Snow days are rare in Texas, so when one comes around, we shut the schools and businesses. This is completely due to the fact that none of us know how to drive in flurries.
I’m in Hallsville, celebrating my sister’s birthday today. And since we are officially snowed in, I thought it would be helpful for those of you dealing with real snow in the north, for me to share lessons I’ve learned navigating the 30-degree weather.
1. Make sure to get your sister’s birthday present out of the trunk of your car before it freezes shut.
2. Geese love cold weather. Texas dogs make you walk out on “the weird white stuff” so they know it’s safe to go pee.
3. Active men who are used to burning and mowing things, will go stir crazy by mid-day. The term “cabin fever” is definitely a real thing.
4. It makes more sense to scoop up the sleet from the sidewalk and make sno cones, instead of trying to build a snow man.
5. If you believe, wet wood will burn.
6. Don’t worry about snow clothes. Linea Ray has anything you may need in that bureau you never open, including leg warmers. You’ll look like you walked out of a JC Penney catalog in 1984, but you’ll be toasty.
7. If you choose not to go full ’80s, simply put on your father’s coat. It’s okay to stay in your pajama bottoms because you’re snowed in and no one will ever see you.
8. Unless, of course, your brother-in-law videos you hurling down a hill on a swimming pool float.