iHateGreenBeans

Never in the history of life has there been a bigger week than this last week, with the end of American Idol. (OK…so that was a HUGE exaggeration.) Sorry to get this post up late, but I was \in Colorado working for the week and did not have access to my computer. Wanna know a fun moment?   When someone you work with tells a crowd of about 350 that you are an American Idol blogger.  At that time I handed in my Man Card and then proceeded to sing Love Story with all those people. So here goes, my last post, last time to hear how much I like Kris, last time to hear me say how annoying Kara is, last time to hear my opinion about Adam. I know you are all sad and crying, and Veronica, I know you MOST of all are sad to see me go.

So Tuesday night’s show was not much to write about. As a guy, I really don’t notice clothes. It is sad. In college I was dating this girl, and during the first week of going out I had worn the same shirt three different times on dates and had no idea I had done that. Not until she pointed it out. I am dumb to that stuff. So, if I notice something, it has to be pretty loud. With that being said, thank you to the judges for giving me something to write about.

RANDY – Loved his jacket being about three sizes to0 small and of course his “Good and Plenty” tie. I was hoping on Wednesday he would have a red tie with some twists that you could pull apart.

PAULA – Apparently someone kept her in the tanning bed against her own will and told her to wear a bright color. “Ok Paula, imagine a highlighter, and I want you to wear a dress with that same color. No sweetie, nothing can be too bright.”

SIMON – One more button and we may have seen his belly button. That had to be an accident.  Can you have a shirt unbuttoned that much?  Granted I don’t have the body for that, but even if I did, would it be better if you just don’t wear a shirt. It was like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to wear one or not.

To bring sports fans into the mix, they do a coin flip to decide order of performances, and like a good coach, Kris decides to defer to the second half.

Something the show had been missing was a montage of Adam screaming. One after another after another after another and so on. Well with the show winding down, looks like it won’t … wait, hold on, there it is. So before we get started for the night, they want America to hear his screechness.

Adam starts with one of his best performances of the year. I really did enjoy the song then and even now. I wish he would have changed it up a little, but it was still good. And in typical Adam form, very theatrical. All I could see though was Van Helsing search for vampires. He loves to dress up. Judges liked it, not surprising. But what was shocking was that Paula said that it was unbelievable that he was there in the finals. Really Paula?  Really?  I’m pretty sure from day one you put him there. And Simon actually said something bad about him. This was the first negative thing said since when he destroyed Ring of Fire.

Then we see Kris’ family. Was it funny to anyone else to go from the Adam’s family to the Walton’s, flopping between Adam and Kris?  I love that there are two different types of guys battling for the end. You can tell throughout the show how different they are.  Adam has the vocal talent way over Kris. He can sing and is dang good at it. I think everyone can agree with that, it is not surprising.  Take the screeching away and his voice is cool. But as you see Kris’ two performances, you can see his talent level is amazing. He can take a song that you know, and totally change it up. His version of What’s Going On is awesome. He changed it up and made it to where an 18-year-old would hear it on the radio and think it is a brand new song.

The rest of the show was pretty boring and not giving a lot to write about. Only a few things:
 - I really think that when Paula answers, she has an ear piece in and someone on the other side telling her what to say. “Kris … you are … a bright … shining … light.  I mean … star.  And I am ……………. happy.

 - I noticed this show that Kara reminds me of the adults on Charlie Brown. You know when they are talking, and you are looking at them, but all you hear is “Mawawwawawamamamawawawawawamamamawa, Rock God.”

 - It was nice to see that Tom let Katie out for the night.  I thought she was required to stay at home and not be seen on camera anymore.

 - The last performance was, well weird. I love that Kara helped write that. I mean, an inspirational song about climbing mountains?  She is really going for something new that no one has ever done before. I didn’t really like either performance, but Adam sang it better than Kris. I liked Adam singing more. But you could tell neither were excited to sing it.

