As we have just finished week 5 of The Bachelorette, I think it would be fun to perform a postmortem on a few of the eliminated contestants.
Drunk Guy makes a complete fool of himself. Our Host Chris Harrison doesn’t even consult Kaitlyn before escorting him beyond the freshly washed driveway and into a designated rejection SUV.
Also in week 1, Brady chooses to forego any chance he has with Kaitlyn in lieu of pursuing Britt. Harrison loans him the keys of the rejection SUV, punches in the address of the Ramada Inn in the GPS, and wishes Brady all the luck in the world. Team Brat share a lovely free continental breakfast of Otis Spunkmeyer blueberry muffins and orange juice. Brady has high hopes that Britt will accept his matching do-rags and join him at Bonnaroo with the tickets he plans on scoring after selling the contents of his ABC Bachelorette grab bag on E-Bay.
Break out the antibacterial had sanitizer. More than half of the Bachelor in Paradise season 2 cast has been announced and it looks like Fleiss will showcase a collective group of bathing suit clad pot stirrers this August. Most of them you probably remember. Others you won’t. In some cases, I dug deep into the IHGB archives to research obscure names—I’m looking at you, Dan. Fortunately I’ve created a roster to help jog your memory.
Name: Ashley S.
Alias: Melrose, The Onion, The Crazy One, Mesa Verde
Season: The Farmer
Melrose: What are you?
[The Farmer gives a blank stare, as we all would. ]
Melrose: Do you feel that?
Lincee: THIS IS IT! SHE STUCK A SHIV IN HIS SIDE! HE’S BEEN SHANKED!
It wasn’t a shiv. It was definitely something imaginary or something from her mind that she was trying to pass along to him through telepathy. Nevertheless, #5 Melrose leans in for a kiss while The Farmer is in mid-sentence, #7 Melrose tells him she is in love with everything about him, and that she hopes that resonates in his mind. Then #11 Melrose commands him not to say anything.