Lessons Learned from ‘Love Actually’

I’m guessing that if you clicked this link, you are a fan of Love Actually. When you’re not watching it in the middle of the summer on a random Tuesday night, you probably snuggle up on the couch each December in your red snowflake pajamas, sipping your hot cocoa as you root for the romantic heroes of this holiday tale.

As I mentioned last year when I posted lessons learned from The Holiday, it took me a while to really get on board the Love Actually train. I pick and choose the parts I love and fast forward through the parts that make me sad. Basically I watch the Prime Minster fall in love with Natalie, sigh as Colin Firth does Colin Firth and smile when little Sam declares Joanna is the one.

Love Actually

Love Actually hit theaters on November 2003.

I sound like my mother when I say, “That can’t be right, can it? Has it really been that long? Surely not.”

The Google confirms that 13 years ago, a holiday trailer debuted depicting nine intertwined stories with one main thread: love.

Here are the lessons I’ve learned from Love Actually:

  • “All I Want For Christmas” sounds good no matter who sings it.
  • Mariah’s version will always be my favorite.
  • Keira Knightley is able to act in a movie that isn’t a period piece.
  • Adapting popular music lyrics into a Christmas song is a tricky game of rhythm and syllables.
  • Purchase the Love Actually soundtrack.
  • Listen to Lynden David Hall’s version of “All You Need Is Love” on repeat.
  • Confused about how to jump start your spotty love life? Re-enact scenes from Titanic.
  • Stand-in actors for porno movies deserve love too.
  • DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE ON AN AIRPLANE.
  • Carl is hot.
  • Margaret Thatcher was a saucy minx.
  • Never write your manuscript on a typewriter out by the lake.
  • Use something bigger than a rock to weigh down your very big manuscript when writing out by the lake.
  • Always wear matching bra and panties in case a manuscript goes flying into the lake and you have to jump in to save it.
  • No one will fancy a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks unless they are the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
  • If you’re in love with your best friend’s girl, the most appropriate behavior is to confess your feelings via cardboard testimony.
  • Love transcends language barriers.
  • Girls Gone Wild is America’s footprint on the world.
  • Plumpy is a horrible nickname.
  • Colin Firth will forever be Mr. Darcy.
  • Alan Rickman will forever be Professor Snape.
  • Billy Bob Thornton will forever be skeevy.
  • Joni Mitchell can teach a cold, English woman how to feel.
  • When someone asks you to dance to a Norah Jones song, you say yes.
  • A stuffed animal teddy bear can breathe if you are forced to shove him under the bed.
  • Carl is still hot.
  • “Jump” by the Pointer Sisters is the original “Shake It Off.”
  • It’s helpful to have a driver who can take you to the dodgy end of Wadsworth at a moment’s notice.
  • Be able to carol on demand. Have a few selections in your back pocket should the need arise. Choose something other than “Good King Wenceslas.” Perhaps prepare something that’s a little more universally known.
  • Dressing women in Santa suits from the naughty aisle at Party City makes “Addicted to Love” even more scandalous.
  • Invest in a good red coat.
  • Airport rules do not apply when you are in love.
  • Romantic grand gestures are a lost art. Let’s bring them back.

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