RESULTS SHOW
I love that this show makes fun of their own.  I like the judges videos and Paula’s video was even more proof that she has someone feeding her lines through an ear piece.

Who is this Mikalah Gordon in Conway?  Could anyone stick out more like a sore thumb in their surroundings. Where did they find her?

Well, if you missed those fun opening group songs, they really went all out for this one. They are so tough to watch. It is like a bad version of High School Musical. It was like a group of people were sitting around and all of the sudden music starts, and they all get the idea to just start dancing and singing, with no practicing at all.

Thank you AI for bringing Norman Gentles back to the show. I have liked him since the beginning, because he takes the show about as seriously as someone should. HE was so much fun to watch throughout the whole season. He was great and always entertaining. This was one of the most fun performances EVER. How about ending with “Norman Gentles 09″ and then just walks off and gives the mic to someone in the crowd. He is so great.

And then bringing Katrina back on, for all the guys who are having to watch the show because their wives are making them. When she walks out, Simon and Randy’s reaction are pure gold. They look like me on Christmas morning when I opened my Nintendo game system with Duck Hunt. Total shock and awe that someone would actually get that for me. And how about Kara coming out and singing. She loves herself and I am glad she showed America that she can sing. Of course I can not pass over the ending. Has anyone been more surprised since the Timerlake/Jackson fiasco?

And I thought Tatiana was gone. Well I guess I was hoping she was gone. I am glad she can make fun of herself. Can you imagine if she had gone far, I would have killed myself. I love watching drama on TV, mainly because I really don’t have any in my life. But man, that is tough to watch. I almost feel sorry for her, but I realize she puts it on herself. How about the second best quote of the year:  ”This is to all the guys who told me I had to sleep with people to make it to the top.” Thank you for that Tatiana, it is really sad you did not make it.

If you don’t like Seacrest, this show was a great example of how funny he is. From not being able to open the card with the winner on it, to quite possibly the best quote of the year. To Katrina: “I was going to ask you what’s new, but I think I know.” My brother turned over to me and admitted that he liked him. I remember when I came around. I encourage all of you to if you have not yet.

I realized that after one of the commercial breaks, I love that Ryan tells you who is going to sing. Because if he didn’t I would have not been able to fast forward through Queen Latifah and Lil Rounds. Thanks for looking out for me Ryan.

I loved Jason Mraz coming out to sing. I love that song and I am so glad they brought him out. Do you think when these artists come out to sing, they are a little frustrated and are annoyed that they are singing with those ‘common folk’?  Watch Mraz sing.  He keeps looking at Anoop and pointing up and down, telling him what to do with his voice.  Oh it is so much fun to watch.

I enjoyed Kris’ performance with Keith (big shock, I know).  Two reasons why Adam did not sing with Keith Urban:
1. Not really his type of music
2. The title of the song

Loved Allison with Cindi and Danny with Lionel. I think that was a great comparison of the two and who they will be like when they are older. I got into a debate with my friend. Of the top four, who will have the most selling albums in four years?
1. Gokey – he will fall into the Clay Aiken crowd
2. Kris – I think people will be surprised at how much you will like his music when he makes a CD
3. Allison – if she can remake some 80s songs and bring some of those back, and sing songs similar to that, she will kick tail.
4. Adam – (did I surprise anyone with this) I think people will see that he is a good singer, but it is always the same, and I think people may get bored.

Adam with Kiss seems about right.  And how about those diamond studded football pads he has on? Adam is right at home with Kiss on stage. This will be his future, and it will be a good one. Lord knows Adam has the tongue for it. I noticed that the normal AI drummer was not on the show. He was one of the only reasons I could watch Adam perform. That dude is so good and can wail on the drums.

It was also fun to see that Steve Martin finally found his special purpose.

