iHateGreenBeans

Never in the history of life has there been a bigger week than this last week, with the end of American Idol. (OK…so that was a HUGE exaggeration.) Sorry to get this post up late, but I was \in Colorado working for the week and did not have access to my computer. Wanna know a fun moment?   When someone you work with tells a crowd of about 350 that you are an American Idol blogger.  At that time I handed in my Man Card and then proceeded to sing Love Story with all those people. So here goes, my last post, last time to hear how much I like Kris, last time to hear me say how annoying Kara is, last time to hear my opinion about Adam. I know you are all sad and crying, and Veronica, I know you MOST of all are sad to see me go.

So Tuesday night’s show was not much to write about. As a guy, I really don’t notice clothes. It is sad. In college I was dating this girl, and during the first week of going out I had worn the same shirt three different times on dates and had no idea I had done that. Not until she pointed it out. I am dumb to that stuff. So, if I notice something, it has to be pretty loud. With that being said, thank you to the judges for giving me something to write about.

RANDY – Loved his jacket being about three sizes to0 small and of course his “Good and Plenty” tie. I was hoping on Wednesday he would have a red tie with some twists that you could pull apart.

PAULA – Apparently someone kept her in the tanning bed against her own will and told her to wear a bright color. “Ok Paula, imagine a highlighter, and I want you to wear a dress with that same color. No sweetie, nothing can be too bright.”

SIMON – One more button and we may have seen his belly button. That had to be an accident.  Can you have a shirt unbuttoned that much?  Granted I don’t have the body for that, but even if I did, would it be better if you just don’t wear a shirt. It was like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to wear one or not.

To bring sports fans into the mix, they do a coin flip to decide order of performances, and like a good coach, Kris decides to defer to the second half.

Something the show had been missing was a montage of Adam screaming. One after another after another after another and so on. Well with the show winding down, looks like it won’t … wait, hold on, there it is. So before we get started for the night, they want America to hear his screechness.

Adam starts with one of his best performances of the year. I really did enjoy the song then and even now. I wish he would have changed it up a little, but it was still good. And in typical Adam form, very theatrical. All I could see though was Van Helsing search for vampires. He loves to dress up. Judges liked it, not surprising. But what was shocking was that Paula said that it was unbelievable that he was there in the finals. Really Paula?  Really?  I’m pretty sure from day one you put him there. And Simon actually said something bad about him. This was the first negative thing said since when he destroyed Ring of Fire.

Then we see Kris’ family. Was it funny to anyone else to go from the Adam’s family to the Walton’s, flopping between Adam and Kris?  I love that there are two different types of guys battling for the end. You can tell throughout the show how different they are.  Adam has the vocal talent way over Kris. He can sing and is dang good at it. I think everyone can agree with that, it is not surprising.  Take the screeching away and his voice is cool. But as you see Kris’ two performances, you can see his talent level is amazing. He can take a song that you know, and totally change it up. His version of What’s Going On is awesome. He changed it up and made it to where an 18-year-old would hear it on the radio and think it is a brand new song.

The rest of the show was pretty boring and not giving a lot to write about. Only a few things:
 - I really think that when Paula answers, she has an ear piece in and someone on the other side telling her what to say. “Kris … you are … a bright … shining … light.  I mean … star.  And I am ……………. happy.

 - I noticed this show that Kara reminds me of the adults on Charlie Brown. You know when they are talking, and you are looking at them, but all you hear is “Mawawwawawamamamawawawawawamamamawa, Rock God.”

 - It was nice to see that Tom let Katie out for the night.  I thought she was required to stay at home and not be seen on camera anymore.

 - The last performance was, well weird. I love that Kara helped write that. I mean, an inspirational song about climbing mountains?  She is really going for something new that no one has ever done before. I didn’t really like either performance, but Adam sang it better than Kris. I liked Adam singing more. But you could tell neither were excited to sing it.

RESULTS SHOW
I love that this show makes fun of their own.  I like the judges videos and Paula’s video was even more proof that she has someone feeding her lines through an ear piece.

Who is this Mikalah Gordon in Conway?  Could anyone stick out more like a sore thumb in their surroundings. Where did they find her?

Well, if you missed those fun opening group songs, they really went all out for this one. They are so tough to watch. It is like a bad version of High School Musical. It was like a group of people were sitting around and all of the sudden music starts, and they all get the idea to just start dancing and singing, with no practicing at all.

Thank you AI for bringing Norman Gentles back to the show. I have liked him since the beginning, because he takes the show about as seriously as someone should. HE was so much fun to watch throughout the whole season. He was great and always entertaining. This was one of the most fun performances EVER. How about ending with “Norman Gentles 09″ and then just walks off and gives the mic to someone in the crowd. He is so great.

