Gimme

I’d like to write, “It’s been one of those weeks where nothing goes right and I feel like the world is stacked against me.” But that statement is inaccurate.

You see, I’m not really sure how it’s January 21. I’ve been on the struggle bus for many, many months now, unable to get my feet completely under me. I’ve lived a reactive life for a while now. Sure, I have my to-do lists and my handy calendar full of tasks that require my immediate attention, but I never can seem to catch up in order to properly organize my life in a proactive way that makes me feel good about what I’m doing.

My little world has many balls in the air. I understand that I’ve chosen to juggle many things, and I typically find complete joy in doing so, yet lately I’ve noticed that things I really, really care about are going unchecked in lieu of other things. Would you like an example?

I love writing my personal newsletter. There are several hundred people who took the time to sign up and say, “I’d like to hear other stuff you think about, Lincee.” That in and of itself floors me. It’s so very cool. But I’ve found myself pushing that wonderful task to the bottom of the stack because I don’t have time to do it justice. There’s an article to write that has an immediate deadline or a show to recap that has an immediate deadline or a chapter to turn that has an immediate deadline or a Bible Study talk to prepare that has an immediate deadline.

Don’t get me wrong. I love to write for Entertainment Weekly. I still can’t believe a publisher wants to print another book of mine. And I will always feel the power of God when I stand on a stage and bring His word.

But it’s the important little things that get tucked away for a later date. I see them and I think, “I’ll get to you soon! Hang in there!”

Guilt typically washes over me soon after I realize that it’s been months since I distributed a newsletter or posted something non-Bachelor related. The guilt comes from a weird place. I consider my website to be my greatest creation, yet I easily neglect it and the community we’ve built around something as silly as hating green beans.

When you’re a writer, and your name is Lincee Ray, you compare yourself to other people in the business to see how you’re measuring up. You see you’re no different on the outside. Everyone has balls in the air. Everyone is talented. Everyone lets you know how great they are doing on social media.

This is when “the gimmes” come for me.

I get all panicky and try to kick it into overdrive, demanding that things happen NOW. Let them laugh at my words. Let them be entertained by my craziness. Gimme more time to make it better. Gimme a great idea. Gimme her great hair. Gimme a clever hashtag. Gimme what he has. Gimme a speaking gig. Gimme another book writing contract. Gimme…

What?

Applause? Praise? Accolades? Affirmation? Success?

Our church is studying the book of 1 Samuel and the other day, I saw myself as one of the Israelites who demanded a king. They looked around and noticed that everyone else was doing great with their kings and they shouted, “Give us one too!”

Samuel explained that it would not work out in the end. A king would take tax them and make them slaves. They would lose their children. The Israelites heard this and answered, “Sounds fabulous! Where do we sign up?”

Well, they got a king. And things did not go well. Just as Samuel warned. They had a king. They had THE KING. And they ignored Him.

This is when I learned that saying NOW to God is just as disobedient as saying NO to God.

The days are going to be chaotic for the near future. I accept that. I’m not going to get everything done the way I want it in the timeframe I want it. I accept that.

Instead of bombarding the Lord with an endless string of “gimmes,” I’m going to hold all things loosely. I’m going to try and extend myself some grace. And I will ask that He lead every minute of my day in the direction it needs to go.

Let the record show that this does not apply when I ask for Him to gimme strength in order to make it through an episode of The Bachelor. That’s completely different and totally allowed.

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Jen Clark
Jen Clark

Thank you for being honest and open about having too much on your plate! It’s a great reminder to the rest of us who do the same thing. Hang in there and do your best and enjoy the process…its easier said then done, but I applaud you for owning up to it!

SarahK
SarahK

Thanks for sharing. The juggling part makes me weary at times and that’s when I forget that Christ is the main thing in my life. And sometimes I just need to sit at his feet and listen.

Jenny
Jenny

Thanks for sharing about God in such a public way – I know you’re making a difference!

MeM
MeM

Thank you for this, Lincee. Really needed to hear it this season of life, too.

Mollie A
Mollie A

We could all stand to give ourselves a little grace. Thank you for reminding us that we’re all human. Happy new year, Lincee!

Hannah L
Hannah L

Man, did I need this. Came for a BachCap and got a fix of Jesus in my own overwhelming to-do lists. Thanks, Lincee!

Allia
Allia

Hang in there, Lincee! You are an inspiration. We all have times when we put too much on our plate. Thanks for the reminder that in those times what we really need is to slow down and reflect.

cathy
cathy

Beautifully written, as always. You are an inspiration to me!

Stark
Stark

Thanks for the reminder everyone has their own struggles! It is easy to see the picture perfect part of people’s lives, not the long hours and late night it takes to make that “perfect” happen. Just remember, you are someone we (as your readers) look up to and admire!!

Kay
Kay

Thank you for this!
In my drive for all things perfect, I’ve learned that God uses my weaknesses to “course correct.” What I value and strive to do perfectly may not always align with His plan for me. When I pile on too many things (which is often…)and feel that pressure, I pray He’ll help me weed out the things that truly keep me from His plan. I also pray for divine intervention because I don’t always want to let go of things…..but I realize that if I can’t give my best to something, maybe I’m not supposed to do it!

Erin D
Erin D

I normally just read your bachelor recaps. This one was amazing! Thank you for sharing.

Kara Kaess
Kara Kaess

Your words spoke to my heart. Thanks Lincee. I’m excited to read your new book. And I bought the other book you recommended by Emma St. Claire! I’m loving it!

Megan
Megan

Wonderfully said and a great reminder! Love you girl!