Survey says?

Most of you know that I worked at Disney World back in the day.   I was a Jungle Cruise skipper and our “back stage” connected to the “back stage” area of Pirates of the Caribbean.  Skippers and Pirates often cross trained, so we all friends or at least knew of each other.  (I mean…EVERYONE wanted to be a Pirate or Skipper.)

There were many things that I learned while working at Disney World that sort of ruined the magic for me.  I saw Cinderella kiss a girl.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  But still…weird.  Saw Snow White smoking with Dopey.  I even heard, but can not confirm, that children’s laughter is piped into the Magic Kingdom.

And then there are the people who do the dirty on the long rides (if you know what I mean.)  These bold individuals typically choose to get down on It’s a Small World and Pirates.  Traditionally, if any guests of Walt Disney World are caught in compromising positions, they are asked to leave the Kingdom and never return.

Naturally, the Pirates did not follow this guideline.  Instead, they opted for a more creative way to let the rule breakers know…that we knew…of their sin.

You see, all throughout the Pirate ride, there are hidden cameras.  There is a tower that is set up much like Mission Control at NASA where one Pirate sits and makes sure people behave themselves.  When said Pirate discovers a couple being naughty in the boat, does he call on his radio to make sure security is there to escort the duo out of Adventureland?

Nope.

Instead, he calls his Pirate buddies and they rush to the exit in order to hold up signs with numbers on them.  Think Olympics.  Most of the time the numbers are pretty descent and the scores are in the higher range because it took guts to do what those people just did.  And kicking them out FOREVER from the Magic Kingdom is a bit harsh.  We’ll settle for sheer embarrassment.

So why am I telling you this?

I feel like I need to implement the same method for the newlyweds who just moved in upstairs about a month ago.

Is it tacky to leave a can of WD-4o in front of their door?  And do you think they would know what I meant if I left a sign that said, “9.5” on white poster board?

I had to take off a half a point for the dismount.

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