Thanks to my friend Katie and her American Express, I will be participating in said happening in section 115 on row 12 thankyouverymuch where I will recite every lyric and perform every dance move when THIS happens:

YES! My mother has been known to wear my old dancing leotards from the 80s as a bathing suit. With this somewhat embarrassing news out in the open, I can hope that SURELY she still has my Joey button that was the size of a dinner plate. Plus, I’m going to need some acid wash jeans and a Home Boy t-shirt before June. Note to self.

In other news, I will also swoon, sway, harmonize and try to hit that sweet low bass when the dude starts randomly talking before the bridge when THIS happens:

Don’t you just love Shawn Stockman? The answer is yes. You know a music video is awesome when the on-screen lady stars feature the theatrical skills of Drucilla Winters, Lisa Turtle and Tootie.

Although I will always hold NSYNC as the quintessential boy band from the 90s, I did have a soft spot for Jeff Timmons even though I never technically owned a compact disc featuring 98 Degrees. Yes, he did have an unfortunate tattoo of the group’s logo on his chiseled bicep, but I was able to overlook the chach factor of such blatant self product placement when he smiled that boyish grin my way.

I did a little research and discovered that THIS is happening:

Well hello darling Jeff! I’m sorry that you and Joey Lawrence decided to be Chippendales that one time. I’d say, “Who can trust rumors you read on Wikipedia?! That never happened!” if there weren’t so many photos of you shirtless in a bow tie on the world wide web. I still think you’re cute though. Perhaps you and Donnie can compare muscles on stage? Have an ab-off? Is that even a thing? Let’s look into making THAT happen!

Naturally, my next move is to make a mix tape of the top hits from each boy band. I’ve narrowed it down to five from Boyz II Men, five from 98 Degrees and 10 from New Kids on the Block.

Yes they get more tracks. Please. It’s New Kids.

Now I need input. Which songs should land a coveted spot on the mix tape that will then be distributed as melody homework to the rather large group of 30-somethings attending the blessed event with me? Be heard in the comment section.

Hangin’ tough,


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