Whispers

I am two months out from my book launching into the world. Sure, my butt has been clenched since the summer, but a new inconvenience has reared its ugly head.

The whispers.

I hear them all the time:

You are an idiot for thinking people will care about this book.
No wonder you are nervous. You should be.
Everyone is going to know your business and think you are weak.
You’re never going to make a living doing this.
You should be embarrassed by thinking this is a way to serve the Lord.
God doesn’t want you to write a book.
You need to adopt kids or go live in Africa. Why else are you single?
That’s why God isn’t answering your prayers. He doesn’t care.

I battle whispers all day long. Sometimes I find myself paralyzed from fear as I try to puzzle through the reality of these statements. A part of me starts to rationalize how this is some sort of preparation for what’s to come. I imagine the inevitable failure, followed by ridicule.

Then I remember that my book may be considered by the one who whispers, as a very dangerous weapon. I’ve been commissioned to advance the Kingdom at all cost and I choose to do that through my writing.

Of course I’m going to be attacked.

I have to train my brain to think differently. I have to teach my heart how to recognize where the whispers are coming from. And I have to be prepared to combat those thoughts with truth each and every time.

You are an idiot for thinking people will care about your insecurities and get anything from your divorce.
THANK YOU FOR TURNING MY DARKNESS INTO LIGHT! (2 SAMUEL 22-29)

No wonder you are nervous. You should be.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMISE TO GIVE PEACE TO THOSE WHO ARE
FAITHFUL. (PSALM 85:8)

Uhm, Chapter 2? Everyone is going to know your business and think you are weak.
YOU HAVE BLESSED ME WITH A SPIRIT OF POWER, LOVE, AND A
SOUND MIND. (2 TIMOTHY 1:7)

You’re never going to make a living doing this.
YOU ARE A GOD OF HOPE AND THEREFORE I AM FILLED WITH JOY AND PEACE THROUGH FAITH. (ROMANS 15:13)

You should be embarrassed by thinking this is a way to serve the Lord.
GOD DELIGHTS IN ME (ZEPHANIAH 3:17) AND I AM ENGRAVED IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND. (ISAIAH 49:16)

God doesn’t want you to write a book. You need to adopt kids or go live in Africa. Why else are you single at 42?
SOME TRUST IN CHARIOTS. SOME TRUST IN HORSES. BUT I WILL TRUST IN THE NAME OF THE LORD MY GOD (PSALM 20) AND GO WHERE MY FEET TAKE ME.

That’s why God isn’t answering your prayers. He doesn’t care.
I KNOW THAT NOTHING CAN SEPARATE ME FROM HIS LOVE. (ROMANS 8:39)

There are times when fear, anxiety, and worry creep in. That’s natural, but I can’t stay in that place.

I can’t worry and worship at the same time.

I have to remind myself that I have everything I need:

I am called by the Father.
I am redeemed by the Son.
I am sealed by the Spirit.
I am seated with Christ in heavenly places.
I am empowered by the Holy Spirit to walk worthy in this world.

I am ready.

And I am all in.

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