Bachelorette Becca recap: Pineapple

Most of you around here know that “pineapple” is the official safe word for the iHateGreenBeans community. We’ve used it since Mesnick’s Melba toast season and it has come in handy thousands of times throughout the seasons.

Let me say, dear reader, that it was PROCLAIMED last night over and over and over again when this happened:

Bachelorette Becca

There it is. In all its golden glory. I’m afraid Houston doesn’t have enough antibacterial hand sanitizer to squirt directly into my eyeballs. The image is there F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Therefore, I will have to adopt the same helmet/goggle situation Becca is wearing in the picture above for the rest of my life.

Also, work hinders me from writing my recap in a timely manner. It’s going to be tardy. I apologize for that. But have no fear! Y’all can have a conversation right here in the comments section. I’ll give you a topic:

Is the earth flat?

Discuss.

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Natalie
Natalie
1 year ago

Oh, goodness…Jordan CANNOT be so self deluded? Can he?? CAN HE????? Garret is a BABE! Didn’t see it at first but he’s been a 4 week grower for me! He’s my pick…well that and Becca’s endless gushing…send the other guys home hahaha Jean Blac’s “I love you” backpedal was the Pinapple-iest thing ever. As was the Garret and Becca dancing and macking on in front of the crowd with Grainger Smith..honestly why…WHY? Sooooooooooooooooooooooo cringeworthy! I think that every time.!

Rosa
Rosa
1 year ago
Reply to  Natalie

I agree! I love Garrett’s personality. He seems so happy-go-lucky and I hope as people watch the season he’ll be exonerated from the stupid Instagram-likes-gate of 2018. I thought the Wills date was kinda boring. Jordan….. there are no words. Looking forward to your recap Lincee no matter how tardy!!

Old Christine
Old Christine
1 year ago

Those shiny gold panties just about did me in. I have found Jordan amusing, but that was before the Gold Panty Incident.
Then after Bachelorette I stupidly watched The Proposal. The only good thing about that show was listening to my husband’s snarky comments about it from the next room, and his fake cheering with the audience. I won’t waste an hour of my life on that show again.
Pineapple indeed.

Susan
Susan
1 year ago
Reply to  Old Christine

The Proposal……. What a stupid, stupid show! I would love to hear your thoughts Lincee.

Hayley
Hayley
1 year ago
Reply to  Susan

Agreed! Lincee I was hoping you might have watched that dumb show as well just to hear your thoughts. It almost makes the Bachelor/Bachelorette seem normal. :/

LORRAINE
LORRAINE
1 year ago
Reply to  Hayley

Oh yes please Lincee, give us a paragraph or two on the Proposal!!!

Anita
Anita
1 year ago
Reply to  LORRAINE

CAN. NOT. WAIT for the Podcast and Some Guy’s take on the golden panties and the “I love you/psyche just kidding!” Fiasco.

Anita
Anita
1 year ago
Reply to  Old Christine

I didn’t make it. I checked out when the girl “wanted to be vulnerable” in a swimsuit. WITH HER DADDY IN THE AUDIENCE!!! PINE APPLE!!!! Couldn’t find that remote fast enough.

That whole premise is one huge “pineapple.” Can a show be cancelled after only one episode? Please?

Vicki
Vicki
1 year ago
Reply to  Old Christine

Ohmigosh, The Proposal! I could NOT believe what a train wreck! I was going to immediately turn it off but saw that the guy was from Bakersfield and I used to live there so what the hay. I won’t do that again! Talk about aco-taco! How awkward was it when the guy proposed to the one girl (after asking her 3 or 4 questions) and the other one was left standing there. SO embarrassing! Thinking maybe the reason Lincee’s recap is running late is because she watched too and is still waiting for her stomach to settle down.

Jen
Jen
1 year ago
Reply to  Old Christine

Did anyone catch that in the previews for the proposal, one of the contestants was Scallop Fingers? Also, I saw online that Ashley I. and Jared GOT ENGAGED in Paradise this last weekend. Apparently crazy wears you down after so long!!!

Rperry
Rperry
1 year ago
Reply to  Jen

Yes! I paused the promo for the show and just stared at her. Thought, “Can it really be her?”

Susan
Susan
1 year ago
Reply to  Jen

I thought the same thing from the promos. It actually isn’t Scallop Fingers (Christen). This girl’s name is Monica. They sure do look alike though. Maybe sisters?

Kelli
Kelli
1 year ago

Captain Underpants is pretty hilarious and I’m sure the only reason Becca is keeping him around is for the comic relief. Which was also provided by Lincoln, the flat earther? Whhhaaaaa?????? Not a pineapple moment, but more a W.T.F. moment.

Kevin will not be providing commentary this week because he was naughty yesterday and spent the evening in time out.

Norma
Norma
1 year ago
Reply to  Kelli

I agree completely, Kelli with your first paragraph, but I must ask…whatever did Kevin do???? I look forward to his commentary just as much as Lincee’s!!!! He’s become our mascot!!

