Tag BIP recap

‘Bachelor in Paradise’ recap: The kids are not Mexican

Things started off kind of awkward on Bachelor in Paradise. Juelia gets stung by a jellyfish and Tenley is the only one with a full bladder to save the day. Let me be clear—this was not the awkward part. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you. The awkward part is the fact that neither one thought that Tenley should pee in a cup and then pour

Continue reading…

‘Bachelor in Paradise’ recap: Why limit happy to an hour?

There are few things that make me stand up and hold my laptop over my head in triumph when it comes to watching Bachelor in Paradise. Joe being dumped on national television is certainly one of them. Ames showing up in crisp red pants is one too, but that’s another post of another day. I have to brag a bit—I saw it coming when Our Host Chris Harrison called Samantha

Continue reading…

‘Bachelor in Paradise’ recap: Drama club

I feel like someone should have issued a warning for the Bachelor in Paradise beach dwellers. No, it’s not Hurricane Carlos. You can see him coming from a mile away. It’s easy to prepare for his inevitable destruction. Just take shelter in a place where the tequila flows freely and hunker down until the worst is over. The real danger comes in the form of a subtle threat that moves

Continue reading…

‘Bachelor in Paradise’ recap: Some find love. Others find tequila.

I had high hopes that this episode of Bachelor in Paradise would kick-off with JJ punching Joe in the trachea, but that didn’t happen. Instead, Tenley gives a stern, “I thought I heard shouting” message that was oddly as effective as that time my dad came upstairs for the third time in my life to encourage my sister and I to stop jumping on the bed. Tenley simply raised her

Continue reading…

‘Bachelor in Paradise’ recap: Lots of pants are on fire

You know an episode of Bachelor is Paradise is going to be epic when Jorge the Bartender lands a spot in the cast roll call video and Our Host Chris Harrison reminds the audience during the opening that Joe is “paying the price for being a BLEEP.” (It’s like duck, but with different vowels.) I settled in, fully aware that this show is careening off its rails and I have

Continue reading…