Bachelor Ben recap: The women (and a chicken) tell all
Bachelor Ben Recap — Women Tell All
We’ve been watching The Bachelor for 20+ seasons. Everyone knows that the “Women Tell All” episode is notorious for including the following:
- Lots of cleavage.
- Major eyelashes.
- Women wearing tiny skirts, that barely cover the nether regions, who are encouraged to sit in translucent chairs.
- Tans that come from a bottle.
- That girl in the back row who talks the entire time, yet you don’t remember her from the show.
- The one that can’t stop crying.
- The villain.
- The victim.
- The sweet one vying for the coveted position of the next bachelorette.
- The crazy one that is inevitably invited as a guest on Bachelor in Paradise.
- The blooper reel.
- Our Host Chris Harrison forcing those in the hot seat to sit in long, pregnant pauses.
- A declaration of love and devotion.
Yet never, in the years have I been watching this show, has that list included an agitated chicken.
When the chicken flies the coop…literally! 😨 #WomenTellAll #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/qmn1wrhlGW
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) March 8, 2016
God bless the Chicken Enthusiast for bringing Sheila to the set. Thank you Shelia for being the comic relief of a pseudo-boring episode. I hope you get to go to Paradise, even if your handler has to stay home. And I hope that Jorge doesn’t accidentally serve you for dinner one night.
Here are your top 10 moments from The Bachelor’s “Women Tell All.” Enjoy!
Campaign Trail for Mount Rushmore Status
Harrison and Ben take a tricked out bus so they can travel around Los Angeles to crash watching parties. This is great reconnaissance for the rest of us to solidify everything we need for next week’s finale. If you don’t have the following, make plans to secure these party items before the big day:
- Baby in a onesie with #Mrs.Higgins on the back
- Lots of wine and beer
- Pajamas displaying whimsical farm animals
- A cake with Our Host Chris Harrison’s head on Brad Womack’s body
- More babies
- Some sort of point system or Bingo card for all the men you will drag to the party who need an activity
- Red roses and candles
- A selfie stick
- Girl in a monkey suit
Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder
You remember Leah, right? She’s the one who isn’t semi-finalist Lauren. She’s also the one who threw semi-finalist Lauren under the bus. Harrison makes Leah defend herself from the comfort of her Lucite panel seat. But first, he reminds the audience of Leah’s treachery. TO THE VIDEO!
OHCH: What gives Pinocchio? That bald-faced lie, which you can’t deny because I just played the clip, seemed out of the blue. Care to explain yourself?
Leah: The producers made me do it.
OHCH: Try again.
Leah: I was upset when I didn’t get the one-on-one and had to take matters into my own hands. I didn’t intentionally lie.
Even Sheila wasn’t buying that line. Becca practically laughs in her face. Leah will not be joining half of the future cast of next season’s Bachelorette over in Paradise this summer. They prefer crazy over morally compromised.
In the words of Madonna, “Who’s that girl?”
The girl in yellow on the back row with the plunging neckline that I’m quite confident exposed her areola once or twice is Jami. I did the research y’all. She was really on the show. She had a lot to say to Jubilee with Amber and Shushanna flanking each side. The altercation? Jami claims that Jubilee deemed herself as the “full black woman.” And I don’t mean her figure. Jubilee couldn’t remember this tiny detail until 12 other women on the panel confirmed that she indeed played the “full black woman” card on more than one occasion. When the moment escalated into a diversity talk, Harrison invited our favorite Army sergeant into the hot seat.
The Commander Goes Commando
Jubilee never wears panties.
Now that we have that out of the way, we can concentrate on the fact that Jubilee not only owns the label of “full black woman,” but also the “controversial contestant.” She feels that she’s hard to love. She apologizes once again to the girls and gets a “you’re forgiven” air kiss from Amber in return. Our Host affirms her in every way possible before giving her props for being bold enough to stir the pot. He holds his own pot stirring stick as he dismisses Jubilee and invites Lace into the hot seat.