And then bringing Katrina back on, for all the guys who are having to watch the show because their wives are making them. When she walks out, Simon and Randy’s reaction are pure gold. They look like me on Christmas morning when I opened my Nintendo game system with Duck Hunt. Total shock and awe that someone would actually get that for me. And how about Kara coming out and singing. She loves herself and I am glad she showed America that she can sing. Of course I can not pass over the ending. Has anyone been more surprised since the Timerlake/Jackson fiasco?

And I thought Tatiana was gone. Well I guess I was hoping she was gone. I am glad she can make fun of herself. Can you imagine if she had gone far, I would have killed myself. I love watching drama on TV, mainly because I really don’t have any in my life. But man, that is tough to watch. I almost feel sorry for her, but I realize she puts it on herself. How about the second best quote of the year:  ”This is to all the guys who told me I had to sleep with people to make it to the top.” Thank you for that Tatiana, it is really sad you did not make it.

If you don’t like Seacrest, this show was a great example of how funny he is. From not being able to open the card with the winner on it, to quite possibly the best quote of the year. To Katrina: “I was going to ask you what’s new, but I think I know.” My brother turned over to me and admitted that he liked him. I remember when I came around. I encourage all of you to if you have not yet.

I realized that after one of the commercial breaks, I love that Ryan tells you who is going to sing. Because if he didn’t I would have not been able to fast forward through Queen Latifah and Lil Rounds. Thanks for looking out for me Ryan.

I loved Jason Mraz coming out to sing. I love that song and I am so glad they brought him out. Do you think when these artists come out to sing, they are a little frustrated and are annoyed that they are singing with those ‘common folk’?  Watch Mraz sing.  He keeps looking at Anoop and pointing up and down, telling him what to do with his voice.  Oh it is so much fun to watch.

I enjoyed Kris’ performance with Keith (big shock, I know).  Two reasons why Adam did not sing with Keith Urban:
1. Not really his type of music
2. The title of the song

Loved Allison with Cindi and Danny with Lionel. I think that was a great comparison of the two and who they will be like when they are older. I got into a debate with my friend. Of the top four, who will have the most selling albums in four years?
1. Gokey – he will fall into the Clay Aiken crowd
2. Kris – I think people will be surprised at how much you will like his music when he makes a CD
3. Allison – if she can remake some 80s songs and bring some of those back, and sing songs similar to that, she will kick tail.
4. Adam – (did I surprise anyone with this) I think people will see that he is a good singer, but it is always the same, and I think people may get bored.

Adam with Kiss seems about right.  And how about those diamond studded football pads he has on? Adam is right at home with Kiss on stage. This will be his future, and it will be a good one. Lord knows Adam has the tongue for it. I noticed that the normal AI drummer was not on the show. He was one of the only reasons I could watch Adam perform. That dude is so good and can wail on the drums.

It was also fun to see that Steve Martin finally found his special purpose.

****SIDE BAR – TRANSFORMERS IS COMING OUT JUNE 24TH. I AM MORE EXCITED THAN KARA AND PAULA WOULD BE IF ADAM SANG THEM TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT. I WANT TO INVITE ALL OF YOU TO WATCH IT WITH ME. IT WILL BE AWESOME. AND A BONUS, IF YOU WANT TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY DURING AN ACTION MOVIE.  COME ON OUT. I AM PUTTING THE OVER/UNDER AND HOW MANY TIMES I TEAR UP AT 2 1/2. YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE THE OVER. ****

Well it is finally to that special time, who is the winner. Drum roll please ……………………..

KRIS WINS!!!! ( I can almost hear Cosell screaming, Down Goes Frazier, Down Goes Frazier…)  Adam was a good sport and Jorge was jumping around like a three year old coming in contact with Barney.

And now it’s over.  My Tuesdays and Wednesdays are freed up, which is kind of sad. I mean what do I do now? I don’t get to watch my man crush every week and can’t be fueled with material by the amazing duet of Adam and Kara. I want to thank you all for reading.  I really appreciate it. This is all in good fun and totally my opinion on things. Some are harsh, I know that. You guys are awesome for reading. Trust me, if asked to write again, I will.  All I need is a topic. Because like a good friend said to me “You have an opinion on EVERYTHING and there is a lot going on in that head of yours.  And it all needs to come out onto paper.”

I hereby nominate myself as President of the Kris Allen Fan Club – Houston.

6:41: (L)  Watching American Idol on a big screen is going to change my life.

6:48 – Christmas for me growing up (and even now) is one of my favorite things in the world. I wake up in the morning, get my little brother out of bed, go to the fireplace and see what Santa gave us. At the ripe old age of 29, not much has changed on Christmas morning. This morning I woke with the same feeling, except I had to wait 12 hours to find out what I got from Santa, and I actually already know what I got. Kris Allen all wrapped up ready for me to unwrap (that last phrase is said as least creepy as possible, I promise.) I only hope that I was not a bad boy this year and get Adam (sticks and coal) as my gift.

