Prince Farming: A look back on our Bachelor

Bachelor

We are days away from the premiere of the Prince Farming season of The Bachelor. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were scratching our heads over Andi’s fashion choices and screaming at her for not knowing Nick was a wolf in brightly colored and often nautical-inspired sheep’s clothing. Six months have flown by, so I thought I would take this time to scour Andi’s season in order to pluck the most memorable Prince Farming moments to get us ready for Monday. My favorites are after the read more jump!

THE INTRO
Chris
32
Farmer
Arlington, IA
Why you remember him:

You were skeptical at first by the fact that a farmer had pointy hair, but he quickly grew on you as a guy with genuine charm. You also thought he was going to get the first impression rose for about two seconds. Andi seemed to like him enough, but I’m not sure she will ever leave her home to go live in the town in Footloose so her kids can be fifth generation corn growers. We shall see.
Status: Rose

THE FIRST DATE
Andi and Farmer rock back and forth in their designated dancing area, complete with rope stanchions, when Chris goes in for the kiss. Andi wasn’t expecting it, but returned the embrace with somewhat of a convincing recovery. He continued to go in for another kiss and her body language became very clear that she wasn’t in to this moment as much as he was. Translation: he wants to live where the green grass grows and watch his corn pop up in rows. She prefers asphalt and a bagel from the deli. It’s not going to work out and his heart will be crushed as a result.

THE FIRE
Motricia walks into the rose ceremony holding area and Nick immediately snatches her up before she can even greet the other guys. The Farmer calls Nick a BLEEP and Dylan sulks because he should have manned up and swooped in first.

THE DENIM
Andi picks the farmer to go out back to a literal pottery barn so they can re-enact scenes from Ghost. As I was belting, “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed your love…” in perfect falsetto, Andi is confirming The Farmer’s hotness in his denim pottery shirt. Everyone watching with me agreed. They make out all over that pottery wheel. You go Farmer.

THE FARM
He tells her that all the land, as far as the eye can see, is his family’s land. In other words, The Farmer is doing just fine in the money department thankyouverymuch. #suckitJosh

THE JEEP
Note: Jeeps are hot. And anyone driving one is therefore hot too.
Bachelor Chris

PRE-REJECTION
The Farmer pulls up to greet Andi and she hugs him with the affection of a distant relative who just gave her a savings bond at her bat mitzvah.

REJECTION
The Farmer appreciates and respects her honestly. It’s harvest time and he needs to get back to the farm. That corn isn’t going to pick itself. He graciously leaves. No dinner. No hot tub. No tree kissing. Nothing.

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for Monday night! Remember, this is a spoiler-free zone, so no Reality Biff gossip in the comment section!

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