Crazy Love
Lace arrives in her signature lace dress that most of us would wear as a shirt. Harrison makes her sit through a reel of behind-the-couch-cushion footage, including the “I’m not crazy” and “You never looked at me once” moments we’d all like to forget. A rando from the audience shouts that Lace is crazy — crazy beautiful. Then he whips off his shirt to reveal a tattoo of Lace on his ribs. He begs for a picture and Harrison allows it. NO TOUCHING. The pasty guy goes home with a sweet memento from season 20 and Lace leaves with a ticket to Paradise. Lace on an island with a bunch of dudes and endless amounts of alcohol? Yes please.
Smart Things are My Jam
Olivia gets points for wearing a pant suit. She’s already displaying a more ladylike demeanor. She lands in the hot seat with a dignified smile and a few tears glistening in her eyes, ready to defend herself. Naturally, Harrison plays an “Olivia’s Greatest Hits” clip which showcases her pompous attitude. She apologizes to Amanda for the Teen Mom dig. She smiles when Jennifer tells her, “We like to read books and talk smart things too.” Olivia lets the tears flow when she reminds the panel of women that they talked about her breath and her toes on national television. People felt sorry for Olivia for five seconds before the twins launched their own attack from the front row. Twin chastises Olivia for daring to besmirch her affinity for short and tight things. Olivia claims she never said any such thing.
We’ll let this GIF speak for itself. #WomenTellAll #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/6S3dFB2gEA
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) March 8, 2016
SHE LOOKS GOOD IN FREDERICK’S OF HOLLYWOOD OUTFITS! DEAL WITH IT OLIVIA!
Olivia turns her face to Harrison, begging him to rescue her from this torture. He gives her a little blue steal and she collectively apologizes to the entire group for being fabulous.
Team Sex Panther
Caila only had nice things to say about Ben. She was very classy. She’s also rumored to be the next bachelorette. How do we feel about this information?
When It’s Time To Change, You’ve Got To Rearrange
Harrison claps Ben on the shoulder, welcoming his buddy to the hot seat. Immediately he chastises him for being an idiot. Don’t tell two women that you love them, dude! Ben has a reasonable explanation — he compartmentalized his relationships with Lauren and JoJo. He did love both women. This answer bores Harrison, so he tosses the hot potato to Caila. Anything you want to say? Caila thanks him for being genuine and honest and allowing her to open up her heart for the first time in forever. PS: Did her moss/tree conversation prevent them from moving forward? Ben gives a diplomatic answer which roughly translates into, “Yes. Yes it did.” She thanks him for being awesome.
Caila tosses the potato to Leah who tries to blame Ben for getting caught in a lie. He calmly points the finger back in her direction and somehow manages not to roll his eyes. She thanks him for being awesome.
Next up is Jubs. She doesn’t understand why Ben supposedly dumped her because she wasn’t a good communicator. Why didn’t he just say that he wasn’t into her like he did with the others? Ben reminds her that she did pull back and barely spoke to him at times. He takes blame, but also wants her to take some blame too. She thanks him for being awesome.
Ben moves on to Amanda and asks how the girls are doing? Amanda appreciates that Ben was emotional when he dumped her on national television. She also wants him to know that every girl died when she saw him running around with her kids. He’s a great catch who will make a wonderful husband and father one day. She thanks him for being awesome.
Becca hops on the train and applauds Ben for giving her the hope that there are good guys still left in the world. She thanks him for being awesome.
“That’s what they’ll call us.”
Ben gave Harrison a “HOPE” bracelet that matches his. I love this bromance so much.
Falls, Bugs and Rum — Oh My!
The blooper reel was too good to recap. I’d prefer for you to watch it in all its glory.
What did you think of last night’s show? Do you think Jubilee and Jami will be invited to Paradise? Is Caila the new bachelorette? Will Sheila get a Twitter account of her own? Sound off in the comments section!
I didn’t notice, but was Olivia wearing open toed shoes? Yep, I went there.
And Thank the Lord for Sheila! She was more entertaining than all of them. And quite calm when she was being pet.