Kathleen
Kathleen
1 year ago
Reply to  Kelli

Free Kevin! We miss his on-point (on-snout?) observations!

grace
grace
1 year ago
Reply to  Kelli

i believe she is “required” to keep certain contestants that make the show more interesting, dramatic, etc.

Dee
Dee
1 year ago
Reply to  Kelli

Yes, FREE KEVIN! FREE KEVIN! FREE KEVIN! Haha We miss you, little buddy. Hopefully he toes the line a bit better for next week’s episode . . .

Deebee
Deebee
1 year ago

I’m so sick of Jordan and his scripted behavior. He’s now gotten much more than his “15 minutes of fame” so can we please just move on?!

Laurie
1 year ago

Did you see this show illustrate IRONY tho???? The same golden panty boy later wore a shirt with a pineapple on it!!!!!!!

Shannon
Shannon
1 year ago
Reply to  Laurie

Laurie I noticed that too! hilarious!

LORRAINE
LORRAINE
1 year ago

Jordan is hilarious!!! His snarky comments are GOLDEN… Without him it was all that bozohead declaring his fake love along with that fake perfume. I mean how cheesy was that? I am so glad that Becca shut that mess down. I bet he has declared his fake love many times before and handed out that same perfume over and over, probably his signature move in order to get the panties down! What a bozohead! I for one hope Jordan pops up on Paradise! He has not even gotten a kiss yet! I almost fell out of my sleep laughing at… Read more »

Yesi
Yesi
1 year ago
Reply to  LORRAINE

I totally agree- Jordan is reality TV Gold! His commentary makes the episodes for me! And, I do agree with him also, he is pretty mulit-faceted- never backs down from another guy and chopped that wood log in half with one go! Not crushing, just observing!

Anita
Anita
1 year ago

Two thoughts last night: 1, Yep. Garrett’s the winner. Everybody else can go home. She’s giggly and goofy and smiley and touchy with him. They are so freaking CUTE together. It’s a wrap folks. And 2. But…isn’t…Jordan…GAY? He is right? He’s not into Becca At. All. But whenever one of the guys “antagonizes” him? He lights up like Christmas. Shouldn’t he be lighting up when BECCA’S in the room? Hm? No? Okay then. I see now why the powers that be are making her keep Jordan so long. So she can get rid of him on the two-on-one date. LEAVE… Read more »

BA77
BA77
1 year ago
Reply to  Anita

I totally agree on both points. I could see it coming down to Blake and Garrett… They need to downplay drama and start showing her with another contestant like Blake that we could possibly think has a chance!

Ross
Ross
1 year ago

Is it me? or did Becca do a convincing Morticia Addams impression in her rose ceremony gown? The Jordan thing has surely run it’s course, but I’m sure the producers will keep him around as long as there is drama to cash in on. My gaydar still rings loud and clear.

Aimee
Aimee
1 year ago

Garrett is really growing on me! He just seems normal and down to earth. I like Colten to but I have a feeling that there is something looming that we have yet to see! The Jean Blanc thing was soo weird. I think he really did like her and then tried to save face which made it worse, blowing up in everyone’s faces. And Lincoln….it is one of those bless your heart moments. He can’t be serious can he?! Friction?? Jordan – I can’t even go there. He is a producers plant and I feel like they are not even… Read more »

Yesenia
Yesenia
1 year ago
Reply to  Aimee

LOVED the lumberjack date too!

Ruth
1 year ago

I was hoping Garret would redeem himself from the Instagram likes since Becca seems to really, really, really like him, but last night he said the word “bloodline” when talking about his family and that is a dog whistle for white supremacists. So I’m still not feeling the Garret love. I hope if he is a nazi Becca gets out.

Donna
Donna
1 year ago
Reply to  Ruth

Wow. That’s a little harsh calling the kid a nazi, racist, white supremacist…based on what?? Not getting all this outrage over him, it’s not like he has swastika tattoos on his face and wears a white hood.
Personally, I just enjoy this recap and laughing at the absurdity of this Show. It’s my guilty pleasure and break from real suffering in life 🙂

Lauren
Lauren
1 year ago
Reply to  Donna

you don’t have to have swastika tattoos and wear a white hood to be a bigot. I think Ruth is just pointing out that his use of language falls in line with someone who holds beliefs that would lead them to find humor and “like” photos with extremely hateful and bigoted themes (a bit of a pattern). He may seem sweet on the show but the show is surface level. We don’t really see who these people are, we just get glimpses. Becca clearly doesn’t get to see who they truly are either, or I doubt she, a self proclaimed… Read more »

Anita
Anita
1 year ago
Reply to  Lauren

Woah…he liked one racist post a billion years ago. He said “bloodline” – one. word. he liked one. post.

And suddenly he’s a fricken NAZI????? COME ON Y’ALL!!!!!

Ruth
1 year ago
Reply to  Anita

I did say IF.

Lauren
Lauren
1 year ago
Reply to  Anita

It wasn’t one post. It was a whole bunch.