****SIDE BAR – TRANSFORMERS IS COMING OUT JUNE 24TH. I AM MORE EXCITED THAN KARA AND PAULA WOULD BE IF ADAM SANG THEM TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT. I WANT TO INVITE ALL OF YOU TO WATCH IT WITH ME. IT WILL BE AWESOME. AND A BONUS, IF YOU WANT TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY DURING AN ACTION MOVIE.  COME ON OUT. I AM PUTTING THE OVER/UNDER AND HOW MANY TIMES I TEAR UP AT 2 1/2. YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE THE OVER. ****

Well it is finally to that special time, who is the winner. Drum roll please ……………………..

KRIS WINS!!!! ( I can almost hear Cosell screaming, Down Goes Frazier, Down Goes Frazier…)  Adam was a good sport and Jorge was jumping around like a three year old coming in contact with Barney.

And now it’s over.  My Tuesdays and Wednesdays are freed up, which is kind of sad. I mean what do I do now? I don’t get to watch my man crush every week and can’t be fueled with material by the amazing duet of Adam and Kara. I want to thank you all for reading.  I really appreciate it. This is all in good fun and totally my opinion on things. Some are harsh, I know that. You guys are awesome for reading. Trust me, if asked to write again, I will.  All I need is a topic. Because like a good friend said to me “You have an opinion on EVERYTHING and there is a lot going on in that head of yours.  And it all needs to come out onto paper.”

I know. You are all disappointed in me.

I try to not to have any regret in my life life. I’m typically one hundred percent confident in the decisions I make and stand by them.

But Thursday will be haunting me for a while.

My friend Catherine had an extra ticket to New Kids. And I didn’t go. Because I’m an idiot. But also because I had a commitment. And finally, because I was in an evil haze of whatever sickness had taken hold of my throat, lungs and apparently brain that week. Let the record show that I did price iron lungs on Craigs List, but there is no excuse for me turning her down.

Luckily, Catherine was able to recruit our friend Jill (who is not a TRUE NKOTB fan) and they were sweet enough to recap the event for us. Although it pains me to read these words, I did find myself laughing out loud several times.

We do and will always…love these boys forever.

Uhmm…who wouldn’t? (Thanks for this Erin.)

Enjoy!

FROM THE DESK OF GUEST BLOGGER CATHERINE:

Picture it: 1989
Getting ready for a New Kids on the Block concert was a big deal for this 14 year old girl. Always in the back of my mind was the possiblity that they would shine a spotlight on me while I sang along to “Please Don’t Go Girl” and Joe would see me and fall madly in love. He’d stop singing because, you know, he’d become breathless upon seeing me. His unusually large bodyguard, Biscuit, would come get me from my seat and I’d be escorted backstage and into a life of marital bliss with Joe. So getting ready for such an event was a big deal. I picked my best pair of acid-washed jean shorts, my favorite Joe t-shirt, and pinned one of my over-sized Joe buttons onto my shirt. I curled half my bangs back and half forward and then teased them to perfection. Half a bottle of hairspray later, and I was ready for the concert . . . after dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, of course. Upon arriving, we stood in line for an hour to get our favorite concert t-shirt (hoping that they hadn’t sold out of mediums), and then we found our seats. The lights went down, the screaming started, my parents put in their earplugs, and we waited for the big moment. One of the New Kids asked “Are you READY??” “YES!!!” we screamed. And when the New Kids came out on the stage, we hugged each other, jumped around, and cried like babies.

Picture it: 2008
Things were a little different this time. As a 33-year-old woman, I knew that there was no possibility that a spotlight would shine on me and reveal Joe’s true love. So getting ready was less stressful. I picked the jeans that actually fit me right now, a long-sleeved t-shirt (purple, because that’s the big color this Fall), and pinned my favorite over-sized Joe button on.

