Day two in Israel.

We met Ruti today. She’s our tour guide. My friend Nancy Jane got a great pic of Ruti because words just can’t describe this woman. She’s AMAZING and makes the trip. We’ve also all adopted a Jewish/New Jersey accent. It’s like buttah.

If you ever have the chance to go to Caesarea, you should go. It’s absolutely beautiful! We sat in a real Roman Amphitheater that was being set up for a show. I convinced the group it was Guns-N-Roses. Some believed me. Clearly they don’t “get” my humor and sarcasm. This could be an issue down the road.

We also went to Mt. Carmel were Elijah issues his challenge to the false prophets. It overlooked Megiddo…the site of Armageddon. It was surreal to think of what will happen in that location one day.

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After Mt. Carmel, we ate lunch at a “restaurant” in the middle of nowhere. Nancy Jane was pretty sure that our friend Ruti is getting some kick backs because it was four people and bunch of falafa.

Then they took us to Nazareth. I was looking forward to seeing where Jesus grew up….walk where He walked. But instead, I got a fourth grade field trip to Nazareth Village. It was a fake village that resembled what the town would have looked like in Jesus’ time.

There was a grape smashing place, olive crusher, synagogue and museum that resembled my elementary school’s open house artwork of diorama scenes from Biblical times. It was special.

We were also promised live actors.

What we got was a man with a donkey and a woman sweeping. Later, the man with the donkey was Joseph the Carpenter…AKA…Jesus’ Daddy. Lady with olive branch broom became lady at the door of the synagogue begging for alms.

Here I am reading a very important fake scroll.

And, of course, the tour dumped out into a gift shop. Where everything that you ever imagined carving the word “Jesus” into was for sale. I did not pay triple the price for a manger scene whittled in olive wood.

More hummus and couscous for dinner. Don’t worry…I brought Gold Fish and Skittles. I’m not going to starve. ;;;