I didn’t notice if Olivia had open toe shoes. But Shelia definitely did NOT.
We hate the thought of Caila being the bachelorette! But she acted like a future b.
I actually felt sorry for Olivia. Although she was weird and hilarious nobody deserves so much hate.
And Ben melted my heart when he told OHCH he would marry his final pick tomorrow if he could. That was sweet.
Als always, great recap Lincee and cheers to Sheila!
Agree – if Caila is the B, I just may have to sit this season out. Yawn – I don’t think I could take smiles full of boredom!
But youuuuuu guyyyys, she has great hair….. (said in a whiny voice with vocal fry)
Suzi, thank you for mentioning the rampant epidemic of vocal fry! It makes me want to tear my ears off! I blame the Kardashians!
I have some respect for Olivia because she can take a joke and laugh at herself. The mouth jokes were funny, that’s part of her personality. But I feel bad for the crap she must have gone through on Twitter. People can be downright evil on social media.
Caila will be fine. Let’s not give up just yet. They will stick her with a dozen crazies. Isn’t that what we all watch for anyway? OF COURSE!
Thanks for the comment S.a.r.a.
I think we already saw all that Caila has to offer and I’m already bored
Peter Brady was sooooo boring last night. Dude looks like he needs 48 hours of continuous sleep. But the thing that preoccupied me was Caila’s eyebrows. The left one was a lot fuller, no?
I couldn’t get past everyone’s eyebrows. They all looked like caterpillars!
Agree, everyone was VERY liberal with their eyebrow pencil last night. (Though I thought Caila’s looked the most natural, surprisingly).
And they never moved!!!
I thought the same thing! The guy needs to REST. He looks exhausted. Hopefully he’ll start the recovery process once he tells us who he picked.
Am I the only one that was bored enough to start doing other things while the tv was on yet not bored enough to turn it off? It became background noise to my personal rendition of “Oh Sheila, bawmp bawmp bawmp, oh Sheila…”
Yup. I didn’t even make it to Ben. I had to go to bed.
I sang that song too! And yes, it was totally boring.
Caila is WAY too young to be the Bachelorette. She had major warning signs on the Bachelor and I don’t think she would actually stay with whoever was at the end because she’s too young. I know there are lots of young people out there that get married at a young age and kudos to them but everything regarding Caila was telling me she’s not ready for marriage. Put Becca on there or Lauren or Jo Jo (I know who he picks but I am not posting a spoiler here :))
Puhleeze…no more Becca! I am Beccaed out! She is boring and one-dimensional. Her 20 minutes are up!
AGREED! I’d rather have Calia. I think she’s already been tentatively offered the gig and that’s why she didn’t call Ben on the fantasy suite while he knew he was in love with at least Lauren at the time.
I think it was the edit. If you watch the bloopers, I’d say that girl does knows something about getting down.
I think JoJo would be the only one interesting enough to be the lead…and to get more of her crazy family would be awesome. Caila is too young, too boring and immature. I’m so sick of Becca and her whiney voice…time for her to retire. Or head to BIP.
i agree-
my girlfriends and i (who have been in it to win it since alex michel) have been wishing for a “geriatric” season…you know, people in their 30s?
I would love to see Jubilee as the next bachelorette, personally! Although perhaps either Lauren or Jojo (whomever Ben doesn’t pick) would be okay too. However, I agree: a season of Caila as bachelorette would be pretty boring. No one is that happy and easy going all the time!! Just doesn’t seem right.
Thank you for not spoiling!
Yay! You get my braclet joke. I think you are my female lobster. Few of my friends get my Friends obsession! Love my Texas pal!
Thank you Janis! FRIENDS FOREVER. Will you be my bracelet buddy?
When Amanda said “Being a mom is my jam” I cheered out loud. Props to hot single moms everywhere! I cannot watch a season of Caila on the Bachelorette. She’s too goody-two-shoes and has a perfect pre-planned answer for everything. Snooze fest!
Props to the HSMs!!!!
If Caila is the next bachelorette it will be way too BORING!!!
