Tag Bachelor Recap

Bachelorette Hannah Recap: Party Queen

It’s been two months since Miss Alabama Hannah officially bested her arch nemesis Caelyn by taking the coved title of ABC’s new bachelorette. As Caelyn shops for scantily clad bikinis between extra hours of cardio in prep for her stint on Bachelor in Paradise, Hannah can be found on a deserted soundstage shooting mysterious reality show promos, walking through an enchanted forest in an ice blue plant suit. It’s clear

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Bachelor Colton Finale: Colton has a girlfriend and we have a bachelorette!

It was touch and go there for a while during the two hour FINAL season finale of Bachelor Colton’s journey to find a wife. Sure he settled for a girlfriend, but there was all sorts of drama, according to Our Host Chris Harrison, that led to Colton’s decision to be cool with a girl who doesn’t really like him that way but is willing to travel around the continental US

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Bachelor Colton Recap: Women Tell All

I have a love/hate relationship with The Women Tell All. Primarily because there is a total of fifteen minutes of the episode that is interesting or brand new information. That’s it. The remaining portions of the two-hour long show consist of the following: thirty minutes of catty drama, thirty minutes of “Who is that again?” while pointing to women on the back row, fifteen minutes of “What is she wearing?”,

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Bachelor Colton Recap: Someone Get Chris Harrison

For the first time in the history of the franchise (except for that one time Jason Mesnick said “just kidding” and Arie said “Becca, wait, sorry, hold on, I pick Lauren) we have reached the most dramatic episode in Bachelor history. When someone who has been recapping this show as long as I have stands up twice — you know it’s life altering. My stomach was in knots for a

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Bachelor Colton Recap: Hometown Etiquette

It’s an important week and Colton knows it. He spends a little more time in the shower, soaping up his chest while contemplating how weird it is that a cameraman is peeping through the glass. A quick glance in the mirror confirms that Colton is ready. He musks up, packs a tiny overnight bag, and heads to Virginia to begin his cross-country journey to figure out which family he wants

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