Official poll results: Jacob is hotter

Not only is the werewolf literally hotter than Edward (from a blood perspective), the feedback from the majority of audience members during the 7:30 showing of Eclipse at my local multiplex last night was inexplicably TEAM JACOB.  For every 20 Jacob t-shirts, sweat shirts and homemade water bottles (what?), there was only one Edward representation.

Let’s put the evidence of said paraphernalia aside for a moment and examine the REAL facts…audience reactions during the film.

1.  The scene opens with Edward and Bella in their special meadow.  There was no woo-hooing for Edward.

2.  The first time Jacob enters the picture, we see him waaay in the distance near his motorcycle.  A murmur spread across the audience.  We knew we were about to see him.  And then the camera gets a close up as he walks with determination up to Bella.  The tweens went WILD!  And when I say tweens, I mean the 30-somethings because I was whistling like I was a construction worker on a busy street next to a modeling agency.

3.  The first time Jacob is shirtless was epic.  I pulled out my vuvuzela horn and started chanting with the entire stadium.  The buzz died down long enough for Edward to deliver his line, “Doesn’t he ever wear a shirt?”

Here’s hoping NOT!  And the screaming resumed.

4.  Edward bends down on bended knee to to ask Bella for the 50th time if she will be his wife.  Maybe four people in the audience answered yes for her.  The rest of us rolled our eyes.

5.  Charlie comes out of the house to step between Edward and Jake asking, “What’s the problem guys?”  Jake slowly and meticulously answers, “I kissed Bella.  And she punched me.  And broke her hand.”  Charlie grins.  Audience cheers.

6.  Jacob enters the tent where Bella is freezing to death.  He convinces Edward to let him wiggle in Bella’s sleeping bag because he’s hotter than him (Amen) and then tells Edward this process would speed up if Bella had her clothes off.

Hey.  Survival 101 baby!

7.  Jacob tricks Bella into shouting, “KISS ME” before he runs off to battle.  He whips around, storms up to her, grabs her face, looks hard and then gently kisses her for a good 30 seconds.  There were high fives, blatant requests to REWIND THAT PART and girls fainting in the aisles.

I think we are experiencing a shift in power my dear readers.  The Wolf Pack is on the rise.  And I am declaring myself the unofficial Houston Pack President.  Team Jacob.  Who’s with me?


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