iHateGreenBeans

Thanks again to all the ladies who emailed me regarding Elliott.  I knew this pimpin’ thing would work and I’m proud to say that our soldier boy has quite the stock of young ladies from which to choose!

Here’s the deal.  I got an email from him early in the week saying that they are in “communication blackout” at the moment and he won’t be able to email, let alone virtually flirt with dozens of girls.  The blackout will eventually lift, but he’s asked that I narrow down the field to a handful of hopefuls.

Naturally, that made me feel weird, so I decided to develop a committee that will help determine the single ladies who have the best fit with Elliott. 

I’m giving it another week before I close the bidding ladies.  Feel free to send me a short bio and a photo if you are interested in being added to my super fancy Excel spreadsheet. 

And for those of you who have already sent me stuff…THANKS!

Here’s one more round of tidbits for you to nibble on until next week:

Age:  30

What is your favorite breakfast cereal?  Frosted Flakes

Vanilla or Chocolate?  Chocolate

Do you wear contacts?  Nope – 20/10 sniper vision in both eyes.  It rocks.

Boxers or briefs?  Boxers.  But for running, briefs are a good idea.

Who has had the most influence in your life?  My Mother because she has always set a strong, morale example.

What will you be doing five years from now?  I will be running my own business, or doing a great job running somebody else’s business and enjoying my family. 

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?  It’s hugely dependent on whether I meet her at a library or the beach. 

What qualities of the opposite sex would you HAVE to have in a girlfriend?  All I really need is a girl who shares my values about work, family and God.  Being smoking hot is a major plus, of course.

Wow.  I think I need to add pimpin’ to my resume because I’m quite honestly pretty good at it.  Is that something I should admit to?  My Mom reads this website…

I can’t believe how many emails I received from posting one picture (in which you can’t see his eyes) and a few fun facts about Elliott.  You guys are FIERCE!  I love it!  I guess I will stick with what worked before and post a few more photos and facts. 

Because my Daddy always told me, “If it ain’t broke…don’t fix it.”  Let’s get down to business:

 He likes the kids.  Can I get an “AWWWWWWW” from the readers please?

And he thinks that I’m #1.  Thanks E.  Right back at you.

In keeping with Big Pimpin’ tradition, below are a few more fun facts about Elliott.  I’ve included some from fans and some of my own. 

And remember, if you are interested, feel free to email me with questions!

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How tall are you?  5’8

Have you ever bungee jumped?  Yes.  It was very cool.

What is your favorite ice cream?  HEB’s Creamy Creations Strawberry Cheesecake.  Add chocolate, carmel, whip cream and nuts and it gets 37% better.

Mountains or beach?  Mountains

Do you have a stupid human trick?  I can remember your phone number and social security number forever and ever if I see it once.  But don’t be afraid.  I wouldn’t know how to steal your identity if I wanted to.  I can barely use a computer.

Do you have pets?  The deployed soldier’s lifestyle makes it impossible to keep pets.  I like cats and dogs both.  Why should we have to choose?

Favorite thing to cook?  Stuffed salmon Lafayette.  Broil stuffed salmon.  Serve over wild rice smothered with craw fish etouffee.

What is your favorite memory from childhood?  The birth of my sister when I was seven.  She is married now to the greatest guy on earth AND she is an Army helicopter pilot.  I am the proudest brother in the world.

What cartoon character best describes you?  Calvin

If you could try something and you knew you would not fail, what dream would you attempt?  Astronaut.  For real.  If not, then starting running back for the Dallas Cowboys.

Several people have asked about your religious background.  How would you answer that question?  I have Methodist on my father’s side and Catholic on my mother’s side.  I am very conservative in my personal and political views, so I get along well with Christians of all backgrounds.  I’m also accustomed to an environment where we don’t share beliefs and feelings openly.  You probably won’t catch me using tender, vulnerable phrasing like, “I love Jesus.”  But I do believe Jesus Christ died for our sins and whoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life.  There is sort of a family tradition about being soft-spoken about religion (it is a Methodist thing I think).  Talk is cheap.  Somebody’s beliefs are more accurately represented in their deeds.  I expect my family to attend church and for my kids to have a knowledge of the Bible.  A woman who really wears religion on her sleeve may be a bad fit for me.  A woman with NO religion is a deal-breaker.