Mesnick and the runner up are preggers

To quote my favorite nun:

“Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start…”

Meet DDAHnna.

She was the Bachelorette for season four in 2008. She was no-nonsense, tell it like it is girl who wanted to be married five years ago. In order to avoid a lawsuit and the wrath of DDAHnna’s very large Greek father, ABC conveniently decided to give her a go at finding love on their reality show when Hotter Than Crap Brad dumped her at the Home Depot altar shortly after asking Big Pappas for her hand in marriage.

This is right before she threatened to punch him in the throat.

DDAHnna’s whirlwind romance was soon narrowed down to Jason Mesnick and Jesse. Going against all odds, she picked the snowboarder.

They lived happily ever after for about three months. He cried on YouTube about their failed engagement and she went off and married Stagliano’s twin. Jason remained devastated.

I feel I can strongly concur that no one in Bachelor Nation particularly cared that Jason was devastated by the rejection, but we were unmistakably put out when he was announced as the next Bachelor for lucky season 13. I myself deemed him “melba toast” at best. The only explanation is that his kid is straight up adorable.

Jason flutters through an entire season and ends up with Melissa and Molly as we make our way to the finale. Molly is the first to pull up in her limo and we all bid adieu as Our Host Chris Harrison leads her to the fern-filled proposal area. Jason hems, haws, throws a few compliments her way before telling her that he loves her, but he loves Melissa more. She cries, leaves in the rejection limo and Jason pulls the infamous Mesnick against the balcony.

Then he proposes to Melissa.

Our Host Chris Harrison severely pimped out the “After the Final Rose” episode, promising HUGE news. As it turns out, Jason decided to tell Melissa on national “live” television that he was just kidding about the proposal in the ferns and he would love very much like Uncle Neil’s ring back so he can go ahead and propose to Molly as soon as she is escorted from the premises.

Hooray! Now everyone’s happy!

Molly and Jason were married on television and Melissa went on to bigger and brighter things on other ABC shows:

Now Jason and Molly are expecting a baby.

No word yet if the birth will be aired “live” on ABC but there is one thing we KNOW for sure. No matter how hard you try Mesnicks…you’ll never be this:

In other news, these two yahoos broke up. She was unable to raise him up to more than he could be. Shocker.

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