Whispers
I am two months out from my book launching into the world. Sure, my butt has been clenched since the summer, but a new inconvenience has reared its ugly head.
The whispers.
I hear them all the time:
You are an idiot for thinking people will care about this book.
No wonder you are nervous. You should be.
Everyone is going to know your business and think you are weak.
You’re never going to make a living doing this.
You should be embarrassed by thinking this is a way to serve the Lord.
God doesn’t want you to write a book.
You need to adopt kids or go live in Africa. Why else are you single?
That’s why God isn’t answering your prayers. He doesn’t care.
I battle whispers all day long. Sometimes I find myself paralyzed from fear as I try to puzzle through the reality of these statements. A part of me starts to rationalize how this is some sort of preparation for what’s to come. I imagine the inevitable failure, followed by ridicule.
Then I remember that my book may be considered by the one who whispers, as a very dangerous weapon. I’ve been commissioned to advance the Kingdom at all cost and I choose to do that through my writing.
Of course I’m going to be attacked.
I have to train my brain to think differently. I have to teach my heart how to recognize where the whispers are coming from. And I have to be prepared to combat those thoughts with truth each and every time.
You are an idiot for thinking people will care about your insecurities and get anything from your divorce.
THANK YOU FOR TURNING MY DARKNESS INTO LIGHT! (2 SAMUEL 22-29)
No wonder you are nervous. You should be.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMISE TO GIVE PEACE TO THOSE WHO ARE
FAITHFUL. (PSALM 85:8)
Uhm, Chapter 2? Everyone is going to know your business and think you are weak.
YOU HAVE BLESSED ME WITH A SPIRIT OF POWER, LOVE, AND A
SOUND MIND. (2 TIMOTHY 1:7)
You’re never going to make a living doing this.
YOU ARE A GOD OF HOPE AND THEREFORE I AM FILLED WITH JOY AND PEACE THROUGH FAITH. (ROMANS 15:13)
You should be embarrassed by thinking this is a way to serve the Lord.
GOD DELIGHTS IN ME (ZEPHANIAH 3:17) AND I AM ENGRAVED IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND. (ISAIAH 49:16)
God doesn’t want you to write a book. You need to adopt kids or go live in Africa. Why else are you single at 42?
SOME TRUST IN CHARIOTS. SOME TRUST IN HORSES. BUT I WILL TRUST IN THE NAME OF THE LORD MY GOD (PSALM 20) AND GO WHERE MY FEET TAKE ME.
That’s why God isn’t answering your prayers. He doesn’t care.
I KNOW THAT NOTHING CAN SEPARATE ME FROM HIS LOVE. (ROMANS 8:39)
There are times when fear, anxiety, and worry creep in. That’s natural, but I can’t stay in that place.
I can’t worry and worship at the same time.
I have to remind myself that I have everything I need:
I am called by the Father.
I am redeemed by the Son.
I am sealed by the Spirit.
I am seated with Christ in heavenly places.
I am empowered by the Holy Spirit to walk worthy in this world.
I am ready.
And I am all in.
This is so good. I’m battling against my own “whispers” right now, and this was so helpful to read. The one I hear the loudest right now is “well, you certainly don’t deserve [what I’m praying for] when you are weak and go and do THAT.” (Not that I deserve it, per se…I mean “God certainly won’t bless you with [what I’m praying for]…”). But you’re right–that’s not a message from God. You’ve encouraged me, so thank you for sharing. Good job for fighting through those whispers! I’m excited to read your book in a couple of months.
thank you abby!
YES!!!!
Yeah, you are!! I’m so impressed how you’ve stepped up to the plate when God called. He will honor and bless that.
You ARE going to touch lives with the story of yours – I know I always feel like I’m not in it alone; that it’s not “just me” when I hear the stories of both brokenness and healing in other people. That’s often what inspires me most to press on. Hearing about seemingly “perfect” lives to me is very discouraging, cuz who could measure up? (In fact, that’s why I stopped reading and following a few blogs…)
And remember, if you only touch even one person, that is a person loved by God who would not have had that encouragement had you not been faithful to share your authentic story.
Good on you, and keep on remembering whose voice to listen to! You never know whose life you may touch – you touch mine with your humour and vulnerability all the time!
I will be praying for you!!!
Love this- beautifully written. For whatever reason I always thought I would outgrow the “whispers” but funny thing- it still hasn’t happened.
Thanks Lincee for being so open and honest. One of my whispers is that people (like Lincee) who seem to have millions of friends and not just face book friends but actual live human beings that love and support her do not have self doubts. Did not realize or had forgotten that particular assumption until I was surprised to read your thoughts a moment ago. Hope and pray many good things for in launching your new book. 🙂
You are a rare gem!
You are strongest when you work through your fears instead of letting them hold you back, which is exactly what you have done! Congratulations on your book! That is amazing!!
This. I love this. It’s everything.
This has me in tears. Thank you for sharing this. God’s power lives in your writing, Lincee. I just felt it. Keep writing!