Tag ABC Bachelor

Bachelor Finale Recap: Sorry Arie

It was absolutely controversial. It was completely scandalous. It was the first uncut, unedited clip that will go down in reality show television HISTORY! Well, sort of. Our Host Chris Harrison did a phenomenal job preparing us for what he called the most dramatic final rose ceremony. We knew he was serious because his facial expressions exhibited sorrow and agony at the emotional turmoil we would all face in the

Continue reading…

Bachelor Arie Recap: Fantasy Suite Dates

How many of you expected Ross to shout, “WE WERE ON A BREAK!” at one point during his insipid conversation with Becca? Was that just me? SIMPLE DISCLAIMER The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. However, if you or someone you follow on InstaStories happens to personally know, sort of know, is friends with the Orange Theory workout chick who is obsessed with Princess Margaret

Continue reading…

Bachelor Arie Recap: Krystal and the Women Tell All

If you ask me to sum up last night’s Women Tell All in just one sentence, I’d probably say: “I believe Arie would have melted into the floor if the transitive property of congruence had allowed him to last night. That must be why they keep the temperature in the studio so icy cold. It’s a mixture of both a thermostat thing and an ex-girlfriend thing. Homie looked pale and

Continue reading…

Bachelor Arie Recap: Skin It To Win It

Bachelor Arie Recap: Season 22, Hometown Dates Can you believe we are here? It’s hometown dates on The Bachelor! That means the producers over at ABC have taken a few hours to sit in a room so they can figure out how to properly dramatize the families of the four remaining women. Because I’m totally plugged into the organization, I was able to acquire a transcript of the meeting notes.

Continue reading…

Bachelor Arie Recap: My Gift Is Your Thong

Bachelor Arie Recap — Season 22, Week 6 I have so many thoughts in my head right now, each fighting for my attention. Most of them involve fancy house boat mansions on the River Seine, Krystal’s nodes, and Our Host Chris Harrison’s eyes. I’m also embracing the fact that my book Why I Hate Green Beans launches into the world today! I feel excited and nauseated. I hear that’s normal. If

Continue reading…