I don’t wear bangs anymore and don’t even own hairspray so I just brushed my hair and headed out. We ate Mexican food instead of Hard Rock Cafe because margaritas were in order for such a big night (didn’t have THOSE when we were 14). And then it was just like old times . . . we arrived at the concert, stood in line for an hour to get our favorite t-shirt (hoping they hadn’t sold out of extra larges), and then we found our seats. The lights went down and the screaming started. One of the New Kids asked “Any ladies out there SINGLE???” and then spotlights started going all over the place. “Holy CRAP,” I thought. “Maybe the freakin’ spotlight WILL shine on me!!!” And when the New Kids came out on the stage, we screamed, hugged each other, jumped around, and, I’m not afraid to admit it . . . cried like babies.

The concert was AWESOME . . . the New Kids still definitely know how to entertain their fans!! I was afraid that they would try to focus on their new music and downplay their past. But they DEFINITELY didn’t do that. They started off with Single which is one of their new songs and then went into such classics as Favorite Girl and Valentine. We heard Please Don’t Girl, The Right Stuff, Tonight, Cover Girl, Didn’t I Blow Your Mind This Time, Baby I Believe in You, and If You Go Away. They did all their old choreography and got LOTS of cheers when they did their old Right Stuff dance. They played video clips of some their old videos as they sang – that was such a great touch. Joe and Jordan did their songs they did as solo artists and, of course, the group did several of their new songs, all with old-school choreography. Fun times. There were several costume changes, one that included Joe’s old leather jacket with the yellow smiley face on the back. Their last costume change put them all in white and then they sang I’ll Be Loving You (Forever) to end the concert. Of course, we knew they couldn’t be done YET because they hadn’t played Step By Step or Hangin’ Tough. So we screamed and screamed and then they raised up out of the stage and sang Step By Step. It was so freakin’ awesome . . . sorry, I feel like I’m there again! And then the lights went down and we screamed and screamed until they came back out in Boston Celtics jerseys and sang Hangin’ Tough. It was so fun. And I can’t tell you what a cool feeling it was to look around the Toyota Center and see so many 30-something women throwing their arms back and forth and singing along. It really was just like old times.

Of course, there were many differences. They had some female dancers on stage with them (which we did NOT appreciate) and we were, of course, obliged to glare at them and call them names when they danced too close to Joe or Jordan. One of the women was dancing on a piano during their new song Dirty Dancing. She was supposed to be dancing dirty but I think she was actually having a seizure. It was strange and, again, I was forced to call her a name. Danny’s break-dancing was a bit rusty but God bless him for doing it for us. In the stands, we noticed a few differences in ourselves. First, we all had indigestion which I don’t think is something we had to deal with as teenagers. We all burped up our Mexican food while we sang along – our row smelled like a strange combination of fajitas and enchiladas. Another difference is that, at times, I was wishing I had my parents’ earplugs with me – I was wincing like my mom does when the surround sound is too loud at the movie theater. Also, since our last NKOTB concert, my sister Erin has had two kiddos so things were a little different for her, too, because everytime she screamed and jumped, she peed on herself. But that didn’t stop her from letting it all out (literally) and screaming “I’m not okay . . . I’m NOT okay” when Jordan was singing Baby I Believe in You.

It was a fun night for New Kids fans, that’s for sure!! And there was definitely a feeling of solidarity among us all. When we were kids, there was an unspoken animosity among fans who liked the same Kid. If I saw another girl wearing a Joe pin, I had to automatically consider her my sworn enemy. That’s just how it was. This time, however, everyone was laughing together in line and in the stands. People chatted in the t-shirt line about old concerts and our favorite Kids and teased each other about the competition for Jordan or Joe or Donnie’s undying love (not Danny or Jon, though, poor guys . . .). Erin saw someone walking in an old-school t-shirt and she stopped the girl to say “I hate you that you can still wear your old shirts!!” Then the girl laughed and told her it was an old nightgown so we loved her again. Lots of women had pulled out their old-school stuff and other fans really got a kick out of that. It was like we were one big, happy family and we were all just excited to be taking this walk down memory lane together.

So Joe has blown through Houston again without falling in love with me. Oh well, it’s ok. All that matters is that I had a blast and I hope that they come back soon!! And in the meantime, I have GOT to get a hold of the guy who runs the spotlight . . .

