People’s 2015 Sexiest Man Alive: My thoughts

David Beckham is People‘s Sexiest Man Alive. I understand the bad-boy, tattoo covered, perfectly coiffed, facial scruff draw of David. Truly I do. He is definitely a strong choice for a candidate of the Sexiest Man Alive. What I don’t understand is why Ryan Gosling wasn’t featured in one of the secondary spreads?

It baffles me.

Especially since the writers featured campy sub-features like, “Animal Magnetism.” It’s basically a bunch of hot guys who love their dog. May I present Exhibit A. There’s also a section called “Shirtless O’Clock.” I’ll see your Shemar Moore and raise you a GOSLING!

Ryan Gosling

In 2011, I halfway praised People Magazine for getting it right by showcasing my beloved Bradley Cooper on the cover. Then in 20012, I started a letter writing campaign. I guess I was so disturbed that it didn’t work in 2013 (kudos to Adam Levine) that I completely blocked out Chris Hemsworth’s reign in 2014.

One of my favorite sections of the Sexiest Man Alive edition is the part where they show sexy celebrities at every age. I like to see which ones are in my bracket. It’s important that I recognize them in case they want to go ahead and start falling in love with me. I also like to peruse the other decades so I can be in the know. It’s equally important to understand who the kids are talking about these days.

Here’s what I learned from this year’s “Sexy at Every Age” feature on page 104:

People's Sexiest Man Alive

21: Ansel Elgort — I cry every time I see his face. I tear up partly because the Divergent movies are so bad, and also because he was so sweet in The Fault in Our Stars.

24: Ed Sheeran — This is news to me. I would have thought Eddie was in his late 20s. While he is still obviously a boy, he sings like a man. And he could easily be a Weasley if another Harry Potter film is in the works.

25: The Weekend — I thought The Weekend was a band. Interesting. Also, I think I’m going to try and put “The” in front of my name for a week and see if it takes.

28: Kit Harington — I see you Jon Snow. (Fun fact: I’ve never watched one second of Game of Thrones, yet I know who this dude is. Gotta keep my finger on the pulse, people!)

30: Theo James — You’re the best thing about the Divergent movies, Theo. You are the reason we all go to the actual movie. Gazing at your rugged face 20-feet up in the air definitely trumps RedBox.

31: Prince Harry — He is my favorite of the royals. Toddler George comes in a close second, followed by Charlotte of course.

32: Robert Kazinsky — I didn’t know this guy, but he’s definitely on my radar now.

35: GOSLING — This is all we get. A tiny little headshot. BLASPHEMY!

39: Benedict Cumberbatch — Who is counting down the days until Sherlock returns?

43: Scott Foley — Noel doesn’t seem to age. Dare I say he gets more handsome as time goes by?

47: Terry Crews — Hilarious AND good looking. A winning combination.

50: Robert Downey, Jr. — I love this guy. Fabulous at 50.

52: Dermot Mulroney — Dermot is the face behind every romantic comedy I’ve loved in the last 20 years. This includes the times I get him confused with Dylan McDermott.

54: Dylan McDermott — See #52

55: Colin Firth — MR. DARCY!

57: Kevin Bacon — Someone call People Magazine. They got it wrong. There’s no way The Bacon is 57-years-old.


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November 30, 2015 12:19 pm

I vote for Taye Diggs every year. Next year, I’ll probably start voting for JJ Watt. He hasn’t been @ my HEB yet, but I keep going every week…

amy a
amy a
November 30, 2015 1:58 pm

“The Lincee” could be catching on. I second everything you said about Durmot Mulroney. I’d pick Gosling over Beckham any day, but Chris Hemsworth over anyone everyday.

December 1, 2015 3:23 pm

Dylan McDermott and Durmot Mulroney are in their 50s??? How is that even possible? And you are so right – Scott Foley does not age.

Is it a mark of my age that my favorite sexy men seem to be falling in the later decades more and more?? 😉

Cindy S.
December 2, 2015 9:14 am

The Lincee has a ring to it! And Ed as a Weasley? PERFECT!

December 2, 2015 9:13 pm

Ryan for sure got robbed (again) but I think it’s because he’s been on daddy duty for a bit.

Also, to be completely in “the know” as you put it, The Weeknd is actually spelt like that… (no “e” in “end”). The spell check part of my brain doesn’t like him for just for that reason. 😉

December 7, 2015 1:46 pm

The Lincee and The Jackie (why not-maybe we should all do it!)-totally agree about the age range. I’m a Seth Myers, but think I could totally pull off a Ryan Gosling (though that’s about the lower limit before I’d feel ridiculous). Of course, the gents in their early 50’s no longer seem so old-also ref. Larry Mullen Jr. at 54.

December 7, 2015 5:14 pm

Forgot to mention that confusing #52 and #54 is totally normal. At my house we also have discussions about whether it was Colin Firth, Colin Ferrell or Will Ferrell-and those 3 are hard to confuse!

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