IHGB Movie Review: ‘Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens’
Before I get into the details of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, I thought I would set the scene for you detailing my experience in Theater 17 at the Edward’s.
It was opening weekend and I decided to embrace my inner geek by wearing my favorite Star Wars shirt to the first morning showing. Knowing that fellow nerds would be swarming the auditorium early for good seats, I arrived an hour ahead of show time with a book in hand and a concealed Diet Dr Pepper in the middle zipper portion of my purse.
Fun fact: Movie theaters nowadays play commercials and advertisements before the featured film. My point? It’s DARK in there! Not only was I the nerd with the book, but I was also the nerd with a book light. Who cares? I’m with my fellow nerd people! Surely a rugged Jedi would spot me in the center of my row, fall madly in love and offer to take me to a galaxy far, far away, right?
Not this time, dear reader.
The “Jedi” who chose the seat adjacent to me was a rather large man-child who took advantage of the Star Wars collectors popcorn/soft drink combo at the concession stand. The contents of that tub could have easily fed the smaller children of a tiny country. His drink was so big that it didn’t fit into the convenient cup holders attached to the seat. He also monopolized the arm rest, but I could hardly blame him since his caffeinated beverage weighed ten pounds. In my mind, I affectionately named him Wicket after my favorite Ewok.
Wicket was with a friend. The pair ignored the smoking hot chick next to them (that’s me in case you’re wondering) in lieu of discussing The Big Bang Theory.
Be still my nerd-loving heart? (The question mark is an accurate punctuation choice.)
Just as I was about to drop some Big Bang knowledge on Wicket and his friend, the lights lowered completely and the coming attractions began to play. Wicket was a boisterous audience participant who possessed the ability to stretch a laugh roughly five seconds beyond a normal audience participant’s laugh. I decided then and there that Wicket was going to be THE BEST seat mate ever. After a dozen or so trailers, a familiar theme song swelled and a huge Star Wars logo blazed onto the screen.
I truly thought Wicket was going to die of a heart attack right there beside me. I fidgeted with glee and lightly clapped my hands like a good little fan girl, but Wicket shouted, “THIS IS IT! IT’S HAPPENING! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S HAPPENING. YES!” Thankfully, other eager moviegoers were having similar reactions. Wicket didn’t appear to be the lone weirdo, so I joined along. I would have high-fived Wicket, but his hands were full of his concession treats. So I high-fived the wirey Asian kid to my left. He texted right after that. I can only assume he was bragging to his friends that the hot Star Wars lady was flirting with him during the opening credits.
Wicket kept his cool, yet the prolonged laughter did continue throughout the entire film. He shouted “AW YEAH!” when Han Solo graced the screen for the first time. He “WOO HOO’d” at the Millennium Falcon. He giggled like a kid when C-3P0 babbled on. Wicket was a super fan and it was so fun to sit beside him. That is, until he yelled at me about 90-minutes into the film.
It was the BIG SHOCK (I won’t spoil it) that I saw coming from a mile away. In my opinion, it was completely obvious what was about to go down. I INADVERTENTLY said under my breath what I thought was going to happen. Then it did happen. And Wicket whipped his head around to me and hissed, “SPOILER MUCH? GAWWWWWWSHHHH.” I laughed a little and he glared at me. I’m sorry, Wicket. READ THE ROOM! How did you not see that coming? You call yourself a fan? Do or do not. There is no try.
Toward the end of the movie, there’s a bit with a light saber. It’s the first time it “turns on” with that “ohhhmmm” sound. Wicket experienced something personal at that point. He kept rubbing his greasy hands on his jeans chanting, “OMG. OMG. OMG.” When the show ended and the cheers from the Theater 17 audience died down, Wicket was on his phone, undoubtedly purchasing a life-size replica of BB-8.
I may have looked into purchasing a miniature version as well.
Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens
Also known in my brain as: The new Star Wars movie
Starring: Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega and Adam Driver
The Gist: Three decades after the defeat of the Empire, a new threat arises. The First Order attempts to rule the galaxy and only a ragtag group of heroes can stop them, along with the help of the Resistance.
- Daisy Ridley, who plays the female lead Rey, is absolutely phenomenal. She’s independent, a legitimate warrior and incredibly strong in more ways than one. She’s not so far removed from her circumstances that she has to adopt a crusty outer shell. Sure, she rolls her eyes as Finn automatically offers to help her up off the ground in battle, but she takes his hand anyway because chivalry is not dead in this particular Galaxy. The girl also has a huge heart. She’s not afraid to let herself cry when all seems lost, but rest assured she will never give up or stop fighting for what it right and for truth to prevail. What a wonderful role model for little girls everywhere!
- Finn is the moral compass of the film. I was totally delighted when JJ Abrams filled his script with quippy one-liners. Typically “that guy” is the voice of reason, trying to corral the crazies. Finn jumps into the deep end of the action right along with Poe, the leader of the Resistance. John Boyega is a talented actor. I found Finn refreshing.
- I found Poe (Oscar Isaac) hotter than crap. I’d follow him to the planet Hoth if he wanted to go. All I’d need was some cute, furry white warm clothes and a tauntaun. Is that weird? Do I care? I think you know the answer to that…
- Han Solo, as always, is full of mischief, comic relief and adventure. He’s exactly the same. And his love for Chewy has endured the decades.
- Princess Leia is a General now. C-3P0 literally pops into the screen to tell us that little fact. She still has a thing for Han. Especially since their kid is the new bad guy!
- Kylo is the offspring of Han and Leia who trained with Luke as a Jedi, but was called to the dark side because his grandfather (what up Darth Vader?) is his idol. Not good. Adam Driver takes his helmet off, which was completely weird to me. It was distracting because I kept thinking, “There’s Adam Driver.” I guess I flinched because in the multiple times I’ve watched the original trilogy, I never once said, “There’s James Earl Jones.”
- BB-8 is everything you wanted him to be. Never fear — your alliance to R2D2 will never waiver. You’ll just love BB-8 as a little robotic brother. Can a robot be cute?
- That guy with the squid head is still around! I love that guy!
- The original Star Wars trilogy is definitely woven into the tapestry of my childhood. I wanted cinnamon bun hair pieces like Princess Leia. I cried when Han Solo was trapped in that concrete brick thing. I was shocked when Vader announced that he was Luke’s father. Ewoks were my jam. We choreographed a military routine to the Star Wars theme for contest and WON. I slept on a Star Wars pillowcase for years. I can see this new trilogy heading in the same direction for this current generation as it did for me so many years ago. And I could not be more tickled.
I loved this move. I will own it when it becomes available. I would recommend you see it on the big screen. More than likely, you already have since it’s currently tracking a jillion dollars. Even if you aren’t a science fiction person and have no idea about the Star Wars universe, I’d be surprised if you weren’t entertained.