Trust me…the guys will be good!
The twins showed how emotionally young they are. And Haley’s dress………………………..
One thing I was really impressed with was that Sheila the chicken appears to be potty trained.
Yes!!! Totally noticed that too!
I agree! I kept waiting for her to poop in the Chicken Enthusiast’s hand. And she didn’t!
embarrassingly so….
Answer me this – If Lace is learning to love herself, all grown up and maturing; WTH does she want to go on BIP?
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!! Thanks Della
Deelyla – sorry! Computer autocorrected for me.
She’ll find herself there and love one of the bachelorette rejects. It’s all good.
Yes–thank you, she even said she still has work to do! Seems like a big step backward.
For everyone who was watching this show in the background while doing other things at the same time, welcome to every Monday night for me. Yes, I will pause for facial reactions and re-wind (is that even a term anymore?) if I miss something, but this show has become a background show. Hey, it´s 2 hours! I have stuff to do!
I have a hard time taking the twins seriously as grown women. They´re still teenagers, right?
The scene during the closing credits of the small horse eating from the craft services table had me laughing so hard.
I liked Becca´s shout-out to Ben for being a decent guy. Even though everyone is getting on him for telling two women that he loves them, he made a good point about compartmentalizing his relationships and really giving his all to each one individually, and I can respect that. That doesn´t mean I´d want to be in his situation! Oh boy…next week.
Small horse totally rocked it. And my tween girl neighbors show more emotional maturity than the twins. The twins seriously need to live separately.
@Jamismyjam – love your name!
The tiny horse is my jam.
Here’s the thing, Leah could have been 100 percent honest about Lauren’s comment. Lauren Himle is still friends with her, as well as Caila Quinn, but there’s no way they’re going to comment on the situation, because Lauren B. got the good-girl edit and they want to stay in the show’s good graces to be on Paradise/Bachelorette.
I think Lauren really did make a stupid comment, and Leah took it the wrong way. Add to the fact that Lauren got literally ALL of the attention that week, and Leah self destructed. It was stupid and mean, but you have to understand the other girls are probably doing tons of stupid and mean things that we don’t see too.
I’m willing to let it go and give her the benefit of the doubt. I’ve seen far worse people on this show.
Amber and Other Amber (Jami? Whatever.) are far worse in my opinion. They’ve done nothing but make catty remarks and try to start fights on this show. Amber is insanely aggressive and that’s why she hasn’t found love despite being on THREE shows now. Nobody wants to deal with THAT for a week, let alone the rest of their lives. Other Amber is just echoing her and trying to be relevant enough to go to Paradise, which will probably happen even though she somehow manages to be both catty and incredibly dull at the same time.
LOL at Chris Harrison being the protective dad taking Lace’s prom picture with Tattoo Guy. “Now, no touching!”
I am surprised that both Ben and I can tell Twin and Twin apart at this point.
I hope Jubilee goes to Paradise.
Caila as Bachelorette? Meh. I’ll still watch. She’s totally gorgeous. I think Amanda is more deserving and would be much more interesting, but I’ll still watch Caila.
Amanda would be interesting to watch but I would have to mute my tv. I can’t do the baby voice! Caila is too young…seriously, at 24 years young, you can’t find love?? Becca would be ok, Olivia would be hilarious! I would love a villain as a bachelor or bachelorette (not like Juan Pabs though, he was the cute guy turned evil which was disappointing, lol!)
I never said Caila was too young. I got married at 21, five+ years later still happily married and expecting our first child. Age doesn’t matter, only maturity and whether you pick the right person. I’m not 100 percent sure Caila is mature enough yet, but time will tell. Either way, I’ll watch for the guy drama.
I think I’m physically incapable of hearing the baby voice. Everyone said that about Whitney Bischoff too and I just didn’t hear it. Nor can I hear it with Amanda. I have an oddly low voice so maybe that has something to do with it? I dunno.
Olivia would be a hilarious bachelorette. But I’ve heard it’s probably going to be Caila. The contestants make or break each season anyway. I couldn’t stand Juan Pablo from the beginning, but his season had the BEST cast!
