Hello friends! When we last left Colton, he was wandering up and down the seashore trying to remember all the reasons he agreed to be the bachelor. There’s the InstaFame, dating up to twenty-five women at one time, perhaps finding a wife, the swiping of his v-card, cool clothes, stamps in his passport, and being best friends with Ellen and Jimmy Kimmel. What he didn’t expect was the catty drama,
I have to hand it to The Bachelor. After twenty-seven seasons, you’d think we would have showcased a pageant scandal on the franchise, but no. Mike Fleiss had to search near and far to find two best friend former beauty queens, willing to go on national television to unleash their inner beasts. And let us not forget the teeny tiny pirate wench who doesn’t want to be associated with the
When The Bachelor kicks off 120 minutes of Colton “waking up in bed,” documenting himself video selfie style, you know producers were asked to turn it up a notch and this is the best they could do. Of course, Colton’s pretend sleepy-eyed confession that he and his ladies were going to a theater to “tell stories about our firsts” was followed by a gratuitous shower scene. It’s been seventeen years.
It happens every December. We push pause on the old DVR, freezing It’s Christmas Comma Eve at the point where LeAnn Rimes is receiving the most perfect kiss from a very attractive man, and we give our attention to something equally as important. The Bachelor. It’s finally happened. Our Host Chris Harrison announced the women vying for Colton’s heart (THREE HOUR DEBUT – bless – on January 7) and we