Donna
Donna
1 year ago
Reply to  Lauren

“We don’t really see who these people are, we just get glimpses.” For example, what they may or may not “like” on social media? Isn’t that just a glimpse… Just seems really judgmental and narrow minded to judge a man so harshly based on what amounts to hearsay. I honestly don’t care enough to stalk/research him, shoot I couldn’t pick him out of a line up or wouldn’t recognize him in the grocery line! Just tired of the ignorant, blind bashing of a guy because he may disagree with your views. I find racist and nazi extremely strong words to… Read more »

Lauren
Lauren
1 year ago
Reply to  Donna

It’s not really hearsay. He liked a bunch of social media posts that are super offensive to most moral people. He apologized so he obviously thought he did something wrong, or more likely understands it’s not socially acceptable to hold those views. I honestly don’t really care if he wants to be ignorant. Im just surprised that the fact that he has a nice smile and says generic bachelor catch phrases would redeem him to so many. I also wonder if Becca knew about his views she would have kept him. ‍♀️You obviously are a big fan. Sorry if I… Read more »

Karen S
Karen S
1 year ago
Reply to  Lauren

Lauren, YES. This. I for one cannot even stomach watching him after finding out this information. It makes me physically ill. He and Becca are just so fundamentally different in this regard, and I just don’t see how, if he’s the last one standing, this could possibly work out. The show needs to do better with weeding people out that have pending criminal charges against them, sketchy social media histories, relationships with other franchise members, etc. And they need to actually compare them to what the current lead is actually like. Becca is one of the more open and political… Read more »

Lauren
Lauren
1 year ago
Reply to  Donna

And with regard to “bloodlines” discussing it in the context of horses vs humans is totally different. Fundamentally flawed argument, Donna

Vhout
Vhout
1 year ago
Reply to  Donna

Join the discussion…Well said! Could not agree more!

Karen S
Karen S
1 year ago
Reply to  Lauren

Wondering the same things…

Dee
Dee
1 year ago

Garrett puts on a good show and is not too hard to look at, but he’s lost all appeal for me after finding out about his social media behavior where he was mocking the trans community, liberal feminists, and undocumented immigrants, and spreading false information about a young Parkland High School shooting survivor. Someone else here in the comments caught Garrett’s comment last night about his family’s “bloodline” and I have to say I found that pretty telling as well with regard to the possibility of him having white supremacist leanings. Think Becca (herself a somewhat liberal feminist!) is gonna… Read more »

Karen S
Karen S
1 year ago
Reply to  Dee

“Garrett puts on a good show and is not too hard to look at, but he’s lost all appeal for me after finding out about his social media behavior…” YES. Exactly this. I couldn’t even concentrate on their date because I cannot bring myself to overlook this stuff.

In regards to David, it sounds like they were worried he had a concussion, among other things. Probably why they took precautions. He did fall on his head, afterall. Now, to try and imply it might’ve been the doing of another contestant- THAT is manufactured drama.

EBro
EBro
1 year ago
Reply to  Dee

Garrett seems like a pretty dim bulb to me. Every sentence he uttered sounded like the autogenerated responses in gmail. Becca clearly prefers him, but we’ll see how appealing he is when she has to spend multiple days in a row with him.

Doris
Doris
1 year ago

I have one question, if Becca is asking honesty from all the guys, shouldn’t she be honest with all of them? I know the producers are keeping Goldie Pants around for entertainment but it kinda looks bad on Becca, if you ask me. My favorites are Garret and Blake. Has anyone noticed that Garret kinda looks like Owen Wilson?

April
April
1 year ago
Reply to  Doris

Yes, but IMO he looks even more like Luke Wilson.

Rperry
Rperry
1 year ago

Another pineapple moment for me was the jump and straddle ™ on poor Garret. He looked like he was barely able to keep standing upright. And yet he seems to be an outdoorsy, strong guy.

Dee
Dee
1 year ago

P.S. I miss Clay! Sure wish he could come back this season . . .

Mollie A
Mollie A
1 year ago
Reply to  Dee

CLAY FOR THE NEXT BACHELOR.

Dee
Dee
1 year ago
Reply to  Mollie A

Yes, please!!

Karen S
Karen S
1 year ago
Reply to  Dee

He’s got more important things to deal with than the Bachelor franchise, unfortunately for us. Trying to prolong his NFL career and sign with a team for the upcoming season are far bigger deals. Doubt he’ll be on Paradise, and also doesn’t work with him being the Bachelor. Perhaps once he retires?

Jen
Jen
1 year ago

Last night was… something else. Jordan cracks me up but obviously is kept (along with Chicken) for the two on one next week. I’m team Blake all the way. I just hope Becca gets there with him. It’s not looking good for anyone whose name is not Garrett.

Ann
Ann
1 year ago
Reply to  Jen

Jordan is so obviously a producer’s required pick. Her body language, tone of voice, and total lack of enthusiasm when she was forced to give him the rose were very telling! And where oh where was our black modesty box when he bent over in those gold panties? Yikes! And she kept that joker and let the sweet Harlem Globetrotter go! No way. I agree with the comments about Garrett. In addition to his social media rants, his little bomb-ola about being married previously (3 months!) was a surprise. And his explanation was interesting and didn’t seem honest. And I,… Read more »

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