It can’t get any better than this, can it?

During the last 24 hours, I’ve been bombarded with messages regarding ABC’s announcement of the willing participants living in their knock off sister show, The Bachelor Pad.

Thanks to IHGB readers Stacey, Amanda, Amy, Emily, Sarah, Lina, Aneesa and Carrie for providing the link to People.com.

Yes. There are photos. OH GLORIOUS DAY!

Apparently, Our Host Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft (ABC’s reality show darling) will “be your guide through the Bachelor Pad, which will follow 19 fan favorites from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette as they compete for $250,000 and a second chance at love.”

I can’t wait to see my (the fan) favorites compete for a second chance of love. In my mind, this will be a delicate blend of the show we all know and adore, mixed with a little Big Brother, American Gladiator and Fear Factor. Instead of going on fancy dates, the one-on-one date card recipient will have to shuffle through a paint ball course while the other members of the house shoot him/her. If the person makes it through, he/she gets a rose and chooses someone of the opposite sex…or not…to make out with in the confessional room for seven minutes. If the person does not make it through the obstacle course, he/she must gut a chicken, serve the meat to his/her biggest rival in the house and then eat the innards.

This show is brilliant! Let’s meet the participants!

Tenley
She danced what was in her heart for Jake and he chose to convince Vienna to step away from her pole and dance with him on ABC’s other hit reality show.

He Who Must Not Be Named
Great.

Ashley
We first met Ashley wearing her flight attendant uniform as she crooned to Jake something about a bumpy ride. She seemed darling, but got the boot a little early in the season.

Coiffed Craig
Please. I know we have to have an antagonist, but we already have HWMNBN. Do we really need two?

Elizabeth
Liz is the one who asked Jake if he wanted to kiss her and then wrote him an 18 page letter on notebook paper…both sides…explaining that she won’t kiss a boy unless she is the only one kissing him. I’m going to go ahead and guess that she’s worked through this theory.

Natalie
She likes bears.

David (aka: The Original Cheese Ass)
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HARRISON! NOW WE HAVE THREE VILLAINS?! Is this really necessary ABC? Coiffed is already dangerous. You had to go and throw crazy in the mix?

Gia
She’ll have to leave mid-way through the show to attend Jake and Vienna’s wedding. Rumor has it that she’s a bridesmaid.

Jesse
I guess the acreage and dogs aren’t THAT important to Jesse…

Gwen
HUGE throw back inviting Gwen to participate. She was the season two runner-up. She arrived in a horse-drawn carriage looking exactly like a princess. Aaron chatted her up, fed her and sent her back home in a taxi. I’m pretty sure she was carrying a pumpkin.

Wine Maker Jesse
Just as we were falling for his charm on top of a glacier somewhere in the Arctic, Jillian sent him back to stomp grapes. He will go far if he turns on the personality a little earlier in the game.

What is the game again? I’m so confused…

Girl Jesse
She’s the one who busted Roz for schtupping the producer. That’s about all we know.

Weatherboy
Show Forecast: Mostly annoying with a chance of bless his heart. Expect hurricanes David, Craig and that other guy to blow in with full force.

Krisily
According to People’s website, this girl came in second place during Charlie’s season. Funny. I barely remember him either.

Juan or “Qwahn” as he’s known in my inner circle.
This. Just. Got. Interesting.

Crazy Eyes Michelle of Jake’s season
No wait. NOW IT’S INTERESTING!

KIPTYNITE

Clearly, Our Host Chris Harrison loves me.  I’m not even bothered by the fact that Kipper is too smart to ride this pony of a show/competition (what?) again. I’ll watch him all day long thankyouverymuch.

Nikki
According to People, she got the first impression rose during Jason’s season. He probably took it away and gave it to somebody else later. That’s why I don’t remember her.

Peyton
Poor, sweet Peyton was left on the battleship as Lieutenant Doctor Andy Baldwin flew off in a helicopter with Tessa. I’m rooting for this Texas girl!

Let’s hear it people!  Who will win the “game” and find love?  How often will Kip be shirtless?  Will Reid come to visit?  Will I spontaneously combust if that happens?  Will Weatherboy get shoved in a dumpster only to be saved by Qwahn?  Be heard in the comment section.

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