be his priority from that day on.

Those who rolled your eyes are rolling them again, blessing my heart and my head which resides in the clouds. And that’s okay. I understand your concern for my rose-colored outlook on married life.

I’m not ready to say I’m okay if I never get married. That’s actually a rather ginormous falsehood and terribly inaccurate. I don’t think I’m alone when I confess that I sometimes fear that some other girl shoved Jamie’s dislocated shoulder back in its socket and he became transfixed with her instead of me because I stopped to tie my shoelace. But then I remind myself that there is no Plan B — there’s only Plan A.

If and when a Scottish man in a kilt looks me in the eye and thanks me for being me, I’ll be ready to go wherever the horse leads.

Unless it’s the 1740s. I’ll need a little bit more time to prepare myself for that.

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Slink’s Links http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-11/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/slinks-links-11/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2014 21:07:18 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6131 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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Happy Friday everyone! Here are a few links to get you to the weekend. Enjoy! I would love for you to check out my Welcome to Sweden and Covert Affairs recaps over at Entertainment Weekly! I’m having a blast writing for them, and would love to hear what you think! Or you could just click […]

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Happy Friday everyone! Here are a few links to get you to the weekend. Enjoy!

I would love for you to check out my Welcome to Sweden and Covert Affairs recaps over at Entertainment Weekly! I’m having a blast writing for them, and would love to hear what you think! Or you could just click it and go about your business. Either way, I still love you for the support. Truly.

I am OBSESSED with all things Misty Copeland. Then I saw this commercial and the obsession grew. Chills upon chills.

Need a little pick-me-up today? Click here. You will not be disappointed.

Here are a few online dating profiles from your favorite literary characters! Brilliant!

I received a message from IHGB reader Jess who has a wonderful little autistic community of followers on her Facebook page. She wrote a sweet piece about Paper Clouds Apparel on her personal blog and is hoping to increase awareness for the company and the cause. Check out her blog HERE and feel free to LIKE the Paper Clouds Apparel Facebook Page HERE.

When I was in fourth grade, I won the Citizen Bee award and was called up to the podium in front of the entire school. Of course the principal looked at my uniquely spelled name and enthusiastically instructed “Linky Ray” to join her on stage. I looked around for the foreign exchange student who was lucky enough to win such a prestigious award and was quickly ushered out of my seat by my teacher.

Needless to say, Linky stuck through high school, morphed into Slinky and was later shortened to Slink. To this day, a handful of people call me Slink, including my high school friend Julie, my niece and everyone standing around my niece at any given moment because she has never heard of this stranger named Lincee.

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Real men wear kilts http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/real-men-wear-kilts/ http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/real-men-wear-kilts/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2014 01:25:52 +0000 http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/?p=6128 iHateGreenBeans | Blog of Lincee Ray
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Outlander

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