So much to love…so much to hate

melissa-and-tony-dwts-season-8Don’t you just love this picture?  ABC totally janked the Bachelor headshot from the Pier One Bureau, photoshopped Nancy out and replaced Melissa in front of Tony. 

And no…I’m not writing a recap on Dancing with the Stars.  I simply don’t have enough time.  The Offshore Technology Conference is coming up and you know how I get CRAZY when that time of year rolls around. 

But I just HAD to post about Tony DOVOLANI and Melissa.  I said it last week and I’ll say it again…home boy is PUMPED that he is scoring so big with ABC’s reality reject darling.  He practically foxtrotted Melissa right out of her Beverage Distributions office in Dallas, flashing his clean shaven chest to her numerous cube mates. 

On a side note:  Do these people get paid to do this show?  Will Beverage Distributions (which I think is code for Miller Lite) give Mel her job back when her 15 minutes of fame are up?  Is there a possibility that I can become sort of famous, land a gig on the show and have Maks samba roll me out of my office as I wave dreamily to my co-workers?  It’s definitely something to look in to.  Someone get Our Host Hare on the phone for me…

So Melissa’s lower back tat rhinestones were in full sparkle.  She glided across the floor.  Len and Bruno love her.  Carrie Ann calls her out and says, “This comes easy for you.  Challenge yourself.”  I high five myself.  Melissa pretends that this is hard, but it’s time she OWNS IT like Kristi Yamaguchi did two seasons ago. 

Regardless…Tony danced a jig when they received three nines.  He’s cleaning off a shelf for his disco ball trophy.  Mark my words.

Speaking of Mark.  ADORABLE.  I heart him.  And Shawn Johnson.  And Shawn Johnson’s cute parents.  Just one comment though…stop telling us that you are only 17.  That doesn’t work when you have a gold medal around your neck.  But I still heart you.

I also love Lil’ Kim.  Since she dedicated her first dance to the women’s penitentiary, she won me over.  She just needs to get rid of the stank face while gyrating her booty.  You know what I’m talking about.

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