Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Season 4, Episode 4

The tropical storm known as D-Lo leaves a path of destruction after her arrival in Paradise. Before Penguin Matt can even offer Kristina his condolences (?) the next morning, another disturbance makes landfall in the form of a spunky personality in a jungle-themed romper.

Her name is Sarah.

She has zero expectations but is hopeful that she will find her one true love in Paradise and would be oh-so-thrilled if that one true love’s name just happened to be Adam.

Come again, Sarah?

According to Raven, darling Sarah was also in Dallas during the hiatus when Raven originally met Adam. Also, they all spent the night together. Sure Adam and Raven hit it off, but did they cuddle like Adam and Sarah did the morning after? By the looks of Raven’s major eye roll, our resident queen bee of the plastics is not looking forward to Sarah “ruining everything.”

Sarah bounces down the stairs, date card in hand, into the open arms of BIP’s official welcoming committee: Jasmine and Sholphin. They scurry her over to the beach bed and all eyes are on Jasmine as she delivers the same line she’s asked five times before: “Who were you interested in before you arrived?”

Of course Sarah answers “Adam.” She gives Raven an embarrassed smile and listens as Raven extends her complete and total permission to ask Adam on a date. Raven also reminds her friend that Adam just landed on the island, so no one has had the opportunity to see where his head is at as far as potential romances go. Also, Ben Z is awesome, Ben Z is great, Ben Z is the best thing that every happened to Paradise, and on Wednesdays we wear pink.

The other girls immediately chime in, enthusiastically hopping on the Ben Z train. Sarah is surprised to hear that all of her female cast mates think Ben Z is the perfect guy and would be perfect for her.

Sarah is confused. If Ben Z is so fetch, why has no one else snatched him up?

She does her due diligence, grabs Ben for some alone time, and glazes over as he talks about his dog non-stop. Then she hits Adam so she can determine if he’s cool with her swiping right. Adam is down. Sarah waits a few minutes while the ABC Intern gathers everyone together so Sarah can officially invite Adam on her super fun date.

Raven declares “If he’s into her, I’m done.”

Well, I hope so.

Adam is excited about his one-on-one with Rachel Sarah and Sarah’s hope is that it’s fireworky. They both agree that they are attracted to each other, they both feel the chemistry, and they both want to go into “this” with an optimistic, yet realistic viewpoint. They make out and all parties feel the fireworkys.

Back at the compound, the islanders feel all the feels. Raven is nervous about Adam choosing Sarah over her. And by “nervous” I mean she is going to cut someone should they dump her on national television. Wells wonders to Nashville Danielle if there’s someone out there who is perfect for him. Danielle all but leans over the bar to smack some sense into his noggin, reminding him that he has to pursue a woman if he wants her. She refrains from pointing to her own head. Lacey cries huge tears that no one likes her and then completely changes her tune when Jasmine hands her a date card.

It’s from Jorge! Of Jorge’s Tourges! He wants to take Lacey and one lucky dude on a romantic tour!

Lacey asks Ben, Robby, Matt, and all the other bros if they want to be her out-in-public girlfriend? All the boys pass. They just want to be friends, but they all think she’s great. Diggy takes one for the team and agrees to go out with Lacey. They hop a few horses and follow Jorge to a romantic beach. He knows it’s romantic because he was conceived there.

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Jorge sticks around to pour drinks and make small talk. It’s essentially a two-on-one. Diggy takes the bull by the horns and asks Jorge to adios so he can make out with Lacey on the beach, in the surf, and by the ocean.

Lacey and Diggy head back to the resort and exactly eleven minutes later, Dominique arrives rockin’ a sweet set a braids. I wonder how long the producers made Dom stay in the limo until Diggy came back from his date? The girls go nuts over the “flirty, fun, and free” cast member who just showed up. Taylor is so excited, she actually leaves her traditionally horizontal position next to Derek so she can properly hug her friend before throwing the girl no one likes under the bus.

Priorities.

Taylor tells Dom that she should extend her date card to Diggy. He’s got a great vibe and would be perfect for her. Lacey looks mortified. Once again, it’s been ELEVEN MINUTES since she returned from shoving her own tongue down this dude’s throat. Is Taylor for real?

Why, yes. Taylor is for real. Dom asks Diggy to join her on a date. He agrees and Lacey falls to pieces. Taylor, because she is such a good friend with a high moral compass, goes to console her since “nobody else cares.” Taylor tells Lacey that she is sorry (she isn’t), but Dom and Diggy deserve to be together and this wasn’t intentional (it was). This is how Paradise works.

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Lacey: “Paradise sucks.”

Lacey knows that her rose is on the chopping block. Who will pick her now that Diggy is all up in Dom’s grill feeding her strawberries?

Quick Poll: How many of you hid behind your couch cushion when Diggy told Dom he was jealous of the strawberry? Was it just me? No? Yes?

Meanwhile, Nashville Danielle decides to pack it up and leave Paradise, blaming the fact that she hasn’t found love. I thought this was odd since Paradise isn’t over yet. She doesn’t know who will come strolling down those stairs in the next couple of days. Or does she?

Suddenly, everyone wishes her well and praise her for “saving lives.” I was confused again, until someone said she’s leaving for Kenya. We don’t know any other details. The cast seems sad. Even Wells, who shares that he and Danielle went out a few years ago, but ended up squarely in the friend zone. He thinks she’s way too good for him.

Nashville heads over to the bar to wish her crush good-bye. He offers to take her bags and walk her to the rejection SUV. He tells her that if anyone deserved to find love in Paradise, it was her. Then he kisses her passionately. TAKE THAT TO KENYA!

Are Wells and Danielle together today? I guess time will tell. To quote my friend Emily, “You know they eclipsed together in Nashville.”

One hundred percent.

What did you think of Sarah’s arrival and connection with Adam? Is Lacey going home? Will Raven go back to Ben? Can he love someone more than his dog? We shall see!

If you want to hear my thoughts on the Bachelor in Paradise after show, feel free to download Episode 12 of the iHateGreenBeans podcast later today! Thank you!