My Thoughts on the 2018 Golden Globe Awards
It was a night dedicated to women. The 2018 Golden Globe awards didn’t just salute females in the entertainment industry or the bright beacon of light they call “Oprah,” but all women. With the aggressive #metoo and #timesup movement sweeping the nation, the women of Hollywood decided they were going to take over one of the most watched award shows of the year. And they were going to preach a message of equality and education for a solid three hour live televised event.
This was a smart decision, because everyone knows we flock to the Golden Globes for a handful of reasons.
- We want to see how the drunk uncle of award shows behaves.
- We hope to catch a glimpse of a Gosling.
- The fashion.
Last night, that was not the case. The Globes did not belong to the drunk uncle. He’s been banned to watch the festivities from the after party or sleep it off in the limo. And instead of a Gosling, they toss us a Timberlake bone and a Hemsworth cameo, which I appreciate. Finally, fashion is thrown out the window in lieu of a red carpet blackout.
Who cares that designers and stylist have been planning their clients’ wardrobe for months. It’s time for solidarity and the word got out. If Chanel taught us anything, it’s that the little black dress is timeless and classic. Bring on the ebony taffeta and onyx silk!
Even though the night was a bit more subdued than Golden Globes from days of yore, there were some memorable moments worth noting. Here are just a few:
Seth Meyers’ Best One-Liners
Hollywood trusted Seth Meyers to pepper the 2018 Golden Globes with enough sexual harassment jokes to last us at least until the Oscars. There’s no way words can do it justice. I would prefer if you watched it yourself!
Any time Nicole Kidman or Reese Witherspoon was on the stage (which was a lot), they mouthed “I love you” to the other one. I found this adorable.
Viola Davis’ hair was INCREDIBLE. Also, every time I see this woman, I compliment her skin. How can I get mine so silky smooth? It isn’t fair.
Worth the Standing Ovation
When Jennifer Aniston came out with Carol Burnett to present an award I don’t even remember, the entire audience stood up and cheered for Carol for an entire minute. She became emotional, then Jen teared up, then I got a lump in my throat. It was divine.
Maggie Gyllenhaal’s earrings.
The Handmaid’s Tale
I haven’t seen it, nor do I think I want to. I understand it’s winning all the awards, but I think the subject matter would make me feel dark and twisty. I did appreciate Elizabeth Moss’ speech about how women have “been in the blank white spaces” and how she encouraged us to “write our stories ourselves,” but my favorite part of her spotlight was when Tami Taylor high five’d Elizabeth as she walked by her table.
You Can’t Make Me
I think there were only three women who didn’t wear black. One was the President of the Hollywood Foreign Press. No one said anything for fear that they would never receive a Golden Globe statue in the future.
I Love Randall
Why producers stuck Sterling K. Brown in the very back of the auditorium is beyond me. This Is Us deserves to be in the pit with all the rest of the movie people. Put him by Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks. I ASSURE YOU THAT RANDALL AND BETH CAN HANG WITH THE ELITE.
Here Come The Conners
How do we feel about Roseanne coming back?
Alexander Skarsgård won for best actor in Big Little Lies. When he won the Emmy for this exact same role, he kissed Nicole Kidman (his TV wife) straight on the lips right in front of Keith Urban, the entire auditorium of stars, and everyone watching. Twitter H-A-T-E-D him for doing that. He refrained from locking lips this time in lieu of announcing to the auditorium that he loves Nicole Kidman. Not quite what we were looking for, but better nonetheless.
My Body is Banging in Black
Here’s a tribute to the women who wore see-through garments:
I Fully Support This Decision
Justin Paul, and Benj Pasek. You need to know these names, because you probably know their work. They wrote “This Is Me,” which is the emotional anthem of The Greatest Showman. They also wrote songs (and won an Oscar) for La La Land and a Tony award for the Broadway phenomenon Dear Evan Hansen. When “This Is Me” played in the movie theater, I wanted to stand, but it would have been inappropriate. In order for you to somewhat experience all the feels I felt, I’ll ask you to watch this clip. In it, you’ll see the entire cast hear the most talented Keala Settle sing the song with full choir for the first time. You’ll also see Justin realize he’s created a masterpiece while he’s banging out melodies on the piano, as well as an emotional Hugh Jackman. (Thanks to my friend Amy King for sending me this!)
Freaks, Geeks, and Mic Blocks
James Franco portrayed Tommy Wiseau in Disaster Artist and won best male artist. He invites Tommy up to the stage so everyone can clap for him, but then denies him the microphone to say anything. I’ll allow it since Tommy is questionable in a live environment and James was so, so sweet to his brother.
Winter Is Coming
These women have an “in” at the Fountain of Youth.
Halle Berry = 51 years old
Selma Hayek = 51 years old
Sharon Stone = 59 years old
The real Tonya Harding was at the award show and was called out when Allison Janney won supporting actress. This is one movie I haven’t seen yet, that I really, really want to see.
I Am Spartacus
Kirk Douglas is 101 years old and was saluted by the Hollywood Foreign Press for lasting this long. He didn’t win an award, but he did get to present with his hot daughter-in-law, Katherine Zeta Jones. I’m pretty sure he didn’t care about winning an actual award, because he’s winning at life.
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Apparently we need to see this drama. It won. Several times.
On The Docket
Knox and Jamie have been telling me to watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel for weeks now. It won best TV Comedy. I should trust it for that endorsement alone. It’s definitely on the list, and not just because it’s written by the same husband and wife team who brought us Gilmore Girls.
Oprah won the Cecil B. DeMille Award. She used twelve minutes of TV time to thank the audience, encourage young women, and start a huge betting pool if she’s going to run for president in 2020. I also believe this is the reason why we didn’t have an “In Memoriam” segment. They ditched it so Queen Oprah could reign as long as she wanted on stage. No one seemed to mind.
Natalie Portman: “Here are the all-male nominees for best director.”
Harry Potter meets Twilight!!!!
Jessica Chastain told a joke about how the candidates for a best actor category promised to give half their salaries to their women co-stars if they won. Gina Davis told the exact same joke two presentations later. Oh, Thelma. (Or was she Louise?)
We need to see this one, too.
Frances McDormand won for best actress in a drama. She high five’d Angelina Jolie who was presenting the award to her. Angelina did not look like she appreciated the gesture, but looked extremely comfortable in all black.
When Barbara Streisand glided onto the stage to present the best motion picture drama, the audience freaked out. She first laughed at them saying, “I’m not going to sing,” and then chastised the industry for a female not winning best director since she herself won in 1984. Nice dig and equally nice way to remind everyone that you are a quadruple threat. Afterwards, she announced Three Billboards as the winner.
To sum up, we need to start watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Big Little Lies if you haven’t already. We also need to see Three Billboards and Ladybird before they win all the Oscars.
But first, go see The Greatest Showman and then buy the soundtrack.
***For a list of all winners, click HERE!***