FROM THE DESK OF GUEST BLOGGER JILL:

Picture it: 1989
I’m in Mrs. Bell’s 8th grade typing class. I was trying my hardest to beat my all time best words per minute score, but couldn’t help being distracted by the girl sitting next to me. Was it necessary to take off ALL her NKOTB buttons and place them like framed photos around her workspace? After all, if it’s big enough to have a photo frame stand built into the design, it’s too freakin’ big. Then she turns to me, “Hi! I’m Catherine!” Being that I’m a nice girl, I take my eyes off the copy I’m feverishly typing to give a quick smile and introduce myself, “Hi, I’m Jill.” Back to typing. Sweet! 64 words per minute!

Picture it: 2008.
I have never cared about the New Kids on the Block. I can sing some of their most popular songs and can even tell you which one is my favorite, but I still don’t care much about them. So how did that girl back in 8th grade typing class become my be fri? Hmmm. Well, news of NKOTB reuniting hit and I get a call from Catherine asking if I want to spend $90 on a ticket to see them when they come to Houston. I didn’t think twice. Nope. Don’t want one. Well, Catherine doesn’t give up easily. She asked a couple more times over the next couple months and each time my answer was the same. Nope…until the concert day arrived. I get a call at noon from Catherine. Someone had to drop out, the ticket is available, I don’t have to pay for it, blah, blah, blah. I don’t remember the rest because I was trying not to be nauseated by her excitement.

I caved. That’s right, I said yes.

So Catherine, her sister Erin, friends Dana and Jenny all arrive at my house a few hours later. I helped Catherine pick out which of her five Joe pins she’s going to wear and we head out the door. Dinner was awesome and I honestly thought to myself how glad I was that we went to dinner first because I was sure that would be the best part of the night. Much better than a lame boy band concert. We stood in line for loot and the girls were getting all worried they would miss the opening act. I offered to stand in line so they wouldn’t miss one moment of those dorks who call themselves singers. We ended up getting to our seats just in time.

They came rising up out of the floor and the screaming began! I took some video footage, mainly of Catherine and Erin losing their minds, and decided to enjoy the show. I was actually enjoying myself (I’m saying that to you in a whisper). I even caught myself at one point thinking to myself that Joe has a pretty nice voice. I know, I know. All you NKOTB groupies are wanting to claw through the screen right now to tell me all about how he’s sung on Broadway. Catherine has already filled me in more than you know.

Then the moment happened…they somehow teleported to the middle of the crowd and popped up on a rotating stage in old school outfits. “Remember when we said girl please don’t go…” Who is that girl screaming in my ear??? Holy CRAP….it’s ME!!!! I’m screaming! I can’t stop screaming! Make this stop! But it doesn’t folks. I sang, bopped, screamed, and giggled my way through the entire song…and loved every minute of it.

Ok, it’s time to get this back under control. They ran up to the stage and had 35 year old women jumping banisters to touch them. It was fabulous. They sang some of their new stuff and I was embarrassed by some of the lyrics. Things like “I’m a man now”, “She’s like Baby, I’m like Swayze”, etc. The show ended and I thought that it was pretty fun, but we needed the encores before I could feel the night was complete. Sure enough, as they came out for Step By Step, I started jumping, clapping, screaming, and who knows what else. I was trying to take a picture too. I’m totally busted! Clearly, I was no longer holding back with my affection for the New Kids. The picture was blurry and crooked.

When we left the concert, I was exhausted. My feet hurt from standing the whole time, I couldn’t hear a thing, my voice was a little hoarse, I’d bought Catherine a program, she bought my baby a Step By Step onesie, I had run out of memory on my phone from all the pics and video I took…but I swear I don’t care anything about these New Kids guys. I promise.

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Picture of Catherine and her sister Erin discovering New Kids concert tickets in a recently opened present. Acid wash jeans rule. And a true fashionista matches her socks to her Christmas sweatshirt always.