Married at 22. Happily married for 20 years with 2 kids. Maturity is everything
Agree! Amanda’s high pitched baby voice would definitely get old. No thanks!
I would be willing to bet Jubs is going to Paradise. Heck, half these girls HAVE to because everyone else has already been!
I am hoping ABC is leaking the news about Calia because it isn’t Calia… unless they choose a whole lot of guys with LOTS of personality for her, it just won’t be interesting at all, and maybe not even then! She’s just too bland and scripted. Please no. I vote for JoJo (if she remains) or Amanda. Mostly Amanda who has some spunk in her that I like a lot.
I think it’s hard to tell if they will be a good Bachelorette- I found Ben mildly entertaining on Kaitlyn’s season, but I had no idea if I would like him as The Bachelor. It is so different when all the focus is on them.
I totally agree Elizabeth I was so excited for Bob Guiney who turned out to be the biggest player and holds the record having slept with 5 bachelorettes, Juan Pablo who was just disrespectful to women (namely Claire) and Chris the farmer who was just awkward and boring are best. I say Calia would be good, but who knows!
I wish Amanda would be the Bachelorette too. She’s perfect for the role. But I’ll still watch if it’s Caila. I have a feeling they’ll do a really good casting job this season with her contestants. They pretty much have to, if they want the ratings.
Hey, maybe Nick will come back a third time! XD
I think Amanda reminds me too much of Emily Maynard! I think Jojo would be the best bachelorette!
I was wondering the same thing, Kris. Maybe they are trying to throw us off? Or there will be TWO bachelorettes and the boys have to pick like last time?
I think this season was pretty well summed up by 3/4 of the women on the hot seat being people who didn’t really impact the show (Lace) or were interesting for a while but quickly identified themselves as people who wouldn’t be around at the end (Jubilee & Olivia). And then the 4th (Caila) being around to say nice things and show off her good hair. Harrison has Ben on The Bachelor Mt. Rushmore but his season is closer to Mt. Rip Van Winkle. Lincee, your blog is twice as interesting as this show – and I don’t mean to insult you by only saying twice, that may be a low estimate.
The real odd part of this whole episode was the audience screaming loudly as they came back from or left for a commercial. Was Oprah on the stage giving everyone a new car? What was so exciting about this bachelor, this season, or this group of semi nit wits? And you get a smart thing…and you get a smart thing and you get a chicken and…
Hahaa! I had to mute my TV whenever they returned from commercial! I noticed the same thing!
don’t forget the jam…
I like Caila, but she’s way too young to make a believable bachelorette… It seems like the producers are trying to (finally!) get with the diversity times and that’s about the only reason they are grooming Caila for the role. They should really start with having an actual diverse group of contestants IMO, not have 20 white people and sprinkle in the odd ethnic and call it “diversity”.
Love the recap Lincee, thanks for livening up that snooze fest of an episode!
I think Lauren is going to win. Still hoping Jojo would get the B role.
Absolutely agree. JoJo for the B.!
No to Caila or Becca for Bachelorette! Both are boring and are poor communicators. Did anyone think Caila looked very different last night? Something was off and I can’t put my finger on it…her hair style? Her eyebrows? Her lack of makeup?
Yes! I thought so too but couldn’t put my finger on it either! I thought it was maybe less eye makeup? No false eyelashes? Her hair was different too — at least she wasn’t touching it the whole time.
yes! what was it??? i was thinking that the whole time but couldn’t identify what was different aside from the way she parted her hair. but it was more than that….
I thought she looked like she had put on a few pounds? Not a bad thing! Her face looked fuller, or less makeup, or something…
I would love for the bachelorette to be someone entirely NEW.
Me too. The recycling of “contestants” is getting boring.
Me too….let’s put a stop to this pre-emptive auditioning……Caila was doing it the entire time
I noticed the different look, too! I think part of it was much less makeup, but I’m pretty sure the biggest difference was bangs.