6:59 (L):  Lincee’s phone rings.  WHO IS CALLING ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS???  (her sister)

7:00 (L):  I find it odd that a singing reality show does not have a theme song.

7:00 (L):  THIS is American Idol.

7:00 – Jill, Lincee, Jill’s mom Pam, Sammy Sam Sam, and myself, is there a better way to watch American Idol. Lincee just claimed there is no AI theme song, and she could not be more wrong, when you hear that DAH DAH DAH DAH, you know what you are about to watch. Lincee is wrong and dumb. She is claiming that a song has to have someone singing. She is about as right as Kara’s Aerosmith reference last week.

7:01 (L): Ryan’s tan looks pretty in front of the blue stairs.

7:01 (L):  I can see Simon’s nipples through his shirt.

7:01 – Just realized I will not be here for the finale next week and I had to take a moment of silence.

7:02 – Moment over, and Ryan just made an 80s movie reference. The three amigos, I am going out on a limb and guessing that the three of them may not be the best of friends. I can not see them going out for coffee, or Danny and Kris joining Adam when he goes to his hair girl.

7:04 (L):  Gokey is singing Paula’s song…”Dance Little Sister.”  Never heard of it.  Starting off with a “C’mon!”  Raspy.  Looks like he’s about to throw up.  Scatting with the sax.  Paula’s cousin’s name is Terence Trent D’Arby.

7:07 (L):  Paula loves Gokey.  Go figure.  She likes his gyrations.  Kara can suck it.  This is a SINGING competition.

7:08 (L):  Gokey wants you to understand…HE JUST WANTS TO SING!

7:09 (L):  Paula just punched Simon in the left breast.

7:16 (L):  Randy and Kara want Apologize.  It’s dark and beautiful.  Just like Kris.

7:16 – I hate that Kara picked Kris’ song. Did Kara just say a dark and beautiful song. She bugs the piss out of me.

7:17 (L):  On the keys…baby GRAND!  Kyle is singing backup right now.  Close up of the fingers.  I wish he had cleaned the pinky nail a little better, but I still love him.

7:17 – I love his performance, so good. He added his weird facial expressions which are always a crowd pleaser. (If I did not like him, I would make fun of those so much, but I won’t)

7:19 (L):  Randy loves that Kris has vocal chords.  Kara thinks that he should be swinging bats and playing his guitar.  Paula talks about a bum note but she was proud.  Simon calls her out.  And then throws Kara under the bus.  Simon is stirring it up tonight!

7:21 – Thank you Simon for calling Kara out. And I love that she can not take any criticism, and she can not NOT talk, she has to always be talking. Did anyone notice that none of the judges really commented on his performance. Kara could not be anymore annoying. We all know that I love Kris, ok the cat’s out of the bag, but you have to say that was a good performance.

7:22 (L):  Ryan said Kris is humble.  Kara punctured Simon’s face with a press on nail.

7:23 (L):  ADAM IS LAST AGAIN.  HOW UNFAIR IS THIS?

7:23 – Prediction – Simon picks “Dude looks like a lady” for Adam, how fitting would that be.

7:26 – “Mini sirloin burgers” That song will be stuck in my head the rest of the night, if it is not stuck in your head, you are not a real American.

7:28 (L):  Paula is a spaz in her chair.  This is somber Adam.

7:28 – Paula throws in “We had lunch” about U2. NAME DROPPER.

7:29 (L):  Wow.  No tongue.

7:29 (L):  Annnnnd there it is.

7:29 – Is that Spock up on the stage, notice the pointy ears. We are 15 seconds into the song and he falls back on his screamy phase. Could he do a song without that. It is like Seth Rogan falling back on a dirty line in a movie because he can not think of a creative, funny line.

7:30 (L):  Judges let the audience scream back at Adam for a good two minutes.  Randy thinks the dude is in the zone and hot.  He’s keepin’ it real.  Much like his friendship bead necklace.  Kara thinks Adam is unbelievable.  I sort of do too.  Paula uses the word “one” a lot.  Simon gloats since he knows famous British people.  Bono is speed dialing as we speak.

(From Kyle)

Tonight is the night Idol fans.  It’s time to dig deep, pick up your phone and vote for Kris Allen at least 47 times.  Together, we can put the GO in Gokey. 

Join me and fellow Idol blogger Kyle at 7:00 EST for our inagural live blogging session.  We will write during the show and post during commercials. 

We can’t wait to hear what you guys have to say, so make sure to post in the comments section.

TEAM KRIS FOREVER!